Moments I want to remember...

Thursday, January 26, 2006

Crazy, Weird, Odd movie

I watched a movie last night, was flipping channels and left it on that one when the phone rang and then at some point started watching this movie, just all around crazy movie. I am not sure how far I was in to it, but that didn't matter after hitting info and looking at the title and than reading the description, WHAT!!!!

Plot Summary for
She Hate Me (2004)
Harvard-educated biotech executive John Henry Jack Armstrong gets fired when he informs on his bosses, launching an investigation into their business dealings by the Securities & Exchange Commission. Branded a whistle-blower and therefore unemployable, Jack desperately needs to make a living. When his former girlfriend Fatima, a high powered businesswoman--and now a lesbian--offers him cash to impregnate her and her new girlfriend Alex, Jack is persuaded by the chance to make easy money. Word spreads and soon Jack is in the baby-making business at $10,000 a try. Lesbians with a desire for motherhood and the cash to spare are lining up to seek his services. But, between the attempts by his former employers to frame him for security fraud and his dubious fathering activities, Jack finds his life, all at once, becoming very complicated.

So, I ended up watching it all the way to the end and what a CRAZY CRAZY movie, if you ever bored out of your mind and have the desire to just be saying, "What the F$&@" through a movie this is the one. So, I am wondering, who thought of this shit and I come to find out......Spike Lee, that didn't surprise me.

The ending was the most out there part of the movie and maybe this was Spike Lee's fantasy.

I guess I must have been entertained though, cause like I said I watched the entire movie.

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Still seeing the Ex

So, I have been hanging out with the ex more and more often and last weekend we had an incredible time together. I am still not sure where I am going with this or what I am getting myself into, but I guess I will deal with that when I need to and keep trying to figure it out in the meantime. We have been hanging out one night a weekend for about 2 months now. During the holidays things were crazy and we didn’t see each other one of the weekends, which brought us to this past weekend.

He called me and I asked him if he could hang out one night this weekend and he didn’t think so cause he had this and that to do, well we talked for a little bit and than he said let me call you back. I usually don’t hear back from him that night when he says that so when we hung up I assumed that was that. He actually called right back and asked when I could leave to come out and that we could hang out for a little while. He had to go help someone move and was going to stay at their place since he isn’t an early riser. I left soon after that and got to his place around 830, on my way there he called and asked me if I knew he would have to leave, normally I spend the night or we are up until past 4 in the morning most times when we hang out. I said yes and asked him what time he would have to leave, 11 was the answer, and I was happy because I was thinking around 10.

When I got there we just talked for awhile than he brought out a new game he had bought, it was a lot of fun. We played that and had a great time, laughing and such. He is very intelligent and was on the ball with the answers and I was pouting, so he let me answer a few, even though he knew the answer and even cheered me on when I did. He is a good sport. It was really nice and reminded me of how it used to be before I broke his heart and lost his trust. Those moments of the air feeling free with out any resentment are few these days, but this night was one and it was wonderful.

After the game we just hung out and talked, I am still not sure how we can have so much to talk about all the time, but it never seems to be an issue and we are never at a loss for words with each other. So, it is getting close to 11 and I am not ready for our pleasant evening to end so I start messing with him and before I know it, it is ON. I gave him a nice massage to relax all his muscles before the move tomorrow. While I am finishing up, he some how can always tell when I am just about done he asks what time it is. I am thinking probably 1130ish, nope 12:45, where did the time go. He doesn’t seem in any big rush and that makes me feel even better, but I motivate him to get up and get moving after we lay there for a little longer.

My ride home went faster than usual, seeing as though it is about 50 minutes, but I was feeling so relaxed and just happy.

He has always been the one person in my life that can make me forget about everything and just chill and laugh, feel free of worry. From day one when I went to his house it was like I went to my own special place where there were no issues or problems and I have always appreciated that he does that for me. When we are together we truly are in our own world and I am sure anyone that has hung out with us can attest to that.

