Moments I want to remember...

Ms. Harmony

2009-01-09T18:45:00.002-05:00

Words to my MOST favorite song in the world, which if I didn't know any better was written for ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Funny, it's time...Things ain't going right, oh harmony...Don't know how you get by!Feels like frozen timeYou wake up the moment into your surpriseYou got hope and you're alrightYou're so close and you're so tightWhen the ice melts so right,You got a sparkle, babyShe says you need to be afraidYou see... age don't matterNot you see, it's never to late'Cause when you feel love, Ms HarmonyOh, you deserve everything you dream'cause when you smile at me, ooh harmonyHeh, you light all the world with your energyOh, babyYou walk with your head highYou only take what's right, oh harmony...I know just what you need.New job, a brand new carIt feels like you're going far, oh harmony...You're a flower in bloomOut with the old, in with the newWalk away from what all those men did to youNow you're light on your feetAnd now every man touch their head, to get a better look'Cause when you feel love, Ms HarmonyOh, you deserve everything you dream'cause when you smile at me, ooh harmonyHeh, you light all the world with your energyOh, babyDa da da daOhh, ehhDa da da daOooo, ohhh yeah'Cause when you feel love, ooo HarmonyYou deserve everything you dream'cause when you smile at me, ooo harmonyHeh, you light all the world with your energyOh, babyDa da da daDa da da daCause when you feel that your loving, oh Harmony come love me tonight

Random Questions: Tag your it

2008-12-30T00:08:00.003-05:00

Nunus, Mish, Bug, Trish....TAG!!!!!!!!! I do have so much more to blog about but this was easier.

50 things Tag!!
1.What color is your tooth brush? Purple
2. Did you dream last night? yes
3. What is your favorite candy bar? Snickers
4. Have you ever been to a strip club? yes
5. What is the last thing you said aloud? Girls go to bed
6. What is the best ice cream flavor? Reese’s Pnut butter
7. What is the last thing you had to drink? Water
8. What are you wearing right now? Sweats and a tee
9. What was the last thing you ate? Gummy life savers
10. Have you bought any new clothing items this week? Nope
11. When was the last time you ran? today
12. Who was the last person to send you a message/comment on your blog? I dunno
13. Do you take vitamins daily? No but I probably should.
14. Do you go to church every Sunday? No, but I plan to start
15. Do you have a tan? are you kiddin
16. Do you like Chinese food over pizza? heck no!!!
17. Do you drink soda with a straw? nope
18. What does your last text message say? Getting ready to go to the gym
19. Are you someones best friend? Lots, I think
20. What are you doing tomorrow? Hopefully going to the zoo
21. Where is your dad? I wish I knew
22. Look to your left, what do you see? No one
23. What color is your favorite pair of shoes? White and pink
24. Do you use chap stick? Of course
25. Whats your favorite thing to do in your free time? Hang out with my kids and friends, Scrapbook and look through pics
26. Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive thru? Both
27. Do you have a dog? No
28. Last guy you talked on the phone with? Gary
29. Last girl you talked on the phone with? Barbie
30. Any fun vacation plans soon? Maybe NC
31. Do you dye your hair? YUP
32. Can you say the alphabet backwards? Yes but very slowly
33. Do you have a maid service clean your house? yes
34. Are you jealous of anyone? No, I don’t think so, maybe those who have jobs right now
35. Do you love anyone? Yes, lots of peoples
36. Do any of your friends have children? Yes
37. Do you use the word Hello daily? yes
38. Do you like cats? Love them
39. Have you ever been to Six Flags? yes
40. How did you get your worst scar? Having babies
41. What is your favorite smell? ORANGE
42. What is the last DVD you watched? Horton hear a Who
43. Have you ever been to Disney World? Nope.
44. What is your favorite number? 3
45. Do you toast your pop tarts? yes
46. Have you ever waited tables? Bennigans
47. Where did you have your first kiss? In the woods LOL
48. What should you be doing? Going to sleep
49. Do you enjoy wasting time blogging? I wish I was more motivated to waste time doing it
50. How many blogs to you contribute to? I dunno

Life

2008-12-05T07:47:00.003-05:00

I hate when I am soooooooooooooo busy I have no time to write, I really don't like it. I am going to figure out how to fix this, by the end of THIS year. Otherwise I am only going to be posting on my W.W. and this blog will be nuttin but pics.

