Moments I want to remember...

Thursday, September 15, 2005

Is it Love???????????????


Last night I talked to my ex 1, "More" and I am just not sure with the feelings I feel and what to do with them. There is a whole amazing story about how we met and I will write that up, but even now, after being apart for 2 years we continue to have this amazing connection and friendship. A little history, when we were dating we were like two peas in a pod, best friends. We new what the other was going to do and we completed the others’ sentences, all the time, this wasn’t a freak thing. We would stay up n the phone, at least nights out of the week, for hours. When I say hours I mean 4-6 hours of talking on the phone regularly. This went on for the entire three years we dated off and on (my issues). So, the last two years have been kinda weird, it took him a awhile to really talk to me again w/o bringing up all the pain/hurt/devastation I caused him, but I think now we have passed that. When I broke up with him I started dating a guy, went out on one date and he moved in, so Ex was caught off completely immediately. Moving along, we have been talking on a regular basis again, not like before, but at least once a month for almost a year and last night, well we were on the phone for three hours. I can’t even tell you what we talked about, except, at one point we reminisced about a lot of our memories and laughed, hard. When I hung up I had that feeling that I used to have when were we dating and I missed him. I know he still has love for me and he knows I still love him, but I have hurt him so many times that, well, I don’t know. He has been the ONE man in my life I have always felt completely comfortable with, 100% natural and last night I felt that and it was refreshing to just talk. We have hung out a few times (nothing’s happened), but there has always remained that uncomfortable feeling in the air of “You hurt me bitch” even if he didn’t express it. I know I am not ready to jump in to any type of relationship right now, focusing on ME, but it was so nice to have my friend back, one that I love and can share anything with and be Me.


  • Mr. Flava seems to bring out good vibes in you, he always has. I think it's important for you to just focus on your friendship though and try not to get too caught up in the nostalgia and emotions that were so strong before. I'm glad you guys are able to talk and laugh together at the end of the day.

    BTW, what ever happened to G going to Barb's BBQ w/you??? I forgot about that till just now.

    By Blogger Claudette, At 9:20 AM  

  • Oh, oops, my bad, I couldn't find his number and than when he called I was on my way out the door. And there is no way he was going to drive 2 hours to hang out. He did make it clear though that he wants us to get together, maybe this weekend since I am not making plans, I will holla at him.

    By Blogger Harmony, At 10:26 AM  

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