Now here is the part that gets me, every time we have one of these really perfect nights, which is almost every time we hang out, he shuts me out the next few days and I don’t get it, I talked to Cluss about this some, I mean I kinda get it, but I don’t like it. I think because he feels he has opened up to much and let his guard down and he feels the immediate need to put it back up and not let me back in too much. I know this is my fault and I created the barrier with all the times I ended it, but how long will it be before I am trusted again and do I really want that, cause I don’t want to ever hurt him again.

More than anything he has been one of the best friends I have ever had in my life. He has never disrespected me or turned his back on me, he has always wanted what I thought was best for me and supported that. He has never asked for more than friendship through all the times I left and I never gave him that. We have always had a very deep connection on every level from day one before we ever met and I think that still fucks with both if us, I know it does me. I want to be there for him and I want him to be able to trust me again, but I also want to know I am not going to hurt him again and I am still not there yet. I will just keep processing things and trying to figure it out and continue to be respectful of the walls that are built around him.

Four Corners 2002 and one more from 2003

Here we are at the Wine and Cheese Bugs and Mush hosted

Happy Birthday to me......Wow look how little the kiddies look...

2003 - We celebrated our Christmas and it started snowing, what more could we ask for?

Hey girls, remember my kool-aid red hair, WOW

Friday, January 13, 2006

Friday the 13th

First traffic was HORRIBLE this morning, way to start of my Friday the 13th!!!!! It took me a hour longer than usual which made my commute almost two hours for 15 miles, maybe not even 15.

Now I am trying to load pics and it keeps giving me an error, after I took time to find more fun pics of the four corners......AHHHHHHHH!!!

Hopefully the day will get better, just finished my cup of coffee and I am so GLAD it's Friday!!!!!!!

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Four corners of the universe 2003

Girls Poker night!!!!

I don't like nightmares

I had the worst nightmares ever last night!!!!!!!! They were horrible and very intense and disturbing. I truly believe, or at least what I can recall, these were the worst ever. So, I won't write about the horrible details, but just think of the most terrifying event you have ever seen and through yourself in the mix. So, here is a little info regarding nightmares:

We all have had nightmares at various parts in our lives. They are quite normal. But what is exactly a nightmare and why do we have them?

Nightmares are a subcategory of dreams. The distinction of a nightmare is its frightening and/or emotional content. You tend to wake up in fear in the midst of a nightmare. Because of its frightening nature, you tend to remember your nightmares and the vivid details. They have a bigger impact upon your waking mind and its images stay with you throughout the day.

One reason for nightmares may be a way of our unconscious to get our attention about a situation or problem that you have been avoiding. It is time to take notice and confront a problem or situation. Nightmares serve an important purpose in showing you what is troubling you from within you deeper levels. Discussing, analyzing, and understanding your nightmares can lead to a solution for some problem, internal conflict or personal difficulty.

Causes Of Nightmares

Childhood and Family - Present nightmares can be rooted in past neglect and trauma from childhood. From lack of love, neglect, alcoholism, to severe abuse, family members can be the most destructive influence on a person's life. Nightmares may be a sign of such inner turmoil.

Life - The way your life is going and the larger society as a whole can contribute to nightmares. Your perception of the world, heath, natural disasters, criticism about politics, crime in the streets and your inability to control such events may sometimes lead to nightmares.

Relationships - Your intimate relationships and your daily interactions with people can also be a source of your nightmares. You may have paranoia about how your think others perceive you. You fear that they do not understand and see who you really are. Isolation and unhappiness may appear in nightmares as abandonment and loneliness.

Stress - The way you handle and deal with stress can trigger nightmares. Nightmares are a normal response to unacceptable levels of fear and stress. People diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder frequently have nightmares about their traumatic event, like war, rape, death of a loved one, car accident, plane crash, terrorism, etc.