So, Mish, Bug and I have been havin routine coffee on Sat. mornings in a central location and it has been great, minus the jinx we have had put on us. I love starting my Sat. mornings with these two and just sitting huddle around a lil Starbucks table talkin about NOTHING and EVERTHING!!! and When we meet we are there for HOURS which is also great so everyone gets a chance to chime in, since we have issues with this, and unload!!! :) The only BAD thing about our meeting is the last two, two of us got hit with CAR problems. BOOOOOOOOOOO. Hopefully Buggy has put a stop to this since she was the one due next for issues by not waiting until Sat. to recognize a problem and getting her car fixed in the middle of the week. Cause we have all decided these are becoming some EXPENSIVE coffees. I think between the 3 of us we are close to $1200. STUPID!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So we are not meeting this Sat. :( I am sad!

I am also on the prowl for a new car which is stressing me out. I have never bought a NEW car and not only that EVERY car I have EVER had has been passed down to me or chosen for me. I sat and thought about that the other day because WHAT kind of car do I want. I am not a car person what so ever. I don't car about what it looks like or even the color. Can it get me from A to B, that's what matters to me and is it Safe. Those are my requirements and from those I trust that I have talked to that is just not enough information. So I guess i have some research to do and some serious thinkin too. YUCK!! I think it is just easier for someone to pick the car and say here it is...it's yours!!!

I miss my doggy MORE and MORE each day!!!! When I open the door after work I expect her to come sliding at me with her tail wagging and mouth hanging open cause she is SOOOO excited to see me and she is NOT there!!! I know she is soooo happy and being well taken care of and I did the right thing for her but I miss her like crazy!!!!! I keep thinking about taking the new owners up on there offer to go see her but I know in my heart that is probably not a good idea.

I am ALMOST done Christmas shopping, YEAH!!! and thank goodness since I just shelled out all my money for the freakin car. I have a few gifts left to buy but just a few and I am okay with that. What I need to do is start wrapping. I guess I will start dedicating some time to wrapping, but that means I need to get the tree out huh!!!!

I am loking forward to the holidays and time with my family/friends. I am excited about the cool weather even though I cringe in the mornings. I look more forward to the new year and pray these times will get better, pray we will not be as stressed and pray we can enjoy each other and the relationships we have and not focus so much on the MONEY/PRESENTS. Some said to me recently, I love Thanksgiving, I wish Christmas were more like it and I have to agree. It would be soooooo wonderful if we focused on BEING with the people we love and being excited about that and not all the material that Christmas comes with. Unfortunately it is embedded in us and it is a hard thing to turn around, tradition, but I think it is something I would like to try to bring more focus too, just bring together, being happy and healthy and appreciating the love that surrounds us!!! HOMEMADE gifts for everyone next year, get creative. (ummmm Princess T, that means I would like a blankey, k?!)

It's Friday and I am HAPPY!!!!!!!! I am taking my girls to see the Nutcracker tonight! I can't wait!!!! They have never seen it and neither have I. My Mommy comes home from FL tomorrow and I think I will put up the tree. Sunday will be time spent with my girls and their sisters. Happy Friday!

W.W. Then and Now - pics from reunion

2008-12-03T09:00:00.000-05:00

EVERYONE that came!!!!!!

Then: 1992

Then: 1990

Now

Then: 1992

Now

Then: 1993??? maybe 1992

Now

And we are doing it again in a few weeks. I can't wait!

W.W. random

2008-11-26T08:09:00.006-05:00

Just looking through pics I have saved in a folder...

How many pics of these two I have like this, I guess you can never have to many!!!!

I think I was 15 in this pic...what am I wearing??? AND WHY did I think I was fat then????

Lil Me!!!! I think I was four.

My Mommy!!!!!!! I love her!!!!! (why does she always look surprised in pics, she would tell you it's cause I remind her to OPEN her eyes.

