Moments I want to remember...

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Thanks Maxine

My mom always sends me crazy things, but I really liked this one, maybe cause it has my name in it, teee heee

March 27, 2006
Personal Harmony Balance

Like pieces of a puzzle, the many different aspects of your being come together to form the person that you are. You work and play, rest and expend energy, commune with your body and soul, exalt in joy, and feel sorrow. Balance is the state that you achieve when all of the aspects of your life and self are in harmony. Your life force flows in a state of equilibrium because nothing feels out of sync. While balance is necessary to have a satisfying, energetic, and joyful life, only you can determine what balance means to you. Achieving balance requires that you assess what is important to you. The many demands of modern life can push us to make choices that can put us off balance and have a detrimental effect on our habits, relationships, health, and career. In creating a balanced lifestyle, you must ascertain how much time and energy you are willing to devote to the different areas of your life. To do so, imagine that your life is a house made up of many rooms. Draw this house, give each part of your life its own room, and size each room according to the amount of importance you assign to that aspect of your life. You can include family, solitude, activities that benefit others, healthy eating, indulgences, exercise and working on self. You may discover that certain elements of your life take up an inordinate amount of time, energy, or effort and leave you with few resources to nurture the other aspects of your life. You may want to spend less time on these activities and more on the ones that! fulfill you. A balanced lifestyle is simply a state of being in which one has time and energy for obligations and pleasures, as well as time to live well and in a gratifying way. With its many nuances, balance can be a difficult concept to integrate into your life. Living a balanced existence, however, can help you attain a greater sense of happiness, health, and fulfillment.

Monday, March 27, 2006

Closure, enough said

Coincidence…..Fate…..All in God’s plan, you tell me….

I had to leave work early because my daughter was sick. I had no gas because I was to lazy to fill up the night before. When I looked right at the gas station and said to myself, “tomorrow”. So, I am in Friday traffic trying to get to the school and right on the line of “E”. I have a choice of three different gas stations to go to and as I am thinking about which one will be the cheapest, fastest and whatever else, I end up pulling in to the one I never go to. I am pumping my gas and I feel someone looking at me so I turn around as the gas station door closes and a man gets in his truck, windows are tinted and I can’t see him, but the outline of his face looks familiar. I don’t want to stare so hard incase I don’t know the man, I just turn around and continue cleaning out my car and pumping my gas. The car starts to pull out, I try and look on more time and as I turn around the car is pulling to the pump on the other side of me verrrrryyy sloooowly and inching closer and closer, I turn around and look straight in to the face, because the front window is not tinted and it is R.O.W, my ex. My ex that I just can’t let go of, my ex that was no good for me, my ex that I love so much still, my ex that hurt me worse then any and loved me better than any, my ex, ohmigod, he is pulling up next to me. I turned back to pumping my gas and out of the corner of my eye I could see him inching closer and closer in the truck. I turned around again and he had a big smile on his face, so I gave a kinda half smile, not knowing what the hell to do. He started to get out and I just stood there, “Hi, how are you?” he said. I was so uneasy, this is the man that fills my dreams almost every night, the one I think I need in my life, but is nothing but trouble. “I am wonderful, how are you?” We continued to talk and he got closer. He reached out to hug me and I latched on like I never wanted to let go but kept telling myself, stay in control, remember the reasons you walked away. He said he couldn’t stand to see me again and not speak, made me feel a little better. He also apologized for how things went down between us and I accepted and said thanks. Asked about the kids and I asked about his and then we said our “goodbyes” and “see ya arounds”. As he walked away to get in the car I could see him in the air, that smell that warmed my soul and made me feel safe, I miss it. It was great, it was exactly what I needed and had been praying for, closure so I could let go. I got in my car feeling as though a weight had been lifted and I haven’t had any dreams of him since Friday. The best part though after seeing him and talking to him, nothing has changed about him and it reaffirmed that I don’t want him or to be with him, helping me to close the chapter and let go. I still love him, love him deep in my heart, but the timing is off for both of us, not headed in the same directions of life. I wished him well and I will keep him in my prayers, I feel great. I truly believe it was all in God’s plan to allow me the closure I needed to move on with my life, the closure I have been praying for, an ending and a healing.