Work - Since most of us spend the majority of our day at work, it is no surprise that work-related issues are a common source for your nightmares. Stress, job security (or there lack of), co-workers, unresolved work problems, or general dissatisfaction with what you do can manifest into a nightmare. The nightmare may reflect feelings of frustration and an inability to control your work-related issues. People in high-stress level or high-risk jobs often report of having nightmares. Nightmares of this nature may appear as you being attacked, chased, or being out of control.

In general, stress, trauma, fears, insecurities, feelings of inadequacy, health problems, marital issues, etc may all be reasons for having nightmares.

Having nightmares are normal, but a high frequency of nightmares can be a sign of being overwhelmed and excessive stress which should be dealt with. Nightmares can be an important resource for self-knowledge and emotional discovery. They convey an important message and help clear up the conflict in your life. it is important to distance yourself and work pass the emotional content (fear, grief, anger, etc.) of your nightmare and analyze it from an objective perspective. The disturbing emotions may be a way for your unconscious to prevent you from digging deep into the meaning of your nightmares. But it pays to try and make sense of those darker dreams.

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

10+ years in the making, this is for you ladies

So, I know Clussy has commented in her Blog and Maybe even Mush and Bug, but sitting here I realized that we have been in eachother's lives for more than a decade and in addition to that you all have watched/babysat/helped/given advice/ and been a part of my children growing up. I know we have been through so much good, bad, happy, sad, and through it all there will always be something special we all share with each other. I always think back to the book Bug made for us about the forces, each of us contributing some way and being one in another, but all of us have always been so different individually. It really touches my heart that we have found eachother again and to some degree know what's going on in the other's lives. I love you girls(women) and you all have really made a difference in my life and been a strong player in my daughters' lives and I truly appreciate it. I reflect on all the memories and inside jokes/secrets/events we have shared and know that the relationship the four of us had for all those years was truly unique. I know we have all grown and finding time together is not as easy but I feel so blessed and lucky to know that I will always be able to call on you three at any time no matter how much time has been between us. They always talk about the friendships you develop during "the college years" and essentially it was the age we all should have been in college(well one of us was), but the friendships developed at work are just as strong. I am so glad my Mom MADE me walk in to Bennigans that day and apply for a job because I found you three. I want you all to be in my life and in my daughters' live until we leave the earth through good and bad, I love you all so much and I thank you for all the strength, laughter, love, hugs, buffsands, ER nights, game nights, trips, games, support, diapers changed, outtings, tickets, pictures, tears, truth, fun, happiness, late nights, phone calls, work outs, memories and so much more. In 1994 when we went to Diem's graduation and took our first pic of all of us together, I had no idea I just made friends for life. I love you guys!!!!

So, in honor of our many years together I am going to share pics from all the years starting with 2005

That's Aim in the top left corner, let me see if I can find one of just us, okay here it is:

Is it sympathy, that's what I am leaning towards

WHAT THE F*&^???? I am so tired!! Is it sympathy for my two best friends that are pregnant, one being my roommate? Is it depression? Is it the calm after the storm? Is it because I am fat and lazy? Is it from trying to quit smoking? Someone out there….HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I NEED ENERGY and I need it now. All I want to do is sleep, I feel tired all day long and I am so done. I know in the last few months I have been through a lot, the back, the meds they put me on and not sleeping, the stress with the holidays and being a single Mom, the baby daddy drama, and HOMEWORK, but come on, can that really make me feel this tired??? I know in order to get more energy I have to get my lazy butt up and into gear, but it is so not happening and I know what the results of that are, that’s how I got to where I am now. I think the cold weather is a factor too, all I want is too snuggle up and be lazy.

So anyone out there with some motivators, I am up for ideas. Here’s how my day goes though; wake up, feed the dogs, prep for work, walk the dogs, work all day, go home, barely get my clothes changed, cook dinner and work on homework, while cooking, eat dinner and back to homework until somewhere between 830-930, get the kids ready for bed, and have a little time for myself, take the dogs out and done, so do I slip in some work out time at about 1030 when I am ready to fall out, or do I wake up earlier and try first thing in the morning (this isn’t going to happen, I try every morning to get up earlier and lay in bed snoozing the alarm for 45 minutes), it stinks!!!!!!!!