Almost a year ago...seems like a month ago.....where did the year go??? (if I blogged more maybe I would know.)

At the zoo.......I love these girls!!!!

This pic just brings a smile to my face it also shows me why I invested a million dollars to put braces on my babies. HAA HAAA HAAA

Awwwwwwwww...summer...I miss you...and you to Nunus!!!

Just laugh cause it's funny!!!

TAKE ME BACK THERE.......someone???anyone??? PLEASE!!!

Family Day at the Park!

This is BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!!! HAPPINESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy Thanksgiving

2008-11-26T08:00:00.002-05:00

May your stuffing be tasty
May your turkey plump,
May your potatoes and gravy
Have never a lump.
May your yams be delicious
And your pies take the prize,
And may your Thanksgiving dinner
Stay off your thighs!
Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!!

Hee heee, this made me giggle!!!

Where to start...........and giving thanks

2008-11-25T07:48:00.003-05:00

I don't even know where to begin so much has happened since I last blogged and when was that, hmmmmmmmmmmm, I don't know an I should have checked so I don't repeat. Oh well I am to lazy. I am also suppose to be planning my second High-School reunion but that requires work too. The first one was a HUGE success and I am pattin myself on the back cause I was a lil nervous about how it would turn out. I will share some pics tomorrow, again requires work and I am not really up for that.

My girls are 14 officially for a few weeks now and they haven't turned in to monsters, YEAH! I am thankful for this blessing!!!

I found a new home for my Baby Doggie and I am sad. :( She is happy though and that is what matters to me. I am so thankful for this blessing...and Craigslist!

One of my best friends moved and in to her OWN place with her husband and family and I am so thankful for that blessing.

My bestest friend is coming for the holidays and I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO thankful and excited. Especially since I cried from missing her so much this past Sat. Thank you!!!!

I reunited with friends I haven't seen since 91-92....and it was like no time had passed between us. We shared memories and good times and talked about growing up....most of us have kids that were our ages when we met and were sweatin big time as we reminisced. I am thankful for rekindled friendships, it is indeed a blessing.

I bought a new camera, with 12x zoom, cause I NEED it!!!! Funny how many people tried to make claims on my other camera, duh, NOOOOOOOOOOOOO way!!! It is my favorite and this one will really only be used for long distance occasions. I love my camera, LOVE LOVE LOVE it (the original, not the new one) The new one is to big to carry around in my purse anyway. I am thankful that I was able to save the money to buy and then actually buy it. Being able to purchase a present for myself is a blessing!!!!

I am thankful for many more things because I am soooooooooooo blessed however I could be here all day writing about them and never get the second reunion planned. Hopefully I can get some pics uploaded for W.W.

THANK YOU JESUS for all my blessings and all the love that surrounds me everyday!

listening and learning

2008-10-30T08:07:00.004-04:00

I hate trying to come up with a title when I just want to write what I want to write and be done. Maybe I should just write and not even think about the title and then go back to it after writing.

So I have not been good about sticking with my initative to stay on top of this blog thing this week. I mean here it is Thursday, YEAH!!!!! Thursday again, already, how do the weeks keep flying by and when will it slow down. It seems I miss alot of the week but Thursdays they seem to stick out for me and maybe because it's one day before Friday and I love Fridays even if I have to be at work for 8 hours, which I don't hate. I enjoy coming to work and I am thankful for that.

Soooooooooooooooo...back to where i just wanted to write. Lots has been going on and my mind is racing and I am overwhelmed to a certain point with life, or maybe just other peoples lives, not really my own. My life, well, it is good and I am happy and my kids are wonderful, although they can do better in school. When people ask me how am I doing the first word that comes to mind is blessed, the second wonderful. and I know because I have had lots of how are yous this morning. My circle of friends however, it seems like lots is going on and not leaning towards wonderful. For me that is hard, one because I am a fixer, a care taker, a problem solver, a believer in this to shall pass, we WILL get through this and we can. AND...when it is one person in my circle it is okay I can take on the negative vibes and the whoa is me and HELP...when it feels like it is my whole circle, it affects me and HARD. I know I can not save the world but DAMNIT I will give it my best shot and try as hard as I can and give it my all when it comes to those around me and the people I love and care about. Reality as SMACKED me in the face that sometimes I can't do it all and I just have to pray and put all my faith in God and my friends and stand back. I am sure I have done this in the past too, but not a time that I can pull up out of my memories. Probably cause I try to ONLY store the good ones and let the bad ones go.