Good bye R.O.W, I pray for you and I wish you well in life….

Friday, March 17, 2006

A glorious morning

It was a beautiful morning; I went outside with the kids to take them to school, on Fridays I take them early. We went outside and noticed two cardinals flying around; they were beautiful, vibrant red. As we watched we noticed two more and then two more and they were flying, chasing one another to the different trees. It was an amazing thing to see. Never in my life have I seen that many cardinals together and then to have them so close fling circles around us was truly a gift from God. It started my morning off perfectly. Of course the kids were yelling about good luck and it was our St. Patty’s Day gift!! J What a way to start the day and the weekend. It’s one of those moments you wish you could capture on camera, but the beauty and the experience of it wouldn’t have shown through.

Friday, March 10, 2006


Well, life is good and I am so happy. I am happy then I have been in a long time. I am so relieved to be done with all the stress of the babies’ daddy, for the time anyway. On Tuesday I had my court date for custody of my kids. I went to the mediator a few weeks prior and after meeting with her she didn’t think it would be in our best interest to try and resolve things with her but to go to court. This was based off of emails and messages I provided to her, along with the fact he was a no show.

So, I have been anticipating and playing in my head how this would all go down, since the Devil has told me that he would fight me tooth and nail for custody if I fought for it for years, so I never foloowed through. I figured we would be in and out of court for months fighting and debating, a waste of my time, because I know I am the better more fit parent for my daughters’.

The night before I went to see the ex (MF) and hung out with him til the wee hours of the morning to keep my mind off of what was going down in the morning at 10. I had a wonderful evening with him, better then expected. So, that was really nice and he can be truly great when I need him to be. I drove home and slept in as late as possible so that I would get to the court house right at 10, not thinking that I might have a hard time parking and I did.

Arriving at the courthouse I was shaking going in there, the Devil and I haven’t spoken in years and I haven’t responded to his nasty calls or emails recently and now I would come face to face with him if he showed. The other Baby Momma, one of my best friends informed me he knew about it and mentioned missing the first date, so I figured he would be there.

I found the room and went in, traffic court, what???? Turned out our cases wouldn’t be heard until 1030. That meant thirty LOOOOOONG minutes for me to stand in the crowed area waiting for the Devil to show up. They called us to come and he wasn’t there. I listened as they called names and woman went up and were granted sole custody of their children, YEAH, I couldn’t wait be called and then he walked in the door, late none the less. He didn’t look at me and went and sat down. The judge pointed at him and asked him for his case name and we were called up there. I went up first even though he was sitting in front of me. I was feeling like I was going to puke right there in the court room. He asked us our names and roles in my daughters’ lives and then asked, “Devil, do you have any objections to this petition for sole custody.” And I didn’t even look his way, I didn’t hear anything come out of his mouth, but I believe he shook his head no and next thing I know the judge said, “Sole custody granted in the favor of ME, you will receive your paper work in the next couple weeks”. I WAS SO HAPPY!!! I just said thank you and got out of there as quick as I could before anything else could be said. He followed behind me and I never turned back, I guess he went one way and I went the other!!!! I called the other baby momma as soon as I got in the car!!!


Thursday, March 02, 2006

This is how the "little one's" get down

I know, I know I am late, but I have been so busy. A few weeks ago, my daughters' school had a Valentine Dance for all the kids. The girls had a BLAST and so did I, I am glad I went with them. I only embarassed them a little, but that is cause they were sticking to my side and I told them to go, so when they didn't I started to dance and Ty says, Mommmm, you look like Grandma, please stop", oh gosh, what am I becoming.....Maxine Jr. in the flesh. That's a different topic entirely, but here are some pics from that night.

So, these are the sets of twins, awwww. T and T have had their eyes on these two since the first grade, it was so funny to see how they behaved around each other, great stuff for Mom, I know next year though in middle school I will be keeping an eye on those four

Here they are with their best friend dancing their hearts out. Yes, it freaks me out, completely.

This one priceless, I just happened to be looking for them and I found them alright, just in time to snap the camera and catch them "gettin' low"!
My baby looks so grown-up, Clussy don't even think about taking her to the club!!!!!!!