So right now I just convince myself I am having sympathy for my two pregnant friends and we will all just get fat together, only in 7/8 months, I won’t be having a baby……..

Thursday, January 05, 2006

In God's hands is where it will go

Today, when I awoke, I suddenly realized that this is the best day of my life, ever! There were times when I wondered if I would make it to today; but I did! And because I did I'm going to celebrate!Today, I'm going to celebrate what an unbelievable life I have had so far: the accomplishments, the many blessings, and, yes, even the hardships because they have served to make me stronger. I will go through this day with my head held high, and a happy heart.

I will marvel at God's seemingly simple gifts: the morning dew, the sun, the clouds, the trees, the flowers, the birds. Today, none of these miraculous creations will escape my notice.Today, I will share my excitement for life with other people. I'll make someone smile. I'll go out of my way to perform an unexpected act of kindness for someone I don't even know.
Today, I'll give a sincere compliment to someone who seems down. I'll tell a child how special she is, and I'll tell someone I love just how deeply I care for her and how much she means to me.Today is the day I quit worrying about what I don't have and start being grateful for all the wonderful things God has already given me. I'll remember that to worry is just a waste of time because my faith in God and his Divine Plan ensures everything will be just fine.
And tonight, before I go to bed, I'll go outside and raise my eyes to the heavens. I will stand in awe at the beauty of the stars and the moon, and I will praise God for these magnificent treasures.As the day ends and I lay my head down on my pillow, I will thank the Almighty for the best day of my life. And I will sleep the sleep of a contented child, excited with expectation because I know tomorrow is going to be the best day of my life, ever!

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

I feel sick....................

How do I even begin to respond to this:

Wed, 4 Jan 2006 13:13:32 -0500 (GMT-05:00)
Time will tell.

Oh so your little passive bullshit'n ass way of doing shit
is your justification? I told you straight up would I would do
if you tried that bullshit on me & I surely didnt get a response
then now did I? I recall you didnt have a response at all
and definitely backed the fuck off.
In saying this,,,, I can only assume that you did it after the fact w/o
saying a fucking word about. In addition, you havent mentioned it since
hoping that it would build up to this..
You didnt say a word when I have done what I've done for the kids when that
money could've went to child support. So I know for a fact you didnt say shit to me
Barbie or anyone else. Why the fuck would I dish out the little bit of money I do have
and let shit build up with child support you fucking moron?
Now you've really done yourself in.
So you are going to get exactly what you've
been asking for......"alot more headache, alot more pain in your fat ass miserable life".
I warned you not to fuck with me....but as I like it.
Your punishment is yourself everytime you wake up. Shit has really fucked me up &
you are the fucking blame. So while you sit in satisfaction make sure you take into account
what life has in store for your ass.
Keep pleading what you feel towards me...and guess what my feelings will never change about
your sorry ass. I know you dont care. and i dont want you to...Just know that all your bullshit
that you like to reverse b/c I didnt want to be bothered with your sorry ass will serve you right
one day. From child support, to the kids calling someone else Daddy, letting yourself get out of
control, being a fucking crackhead, and last but not least....allowing tricia to gain so much
weight. Maybe you just dont give a fuck so you can hide behind your fat ass problems. Does it make
you feel better? Your life is done!! Tricia has alot of years ahead of her so act like you give a
Or maybe you just dont b/c then you have to look at yourself in the mirror.
You and Barbie both telling me to lay off the subject (like many other subjects)
Once again, I sit and wait. I back off & watch.. Now what can you say? I still dont know
what I'm talking about? Yeah ok... Time will bring every issue/subject to the surface.
You will burn as always. Tricia is miserable! Hide all you want. This is one of many issues.
On a different note....
Always claiming you're struggling huh? Yeah, how about all the money you used to waste.
I wont go any further b/c its a waste of my fucking time.
Yeah you're right..there's nothing you can do. Thats exactly who you are!
I will deal w/ the enforcement agency......then you!!
Shit aint over til I say so. When your children start to see you in a different light I will then
my "satisfaction"..... I wonder how hard that will be? LOL

