Are two really any different then one

I have so enjoyed every moment with my girls, even the rough ones, and as they grow the time with them seems to grow more and more enjoyable. We can actually do things together and have fun together. Anyone who has kids should understand what I am getting at. Twins, every time I tell someone I have TWINS, they look at me in amazement and then comment something negative like, “Poor thing” or “Must be so hard”, which pisses me off. I mean if you only have twins and never had a singleton, do you really know any different. It’s kinda like I attribute my singleparenthood…if I were married when I had my girls and then separated, I might understand what it is like to have someone, but I wasn’t and I don’t. Of course I imagine it would be easier to some level, but then again, I imagine it to be more complicated too. When I think about when my little angels were tiny and try to come up with what was hard I think, #1 buying two of everything and then carrying two of everything. Two car seats, two monitors (heart monitors they were on for the first years, almost the same size as a diaper bag) and then the diaper bag, not a cute little one, a BIG one, because again you have two.

Anyway, I have had it easy, I guess, I don’t know any different or have anything to compare it to. When I try to think of moments that were horrible none really come to mind, ok one, but that’s it. One night when they were still tiny little things, Ty was on Albuterol (sp) and was crying nonstop. I meaning screaming crying like someone was hurting her. Meanwhile Tricia was having a night too and was CRYING, a lot. So, the two of them were screaming at the tops of their little lungs and I couldn’t comfort either of them to calm them down. A couple of hours had passed and I couldn’t take it anymore, put them in their crib and closed the door and went outside on the balcony for about 20 minutes. When I went back in Tricia had fallen asleep and Ty was still screaming, so I called the drs. And they tell me the people put the wrong dose or something any way turns out it was like if I gave my little baby some crack. She had no control over her energy filled body. They said it would last a few more hours and it did. Aside from that one night, I don’t really remember any hard times as far as they went. Now we had hard time in regards to things out of our control, like all the sickness and doctors and surgeries and hospitalizations, but nothing my precious babies did.

I remember lots of fun times with them; I remember being excited to take them on new adventures and to see new things. I also remember being excited to take them back to places they loved and wanted to go again and creating new memories with them. They are truly my little best friends. I love hanging out with them. Don’t get me wrong I have my moments of frustration, but they usually get the bad end of the stick during those moments. My frustrations aren’t because of them, I just need a minute now and again, as we all do.

So, I guess what I am trying to say is appreciate what you have and make the most of it, the situation at hand. Find all the wonderful things in that particular situation that stresses you and focus on that. For instance, when I had my girls at 27 wks, I was told they wouldn’t amount to much, one would be a vegetable and the other may walk, but with assistance. Look at my girls now, almost 12 years later and perfect, no disabilities. I think if I would have focused on what the doctors said they might not be who they are today. Instead I focused on my beautiful little babies and every moment that was pure and priceless. I received an email from a lady that read my story on March of Dimes share –a-story website and it gave me strength and my beliefs and my faith. Here is the letter:

Thank you so much for sharing pictures of your girls with me...I could not
express to you how much it did to me..to put a face to PVL....I just cannot
beleive how good your girls look and it is so nice to see them so happy and
healthy and doing things that every child should do. Again, thank you.
You are right. I will make a conscious effort not to do any more searches on
the net. It has done nothing but worry me to death.
I do really good when i am with Sophia, because honestly, she does not give
me any reason to worry...she is happy, healthy and very alert. It's really
when i am at work that i get on the net. I just finished my maternity leave
and went back to work on the 06th.
I love her and will raise her to the best of my abilities no matter what the
outcome is....so, i will keep my head up and cuddle with her and love her to
death, as i have been doing..:))

Have a great day and thank you again!