My, what I thought was a permenant, sleepover has ended and it is a good thing. It is neat to sit back and watch your friends grow. Not really grow up but just grow as a person and for the better. It is even better when you watch that friend figure it out on their own and then you can cheer them on and support their own strengths they have drawn from and their own ideas and solutions. I have watched a lot of my closest friends really grow in the last year or two. I have seen some incredible changes and for the better. I have watched them learn about themselves and the stregnths they have within them and when to dig deep and pull it out. I have watched them go through things and have major success come out of it all and for me it is INCREDIBLE. I love it and it warms my heart and their success are mine as much as theirs so it encourages me and fills me with positive energy and fight and I love it!!! It has also taught me many things about myself, like how much of a freaking enabler I am!!!! I soothe, I coddle, I am the one that will convince you IT will be alright, but I am also recognizing that isn't always the best, nor does it always help the person at hand, my friend. The other thing I have learned it I chose TOUGH hard ass friends who give it to me straight and maybe expect the samething in return. I also make sure I have the one friend who will take care of my soul, my feelings, my emotions, the fact that I am beyond sensative and chose her words carefully and guess what...she is the one I run to first. She also gives it to me straight and tough but with an approach I can handle and actually listen to w/o running to the corner to hide. I tried to use what I ahve learned from her and how she deals with me to deal with this last craziness of the world and I think it made a diffence. I thank her for being the incredible friend she is and a great influence on me because I think she is an incredible woman all around. I am so grateful to have her in my life and to know when I am down I can call on her. I am so blessed to call her my friend and I am so lucky to have a friend like her in my corner which gives me the stregnth to be there for my many other best friends. I trust her and I listen to her and more importantly I hear her and I am so grateful to be so blessed and lucky to have someone like her in my life..someone I KNOW and am 1000% positive has my best interest at heart all the time everytime w/o a doubt. Thank you my soul mate, my friend, thank you for all your words and all the help!!!! I love you!!!!!!!!!!!

W.W. Apple Picking on the perfect day

2008-10-22T07:53:00.004-04:00

A busy weekend that was wonderful

2008-10-21T08:25:00.004-04:00

Friday I got off work and commuted home with the guys, which is always a good time! I couldn't wait to get home and start my weekend!! YEAH! M.F. was suppose to come over and bring the girls their shoes he customed designed for them. I didn't tell them, just in case he decided not to show. I started cooking dinner and hanging out with my girls, cleaning the kitchen and Ty says.."Is M.F. coming?" I look out the window and what do you know, he is here @ like 530. The girls attack him as he walks through the door, adorning him with hugs and love. Ty slickly (is that a word, I don't think so) asks about the boxes in hand. While I go back to cooking he finally gives in and gives them their shoes. They screamed with excitement and jumped up and down, more hugs and love, more screams. You could see the excitement in their eyes. We ate dinner and hung out. It was a nice night.

The Shoes...

Saturday I slept in..made some breakfast..watched some Lifetime and headed over to J's house for a gathering of the sisters. The girls were soooo very excited to see their sisters. J bought pumpkins for them to carve also. We drove the long drive there and hung out for a few hours, it was really nice. The girls had a wonderful time together.

Sat. night Ty had a friend over and Trish stayed with her sister T.

Sunday we went apple picking, the girls and their friends and I.