I might be hater, but I don't care

Pics of the deadbeat Daddy

Just wanted to show off the balding head......ewwwwwww

Peep the shirt "Free Love", and I think that's the new baby Momma in his arms, but not below..opps

This one's great (not) "Quit work, make music", yea, that's a nice example for your kids, all four of them

For more disturbing pics visit: and search Roger Samuel.

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Newest encounter with the "baby daddy"

Well Happy New Year to me, NOT. So everything was going wonderful and today I get a call from “Other baby Momma” that Babies’ Daddy got hit with a deduction from his account for the full amount of child support owed to me. Babies’ Daddy also said he is know negative $XXXX.XX and being hit with over draft fees left and right. So, OBM calls me to warn me not to answer the phone that he will be calling me and he is PISSED and flying off the handle. While I am on the phone with her, I miss his call and of course his STUPID A$$ leaves a VM yelling and angry and I BETTER call him.

First of all, I can’t do anything. Child Support took the money, not me, what does he think I can do. The other thing, he created this situation almost a year ago. I am going to post a very disturbing email from him as evidence in case anything happens to me from a year ago, where this all started. The thing about all of this is he has another one coming, due next week I believe, ignorant a-hole. Yea, I am a little angry, because he doesn’t take any responsibility and expects everyone to clean up behind him. On top of the fact, last time he let it get to a warrant out for his arrest I canceled it with a contract from him stating he would pay monthly, yea, that didn’t happen, in the contract it said if he didn’t I would re-open the case. So, we had words almost a year ago about all of this and he said he wouldn’t pay, so I reopened the case and because he doesn’t stay still and didn’t work a normal job they couldn’t track him so it’s just been building, not that I have received any money from him aside from bday presents for the girls and xmas presents for them, but that doesn’t count.

So, what does this all mean, hell for me, lot’s of angry words and yelling, lots of threatening words and hopefully no actions. Last time he threatened to take my kids and I am so scared. He does know where I live now, for a year he didn’t. I am going to try and get a protective order or restraining order against him, something.

Everyone, please pray for my daughters’ safety, even if you don’t pray just do it for me, “In Jesus Name”. thanks so much.

A letter documenting how crazy the "Baby daddy" is

VERY DISTURBING, read with caution.....

This is the first one in response to my request for some money:
Are you that stupid or do you just get your rocks off by disregardingmy email? Just like disregarding everything else I ever say to you.Do you not understand english or do you think I have a serious condition of memory loss? I do recall sending you a reply to yourwork email which got sent back, so I got your yahoo email address from Barbie and sent the exact email to this one.So Ms. Can I/Can you...would you mind explaining why its so fuckingdifficult to acknowledge a fucking email? In addition, come back weekslater as if "fuck what I say" or "ask for", and send me an email saying..."can you give me some money for the girls". Since you want to ignoremy email about their daycare situation, I will ignore you. Like I wanna be ignorant, we will continue to beef.So how bout this smart ass, answer my fucking question or you justsimply tell me what "the girls" need b/c it sounds like to me you're diverting theissue of daycare on to simply "the girls" need things.Okay Sherlock..fine, you tell me what they need. I'm not giving you a dime inyour hand. Putting money in your hands is insane. God only knows how you'vehandled money in the past. You may think I'm that dumb and naive, but sorry...I'm not! You concentrate on staying clean & staying away from weed smoking bamas/hustlers. I'll worry about what they need.Now once again...what time do they get out of school. If you cant answer simple questionsdont send me another fucking email. I'm not playing your game anymore. Its old & childish.

