Moments I want to remember...

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Lord, get me out of this FUNK

I don’t know what is going on with me but I am in this funk and can’t seem to pull myself out. There is nothing going on in my life that I can say “Oh this is it”. I have just been feeling BLAH and depressed. I hate it and I want out, but if I don’t know what’s causing it, how in the hell am I suppose to pull myself out of it? It’s so frustrating. I tried to sit down last night and make a list of all my little stresses and I can only think that all of them together are causing me this angst. I think once I move and get settled in my new place and get in to a routine I will start to feel much better, but when will that be.

Stress causers in no particular order of importance:

1. Money- I am broke, I know who isn’t
2. Halloween is coming quick and I still haven’t finished one daughters costume or bought the others.
3. Kids started new school, need to buy all new supplies, have a field trip this week that for both of them cost $62
4. Kids have to walk ¾ of a mile to and from school each day and I am just not cool with that, it’s a long time for them to be out there in the street and I don’t know how I am going to work my schedule out to be able to take them with rain and winter coming, it’s not fair to expect them to endure that, SUCKS.
5. My daughters’ have moved in to the new place and I haven’t and I miss them, it’s only been a day.
6. I need to start packing and just want to lay in bed.
7. My daughters’ birthday is right around the corner and I haven’t got any presents for them yet- $$$$$$$$$$$$$
8. Christmas is right around the corner- $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
9. I have to PACK!!! I have to PACK!!! I have to PACK!!!!!!
10. I am not sleeping good at night, maybe two hours straight through and I am so tired in the morning
11. I am unmotivated to do anything

Now, last night as I was laying in my bed praying and thanking God for all of my blessings and wonderful things in my life, I realize that I am sooooo blessed and it out weighs those few things above that are just a torn in my side really, so why can’t I just feel normal and happy? Why do I continue to want to mope around and wallow, why do I feel so depressed? I have so many wonderful things/people in my life that I am thankful for and I know God has always taken care of me and I have NEVER wanted or needed for anything, in one way or another everything always works out just as it should in God’s plan and I believe in that and I know from experience after experience that it never fails. I trust in God and I continue to put my life in His hands and trust that whatever happens is how it is meant to be and it always is positive, SO WHY AM I FEELING LIKE THIS??????

3 Comments:

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    By Anonymous Anonymous, At 11:48 AM  

  • "This too will pass" ? Can we make that apply and believe it?

    I know what you need. A day w/Home Base, oui?

    If we didn't have to work to support our lives/lifestyles, we'd have so much more time to be able to do some 'centering' together. Or if you moved out closer to me. ;-)

    You have always been blessed though and luckily for you, things just always work themselves out in your life, usually at last minute but regardless, they do. I guess you're just tested often. A++

    By Blogger Claudette, At 10:40 AM  

  • You know...sometimes Funk can be good. "Give it up fool for Funk!"

    You need a little James Brown and George Carlin for some Funktastic Fun.

    By Blogger MG, At 10:20 AM  

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