Pics to come!!!!!!!! :)

Stress.....when it sneaks up on you

2008-10-14T08:14:00.004-04:00

I had a weekend...filled with fun, excitement, friends, good times, and a lil bit of stress thrown in there. Friday night Aim and I went to the Annandale H.S. Homecoming football game. We planned to have a mini reunion and watch the game. Aim came to my house after work and we hung out and then changed clothes. As we are getting ready it felt just like it did ehhhmmmm many years ago when we would get ready to go to a game. ;) It was a funny feeling and one I have found myself experiencing lots lately...with her in particular. We got to the game late...parked far away cause it was PACKED!! I don't remember it being like that and Aim brought up a good point, it's cause we used to walk to the game...parking wasn't an issue. So we met up with our former AHS friends and sat on the other side, cause it was NUTS. Aim and I purchased AHS shirts to represent on the other side in the stands. We had a great time. We went to Glory Days and ate good and talked.

Sat. was another story it started off great!! I went to meet my carpool guys so they could change my breaks, because THEY were not feeling safe. I was supposed to be Apple Picking, but they got my priorities straight and I went there instead. We had a nice time until the I hear the guys make some noises and use some words that should be while putting on breaks. I went outside and my tires are shining from across the lawn...hmmmmm...that's not normal. The insides of my tires were sooooooooooooooooooo worns that they were reflecting the sun. All I can think is, this can't be good. I have worn tires down to lil pieces of straight metal. So I went and got some tires put on and that was that.

By Monday morning I felt super guilty for being as upset as I was over something so minor with all the chaos in the world today!!!

W.W. on Thursday....I forgot yesterday was W.W.

2008-10-09T07:57:00.003-04:00

FAMILY!!!!!! This is mine...

FAMILY!!!!!!

Friends
Amazing
Mine
Incredible
Love
Years

That AGE.............

2008-10-07T07:54:00.003-04:00

This past weekend really woke me up as far as my girls are getting older and not wanting to do all the fun things we did when they were younger (ummm, this past summer). We went to a fall festival and I was so excited to go on the hay ride, paint pumpkins, and make a scarecrow....my girls, not so much!!! Now granted there were lots of other things going on, but those things that I was looking forward to doing with them they replied, "No thanks Mom". It made me sad. I am so glad I raised them to be nature children and appreciate the beauty of the outdoors, because I still got that. This weekend we are going apple picking and they are thrilled. They love camping and hiking and even just going for walks to watch the sunset. I acted like a two yr old when it hit me that they are maturing and told them I was going to have more kids so I would have someone that wants to hangout with me. Of course they objected like you wouldn't believe and then went to the pet-a-pet farm with me!! ;) I win!!! A big group of us went so I my lil protege' that wanted to take pictures and ride the ponies and do alllll the fun things Auntie! So I spent most of my time with my lil baby!!! On Sunday we did my company picnic and had more quality time together. I love my lil girls/young ladies and I am learning to accept they are growing up!!!

