What a morning....

So, my day started off crazy and only continued from there. First of all I had dreams of my ex, the bad one “R”, all night. Every time I woke up from the dream and went back to sleep it was a new dream, but he was in them all of them. The dreams weren’t bad; in fact they were nice and made me wake up sad missing him. Of course I had to smack myself first thing to remind myself why I don’t really miss him, more bad then good, more bad then good, I have to keep telling myself this. I cried in my sleep cause I was so happy to be in his arms and when I woke up the pillow was soaked, that sucks. Needless to say I didn’t sleep much last night, I mean getting myself back to sleep after each time I woke up was not easy. So, I debated in staying home sick, cause on top of that my throat hurt and I was all congested, but I made myself get up and dragged my butt to work like a good little girl and today is the last day of the pay period too.

So, then I get to work and I open my email, a few from friends, so I start going through them. One is from my friend’s husband, who yes is also my friend. We do lots of things in groups so we all hang out and get close. I have also corresponded with him occasionally through email when we are planning things. So, anyway, yesterday afternoon I got a crazy email from him saying “Just wanted to say Hi and I am thinking about you”, well okay that was nice. I didn’t think anything of it and said thanks and something referring to his wife and kids. This morning I got an email stating very clearly that feelings are being felt and dreams are being had, so now I am totally uncomfortable. There were other things in the email, but that is how it ended. So, I of course responded to the other things first and thought very carefully how to respond to that. I think I did a good job and he thanked me for my objective opinion and keeping it real, so I think that is taken care of. What a way to start the morning, I mean all of this is before 0830.

So, I continue going through email and get an email from a different friend that says he and his wife are separating, WHAT!!!! I don’t know his wife, but as we were talking yesterday I mentioned, not knowing anything, you are a really good father and your wife is so lucky to have a man like you. Talk about putting your foot in your mouth, but seriously, I had no idea. He sent the email about ten minutes after our conversations o I felt bad about that.

Then, this is all before 0900, I get another email from a co-worker regarding a very sensitive issue with kids, poor thing, so I stop and pray for her and the others and decide I can’t take anymore.

Here we are at the end of my day and it has seemed to go smooth since I have buried myself in my work and nothing else for the remainder of my day, but what a crazy start that sucked the energy right out of me. I can’t wait to leave in 5 minutes and sit in the traffic on 95!!!!!

SNOW....I love it

Look at my precious baby Ci, she went down all by herself, thanks to her Auntie, her Momma didn't see until the pictures came back, oops!! She loved it though, can't you see it on her face??? No???


I love the snow and I still love to get out on the sled with the kids and go down the big hills. During our “big” snow this year I took the kiddies over to a neighborhood close by where they have two big hills that run in to one another. We were there for about two hours, maybe more and had a blast. There is a little hill in front of our house, but it doesn’t compare to the one we went too. I loved it and it was great for the kids too. We all slept good that night. Check us out:
Look how cute and cold my kids are!!!
T and T try to hold hands down the big hill, crazy kids, at one point all four tried to go down together, it was funny, so funny I didn't get the pic when they all flew off.
Check me out and my girls right behind me! I built a little jump for them, it was great.

OHMIGOSH, is that who I think it is????

I always had a feeling it would happen and depending on where I am headed in the neighborhood, I sometimes prepare myself.............................. I WASN'T READY THIS TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I wasn't ready at all and thank GOD for Aimee who got me through it w/o anything for me to regret today.
Wake up to everything white from all the snow. I throw on clothes and head out to the yard with the rest of the fam to take pics of the kids playing in the snow and sledding. After a hour or so I ask Aimee to go check out the roads with me and I wanted to get the Bambi II for the kids, so we head to Target. We are on a mission to stick to the plan and only get what we went in there for, but as usual we start walking around, the store is EMPTY and quiet, we both comment on that. We headed back to the boy's section to see if they still had the clearance snow pants. So, I see a little boy, and look up at Daddy and it's Rob(my ex's brother), I look immediately at Aimee to say "Let's go" and by the time I turned to her I could see the look on her face and she had already seen him as well. We both just kinda walked a way. So, as we are walking I look down an isle and who do I see Ry(my ex, the ex I haven't spoke to since our fight last summer, the one I love dearly and haven't gotten over yet, the one that has got me all FU%^ed up and has had me that way for a while now), so I stop. Aimee was still walking and stopped fast when she realized I stopped and was staring down the aisle, I just looked at her and mouthed Ryan. You would have thought I saw a ghost. So, she gives me a stern look and tells me to come on, I argue with her, NO and keep looking at him. He doesn't even know I am there, or appears not to, very focused on whatever he is trying to find. It takes all of my will power to take steps and walk away, not to run and jump in to his arms. As I am walking away I see out of the corner of my eye (I have great peripheral vision) him glance at me and I keep walking. So, Aimee keeps talking to me coaxing me along, telling me he's not worth it and I don't want to go back, I am so much better off, all the right things a friend says to you when you are about to make a huge mistake. We head towards the check out line and I forgot to get Bambi II, so I go grab it and than as I am walking back to the line, I see him again, in a big area in plain open view. I look for the eyes of strength, Aimee's to will me to her and she does, she physically comes to get me and keep me from looking. We walk to the furthest line from them and I am now about to fall out, I feel sick, dizzy, I can't breathe. We check out and as soon as we get out the door I grab and cigarette and light it up. I am in shock at this point. I am in complete shock, I just stand there, and Aimee yells to me to get in the truck. I ask her to just sit there for a minute so I can see if he is coming out and like a good friend, she does. She is so patient and waits til I am ready to leave all the time encouraging me and reminding me why I am not with him and don't want to be.
All I can say is THANK GOD for best friends and having there when you need them, also for there strength to pull you through no matter how they know you much they know you are hurting, but staying focused on you and what's best instead of giving in to the pain and hurt all over your face.
Thanks Aimee, thank you so much, thank you for the whole day and keeping me straight and being patient and understanding and sensitive, not smacking the crap out of me when I wanted to go the other way. I love you so much and I am BLESSED you were by my side!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Awakening

