The Amazing story of how we met, the ex "More" and I

Back in 1999 on my daughters’ fifth birthday I was pregnant with another set of twins. The doctors had already told me about a week before that I most likely would not carry them and miscarry. On the evening of my girls’ bday I started to bleed. I was terrified and upset and I got on the internet to see what was happening and if I needed to do anything. Up until this point, after the miracles of my daughters’, I didn’t really listen to what the doctors said and was in denial about losing the babies.

I hopped on the net to investigate what was happening and all of these people are IMing me, clicking them off and staying focused on reading everything I can pull up. I am sitting in my desk chair crying and an IM comes through, I have an overwhelming feeling as if God has sent this angel to me and I go with it. (My faith is very strong and I don’t ever second guess when I think God is talking to me) So, I start chatting with this stranger and with in an hour my tears are now laughter and I have kinda pushed the whole situation out of my mind. I am having one of the best conversations with a stranger and feel completely comfortable as if I were chatting with my best friend. I don’t know anything about him other than he makes me laugh and we seem to have a lot in common and good communication skills with each other. That first night we chatted for 5-6 hours, never asking each other any questions about identity, just enjoying company.

A week goes by and I think about him every day and then we chat again, this time until I have to get in the shower to go to work. We make plans to meet later that night to chat some more. Still no talk of what the other looks like, age or anything.

After a few more nights of chatting the question finally comes, because at this point I think we both realized there is a strong connection. As for me, I didn’t even care, because already this is someone I called “Friend” and the physical means nothing. I respond and type, “blue eyes, blond hair, and thick.” His reaction, “Your white”, very funny, we still laugh about that. So, then we find out there is only 45 minutes between us. WOW!! I ask him to tell me about himself, but he doesn’t, so I still have no idea and don’t really care. We decide our next conversation will be on the phone. I guess we got on the phone somewhere between 10-11 and were on until 630 the next morning. We did this a few nights and decided to meet.

I am so nervous, never done this kind of thing before. I call all my friends and tell them I am going to meet him and we are planning to go see a movie. I don’t have a cell phone at the time. I let my roommate (Marsha) know if I am not home by this time, call the police. At this point I didn’t even know his real name. Yes, I am crazzzzy.

We meet at Potomac Mills Mall. We chose the front main entrance to meet. He ask me what I will be wearing and I tell him; jeans, white shirt and black boots. To this he says, “Oh, like every other white girl in the mall”, I ask him to tell me what he will have on and he says” if the connection between us is the way you think, you will know me when I walk through the door.” Now, up until this point I know nothing other than he is black and he has told me several different heights and weights to get a reaction form me, which he didn’t, cause I told him I didn’t care. When he decides not to share any info with me I let him know it will be easy to find me cause I will be the girl with a the guys around her because I will be smiling at everyone that walks through the door. Still didn’t give up any info!!!!

I get ready, nervous and running around like crazy I never paid attention to the time and now am not sure what time we said we would meet. So, I head to the mall and wait and wait and wait, feels like forever, but realistically, was about 20 minutes. I call Marsh from the near by pay phone to see if he has called and chat with her, she is scared for me too, and in walks the man of my dreams. I am praying this is him, but in my head I am thinking there is no way, cause he is beautiful. So, I smile, and when we catch eyes, I know it’s him. I drop the phone, grab it back up and all I can say is “OH MY GOD” and then hang up. So, we walk to each other, everything feels like slow motion. We greet with a nice bug hug and check one another out, it seems like we are both fairly content. We talk for a minute, laugh about the whole crazy thing and head towards the movies. The movie doesn’t start for about 30 minutes, but we go in and hang out. I am still amazed at how good he looks.

He was a gentleman the entire night, even gave me his jacket when I was cold in the movies, didn’t try anything funny. After the movie was over though, we had to walk outside through the parking lot (very dark and secluded) to our cars back out front. I was so nervous at this point, eeeeeekkk. So, I ask him what is full name is and he gives up the goods.

Crazy thing: His first and last names are the same names I chose when I was younger in reverse for a baby boy if I had one. That was so weird to me and of course when I told him he didn’t believe me. I think he still doesn’t to this day. I am sure it is written somewhere from 1989 when I decided that.

We get to our cars safely and I go sit in his with him so he can drive me to mine, I check the time and we are getting close to time for Marsh to call the police. I am not ready for the night to end though. He asks me if I want to go get something to eat, of course. I borrowed his cell phone and called home and let them know I was okay and I wouldn’t be home anytime soon, but not to worry.

Over food it all comes out. I ask him what made him IM me, cause for me it was just so bizarre how it went down and what I was going through. He tells me it’s kinda crazy. He asks me questions and although we haven’t talked about religion up to this point I decide to put it all out there. I tell him I was miscarrying and when he IMed me I felt like God was sending me an Angel and he did. I told him how I clicked everyone off and only talked to him and it was wonderful. So, then he shares the goods, “When I was just scrolling through names, I came across yours and I felt a similar feeling like I needed to know you.” this was the first time we held hands, sorta, across the table. I think we both knew at that moment we would be friends for life and God had brought us together for a reason.

At the end of the night when were in the parking lot at my car, I wanted to kiss him, wow, I remember that feeling like it was yesterday, but I was so nervous. Before him I had been with my previous Boyfriend “Ex 2/ Less” for 5+ years. So, this was all so new to me like the first time. He leaned over and held my hand and sweetly asked, “Can I kiss you?” Awwwwww, “Yes!!!!!!!!”

And here we are still the best of friends since 1999. We dated off and on for three years, the off and on was all me and I hurt him time and time again, but the last time when I really said it was over, it was and he was not good for a looooooong time. I have always told him though I believe, really and truly, we are soul mates and I am sure those of my friends who have seen us together can testify.

The other funny thing to this story, he is a native New Yorker, born and raised in Brooklyn and until that point had never dated a "White" girl. :) Haaaaaaa!!!!!