W.W. 18 years later

2008-10-01T21:50:00.002-04:00

Then 1990

Now 2008

The first dance of the year and I got issues

2008-09-30T07:57:00.005-04:00

This past weekend the Princess and I had a little run in. She doesn't always tell the truth and I have a serious problem with that so when she is confronted about something it's so hard to believe her. After work on Friday I went by the school to try to get in to the dance they were having to take some pictures for them, at their request. When I got there, I spotted Ty dancing and didn't want to bother her and Princess was not where to be found....until......I see her being dragged out of the crowd by a teacher and a boy in the teacher's other hand. So I sit back and watch, because it's not like I was suppose to be there. I see Tricia's lil hands all over the place and she is on the verge of tears while Mr. Teenage boy is just standing with his arms crossed all tough. So after a few minutes of watching this when it looks like things have calmed down I walk over and don't even look at Princess. I ask the teacher if everything is okay and she says in a stern tone, BTW I don't care for this teacher to begin with so it is tough trying to be nice to her, "Is one of these yours?" and I tell her Princess is my daughter and she goes on to say this young man was dancing very close to on her backside and had his hands on her hips, oh and "I don't know what you allow, but we don't allow at home but we don't allow that here. Princess starts right away explaining how she didn't know. I am irritate at her and with her and I don't know if she is telling the truth so I go off on her. The teacher starts in on the boy while I am speaking to my daughter. The teacher starts to walk away and so does the boy and I say HOLD IT to which he responds "Yea"....EXXXXXCUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSE me.... "Yes, Ma'am". I finish talking to Trish and tell him to come here. NOW.........when the teacher started talking to him I hear his name, the same boy that tried to smack my daughter on the butt that I am not suppose to know about cause I am not reading their blogs, so I am really PISSED. So I send Trish away and he asks if he can say something and I don't let him I say my piece first..."Don't you EVER put your hands on my children again, do you know who my children are? If I hear of you touching my daughters' inappropriately we will have a REEEEEAAAAAAALLLLLL problem, do you understand me? If you need your Mom or Dad to talk to me I am happy to give you my cell phone number if we have any problems or lack of communication, do we? I am not playin with you, do not put your hands on my girls, got it?" All he says in a low voice lookin at me like I am CRAZZZZZZZZZZy white woman is Yes ma'am. To which I respond GOOD! then he asks if he can say something meanwhile I need to walk away so I don't strangle him, the lil boy who I have to look up to to yell at, arrrrrrrrrrrggggggg. I think I could take him!!! I was pretty fired up. ;) Just kidding I only beat my own kids. LOL So, he tells me that he wasn't even touching princess. That he turned and said to his boy look at this and put his hands around her waist but didn't touch her. he demonstrated. WHATEVER is what I wanted to say but instead I said, Don't put your hands on my kids, got it! He said yes and as he was walking away, I know I just need to shut up, I said I got my eyes on you. So 15 minutes later when he looks over at me I motion to him that I am watching him and his eyes just get big. I know I could have handled that differently I am sure and I thought about it after the fact realizing I should count to ten before I speak when I am upset. So after the dance the girls and a group of friends, including tall boy that all the girls are falling all over walk over to me so I can take a pic. Princess wraps her hands around this boy to take the pic and his hands fly in the air like, "I ain't touchin her" and he looks scared. I say you can take a pic with her I just don't want you to INAPPROPRIATELY putting your hands on them, do you know what that means or I can explain it to you?" He just shakes his head yes and I realize I just said that in front of all the friends, so I try to make all the boys feel stupid by saying and that goes for all of you!!! Princess looked proud and Ty looked like she wanted to crawl under a rock. OH WELL!!!

Teenagers

2008-09-23T07:58:00.002-04:00

It's so hard having teenagers, all the horrible stories you hear, well I hear from all my coworkers and other people in my life, all the hard times they have been through , the testing and the fights, thinking back to my memories as a teen and how INCREDIBLY challenging I was. HOLY COW, those memories are the only ones I need to be skeptical, leery, cautious, nosey and everything else I find myself being. I don't like it though, but I hear my Mother's words ringing in the back of my head....."You are so naive, just like I was, remember when you told me this, when you did this" and it raises all kinds of flags. I keep telling myself that MY girls are NOT me. They have not gone through the things I did as a child, they have not been exposed to the things I was as a child and more importantly they are not being raised the way I was as a child.

HOWEVER...even with all that said....trust has to be earned, right! I do not want to let my guard down and regret it. The other side of that is I feel a little, very little guilty about snooping, eavesdropping and reading of the notes/blogs. And I think because really I have found NOTHING. They are only 13 though, but today that doesn't mean anything either from some of the stuff they have shared with me.

I do feel blessed that we are very close and they feel comfortable telling me about stuff their friends do that they don't approve of and sharing who uses bad language, who has kissed a boy already, who sneaks on the phone late at night, but then all my suspicions raise like...they must be doing these things to and seeing how I am going to react...a little trick I did with my Mom at that age. Who knows, parenting is hard, single parenting is super hard. I pray hard every night for them, their values and for me to continue to be the best parent I can be to them, but by the time you know, as a parent you did a good/bad job, it is to late to change anything.