This is the follow up to my response and the last words we had almost a year ago:

First of all ,, I dont give a fuck what proof you have nor what someone has told you.Second of all, dont try to put this fatherly bullshit in the picture when you "chose"to drive to some niggas house before you could "drive" to my mothers.You talk about "anger"?? I dont have anger in the sense that you're trying to interpret.Its your fucking attitude towards shit & how you contradict yourself. You can hidebehind all this petty shit but I'll be fucking damn if you think just b/c you have raised them "on your own" that I'm supposed to be some toy that you can controlwhile you dont make "effort" to do "anything" I ask. Now you tell me when has therebeen "one moment" of you doing what the fuck I ask. NOT ONE FUCKING TIME, SOLETS NOT GET MY WORDS CONFUSED!! I KNOW WHAT THE FUCK I'M TALKING ABOUTAND SO DO YOU, MS. LET MY KIDS CALL OTHER PEOPLE DADDY SIMPLY B/C OF YOUREXPECTATIONS BUILT AROUND SOME IDIOTIC THINKING PATTERN THAT ONLY BURNEDYOU IN THE LONG RUN. YOU BEST BELIEVE THAT SHIT HAPPENS TO YOU FOR A REASON.. SO MAYBE YOU SHOULD LOOK IN THE MIRROR.You know why I let shit ride? Do you? B/C I could be worse. Its b/c I knewyour days were limited. Whether it been a year, 6 mo.'s or whatever.Now ask yourself now Sherlock, and take me out of the equation....why doesshit happen to you the way it does?? Hmm...go figure. It damn sure aint Rog.And I dont have to bring up old shit. I dont even know what the fuck you do, but I definitely can make sense out it. Its called LOGIC!! You think its cool to carry yourself the way you do, yet still make demands basedon the kids sake, but in the same token you've been livin your life doing any/everythingyou want to do, when you feel like it. So what then? Do you not use excuses?It sounds like to me that you're identifying your own shit and putting on me.I take full responsibility for my shit and will tell you right now, your attitude isa peice of shit. You wanna call me out FUCK YOU!! You wanna run your mouth about me in the past as if your some fucking angel? FUCK YOU!! You wanna confusethe girls and hide behind what....that i'm not around when your 1/2 the blame if notmore? You dont think you play a role in how fucked up shit is? Do you not think, that the times I have had them that they dont question "mommy's actions", themen, the moving,etc?? Get off your self pity bullshit as if I'm trying to divert anduse old shit. This is brought up b/c it never has been to its entirety and you know it.You call yourself genuine. I stay the fuck back b/c I'm confident enuff in whatI feel that every bitch has their day. You've had yours and yet you still wannainterpret shit as if i'm not speaking the truth, so you respond w/ this type ofnonsense. You've got issues. And yes, you damn right I asked you to do "certain" things b/c if it would help and is safe so be it. And I'm glad you didnt b/c who knows what other problems you might have had. If shit was so crisp on yourend you would've never gone through the shit that you did. Do youget that? Frontin like Ms. Supermom/ Roger's a dead beat dad.Like I told you, I'm not your fucking toy. So you can use whatever u feel u need toto make yourself feel better. I havent and I wont put up w/ your bullshit, ignorewhat i have to say, disappear for months at a time, and then ask me for shitb/c you have a legit reason which is.."i'm the father".. Yes...I am the father, butI'm not your fucking toy. So when you make comments like.."asking me for $$2 x's a year.. Who's fault is that? You do what u do, then come to me later.Thats your pattern and thats what I'm speaking on. Come out when u need somethingand ignore other shit whenever you get good and ready...and at the same timebe doing stupid shit around the kids. Are you fucking nuts or something.Your way or no way. This is why you struggle. You wanna call me names,so be it. Let them call somebody else daddy? So be it. These are your choices, notmine. So dont try to divert the shit b/c it wont work. You ignore me, you'll getignored. I think I've been pretty consistent w/ mine and in response you keepdoing the same shit. You're bliind and ignorant all in the same. And to runyour mouth about me for whatever reason back in the day when i FIRST gothome....are you fucking