Last night was an eye opener in our household for the grown-ups. The kids have a Valentine dance today at school and the girls’ have been really excited about it. Last Friday, Ty was asked by three boys to go to the dance and that was funny. She explained to me that she already told one of them no because he is weird, but she kinda like the other two, my response to that was, “See how easy it was for you to tell the first boy No, it will be just as easy to tell the other No too”. She wasn’t extremely happy with that response, but took it with a grain of salt. Later I talked to her and here is how it went:

Me: Ty, at what age do you think you should be able to have a boyfriend, because you do know that you aren’t allowed to have one now, right?
Ty: Yes, Mom, I don’t want a boyfriend now, it’s just a dance. Ummmmm (thinking about my original question) When I am 13 right?
Me: Oh FU%$ NO (just kidding that’s what I wanted to say) Baby, that’s still too young, I mean that’s in less than two years. So, do you want me to tell you the age?
Ty: Yes (like whateva Mom)
Me: 17, by that time you will be more mature and able to date.
Ty: 17, Maaaaaaahhhhhhom, are you serious, how about 15
ME: If you have straight A’s than we’ll talk about it, but don’t even come to me talk to me if that isn’t the case, deal!
Ty: Deal, but what if I get a B after I have a boyfriend, what happens
Me: Well, you won’t have a boyfriend anymore if you aren’t 17 yet, you can tell him you need to take a “break”, until your grades are up.
Ty: Buuuuttttttttttt Mom, that’s not fair
Me: And what does Mommy always tell you, “Life’s
Ty: Not fair, well , okay, than it’s a deal.

After that I just had to sit and think about what I just agreed too, what was I thinking??? I don’t want my babies to be like I was or go through what I went through at such an early age. I don’t want the focus to be boys like it was for me, I would rather it be sports or school work, I guess that’s what every mother wants, huh? Not realistic, but I will try my hardest to make that a reality.

So, back to last night, the Ty and Hannah were talking about what they were going to wear and who they hoped went, blah, blah, blah and out of no where, Tricia asks to get her hair done, WTF, come on. So, I told her I didn’t have money and she said she would use hers just like Ty did, but she really wants to get it done, a boy asked her too. So, I call their stylist and she is out sick, call her cell and she says if I can get her in tomorrow by 5 she will be ready by the dance. So, at this point all three girls are all giddy and EJ (the boy of the house) says, “I don’t want to go”, Aim and I tell him he doesn’t have to and we head to Target to get the girls shirts to wear with jeans (yeah to jeans and not skirts). So, a couple hours later when we return and show the girls their new clothes and settle in to watch OC and do hair, EJ asks Aim if she has a clip on tie, what, she tells him no, why and now he wants to go to the dance. About 30 minutes later he asks Daddy to cut his hair and Sean jumps at that opportunity, the boy has needed a haircut for a few weeks now. So, now he wants to go too, we asked the girls if they had anything to do with him changing his mind, but they said No, all they were doing was talking about how excited they were to go.

So, at the end of the day all four kids are going to the dance and are excited ages 7-11 and us grown-ups have a new awakening about our babies and them not so much being babies anymore.

Musically Diverse

So, in honor of my other daughter joining us in Womanhood, we celebrated her with a lunch at Bennigan’s on Sat. with all the girls. She seemed very happy although her twin was not. She didn’t think she should have a lunch yet as she really hasn’t gotten her period cause it didn’t come the second month around and to quote her, “and she’s not even bleeding like I AM!!!!!!!!!!!” poor girl.

Anyway, I know my daughters’ are very diverse in many different aspects, but I think musically is the funniest. So, Ty gets a salsa CD from Clussy with one song in particular that she loves. She has listened to it many times with Cluss and even memorized the words in Spanish. So, we played the cd on the way home and than the next day in the car with twins and cousins. It was hilarious to see the look on their cousins faces as these two belted it out in their most precious voices “La Quiero, la quireo, la quireo, la quireo, la quireo, la quireoooooooooooooooooooooooooo”. So, we listened to a couple other songs and than the other kids had enough. So, I said each one can chose one song and than we move on.

I noticed my girls have a huge array of cd’s and music taste all across the board and I love it.

I thank all my friends that spend time with them and sing in the car with them to exposing them to new songs and styles of music, it is a blessing.

WHY WHY WHY

Why, Why, Why ? (I highlighted the great ones that I can relate too)

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?

Why does someone! believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance? (This one had me cracking up, I do this, why)

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

And my FAVORITE......
The statistics on sanity's are that one out of every four persons are suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you (It is me, huh guys???)