kidding me? You've got alot of nerve. So I sat andwatched. In more ways than you know. So what you think you know about meI dont give a damn. You've got proof? Proof or no proof..what's your point?Like I said in another email "that was ignored" as I speak on continuously/consistentlythroughout this email, you wouldnt know what the fuck is going on in my life. Butyou open your ears up enough to hear what you wanted to hear to keep living, thinking,and doing whatever you want..Okay ..fine, but then its right back to roger being your toyand ask for shit out of nowhere. Is this not your pattern? Correct me if I'm wrong.Consistent since I've been home. So lets not talk about the past 4yrs b/c you're wrong.I can answer questions that the twins ask me if you like. I have no problem with that sinceyou wanna talk shit. Be a father huh? Be this , be that huh? Ok Harmony. I'll be you this time. So while your answers may have been biased based on your shit tothe twins, mine will be straight up. I'll make sure of that since these are the rules youlive by. One thing for sure, your life isnt the way it is b/c of Roger, thats for sure.And since you have been the mother/father hhmmm.. go figure as to why the girlsask so many questions about mommy when there shouldnt be anything to ask.Not one thing!!! You're the perfect one. You've disrespected me and your own daughters.Whatever you may think I do or dont, its definitely no where near your addictive shit,nor has it been around them or titi, your men problems, nor do they need to question me. That I know.And the one question they may ask, you have a significant role as to why it is what it is.Everytime I spit some real shit, you either disappear or come w/ the most common reactionthats so predictable. I'm taking full responsibility and have made it clear a long time ago in one way or another that i'm not your toy. I've made it clear in many ways from tellingyou to come to mom's, keep threatening me I'll .." " ', you only call when.." " ", yet you stil do the same shit. As if to say..fine so be it..Ok ..fine so be it. If nothing changes, nothing changes so keep hiding behind words like responsibility, be a're a joke. All b/c of your ignorant ass, addictive personality, wanting to be in control,using the kids as leverage when you want to, and conditional expectations. So it wontmatter what I say or do...Do you get that?? I doubt it!!Maybe you just dont get it? Or maybe you dont want to? Or maybe b/c you never had a fatherit makes it easier to create this addition to all the shit I've been talking about in thisemail. Sure does make sense to me. So dont talk about "caring". You abuse words whileyou sit and contradict yourself in your own "fashion".And once again, you need to divert or make an excuse as to why you dont respond. Wake the fuke up b/c you did "disregard" my email just like many other times.Lets make this very simple, just b/c you gave a reason as to why you didnt respond doesntjustify nor take away the principle. YOU DID DISREGARD IT BY NOT RESPONDING!! IS YOUR INTELLIGENCE LEVEL AT ZERO? Saying that you moved, stating where you moved,giving details,etc is a proper reply which would definitely "look like" you acknowledged it.So please stop insulting my intelligence. God damn you make me fucking sick w/ yourthinking pattern. Your words.."therefore I figured" your answer of getting them everydaywasnt going to work.. Then guess what genious..." you say exactly that" but you on the other handreply w/ "i need $$, or this or that"..You just dont get it and its fucking ridiculous and this has been you since who knows when.I know me & have never denied shit. Once again, I'm not putting up w/ your bullshit, soyou are the blame. I'm not your fucking toy, so if all that matters is that you get your $$, which is sure does look like it & you sure do imply it, so be it. God will kick u in the ass, b/c I know how I feel and if I have to wait..fine. I"ve been very patient watching yourattitude be your worse enemy. Call me dead beat dad, say i dont care, say "if i really care",all the shit that presses the wrong buttons with me. Your day will come 10 x's worse thanany law, government, prison or whatever can do to me.Something tells me you like it like this. So write the list and I'll take it from there.This discussion is over.