So alllllllllll this stemmed from this past weekend, Ty spent the night at a friends (a new friend I hadn't met yet, always leary of the new ones) and then she stayed at our house the following night. She seemed VERY sweet and very respectful, innocent and happy young lady. I met her Mom on Friday and she gave me good vibes as well. SOOOOOOOO, she has a myspace account, which I am not fond of, but whatever..... and she was on it and they girls were uploading pics I had taken of them and her Mom came to pick her up and so she didn't sign out. HERE I GO!!!! I closed my door and locked it and started reading, feeling guilty and nervous about what I might find but it's for my kids, I need to know who they are hanging out with. After reading more then I could stand....really searching for a nugget of some bad thing, I found nothing. GUILT really set in. She is as sweet as she appears and even more so. She is a good friend. She is focused on school and her studies and she values her friendships. So, I am good!!!

AM I WRONG??????? What every mother out there done the same thing??? AM I CRAZY??? As soon as they turn 14 am I going to be worse??? I sure hope not cause more then anything i don't want to push them away with my craziness.

Here are a few pics from this past weekend

W.W. Friends for Always Family Forever

2008-09-17T08:11:00.007-04:00

How do they go from this.....

(Soooooooo cute)
(Ty is always on that side, funny)

to this
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Where does the time go????????

My growing girls,,

2008-09-16T21:23:00.004-04:00

I am trying to stick with what I said and write. This whole weekend I was pretty much laid up cause I hurt my freakin back again!!! The girls were so good to me and taking care of me. I am so proud of them sometimes. If I could just teach them how to be neat and tidy they might be perfect. ;)

Today I had a very grown up conversation with them, one I was nervous about. One I wasn't sure how they would react, but knowing them as well as I do, I was okay with whatever the reaction would be. It is a very personal matter, having to do with their dad, but they stepped up as I anticipated and I am so proud of them. I am so proud of how mature they handle my questions and reacted. I have never said an ill word to them about their Dad. I have never pulled them in one way or another from him. He chose to live the life he has and go down the path he did. When he met them when they were four I gave him every opportunity to be a father. I made every effort possible, gave 110% when he gave 2%. Now, at age almost 14 they are wiser then I expected and although they hurt as a result of his actions they will step up to the plate when it comes to protecting their little sisters from the same hurt and the same pain they went through of having an in and out part time Dad. Although they still don't understand they situation and why they haven't seen him in over two years and why he continues to fight to see the two little ones, none of that matter when it came down to them standing up to him. Well not yet, but maybe down the road. They are ready to step up if they have to.

My once little precious babies that I could hold both in one arm have grown in to two mature young ladies with a conscience and mind that makes good decisions from the heart. I am so proud of you two, more proud then I can ever show you, but I hope tonight when we talked you could see the sparkles in my eyes that are you!!!!!!! Mommy loves you!!!

Back to school night 8th grade style!!!!

2008-09-11T07:46:00.002-04:00

I went to back to school night last night. I always enjoy back to school night because I like to meet my girls teachers and see what they are in for. I like to be prepared to know how I can help them and what the expectations are. Well was I in for a surprise last night...who knew?? Not me!! 8th grade, completely different from all the previous years..different grading and different teaching. HOLY COW. I think 8/9 out of the 12 teachers I saw last night (cause I have to try to get to two classes for every ONE slot they give you, so I can meet alllll the teachers) said "These kids are grown up now.....blah blah blah" WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?????????? What do you mean..my babies!!!! Then they would say something like, "They are 13/14 and it is time for them to grown up." Well yes I guess it is but ...... my babies!!! So, it was an eye opener for me. They all kept saying how they treat them as high schoolers and really give them a taste so they are ready for next year "when they are among 17/18/ and even some 19 year olds". My tummy flip flopped. I am really not ready for this but I can only imagine how they are going to feel. I don't remember being scared going in to high school, but probably cause I knew a lot of the older kids....I remember being very comfortable. They have a lot more freedom too, as far as going to their lockers and being in the halls. Last two years they were only allowed to go to their lockers at certain times a day and I think only three total. This year they can pretty much go before/after every class, but if they are late to any class four times they get after school suspension. I guess teaching them time management. It's good for them!

ANYWAY... so the teachers all seem pretty good, some super strict and tough, but I like that. I think tough is good!!! I think the tough teachers are the ones that make a difference. They have a lot more male teachers this year too, something else new for them. So, I was there from 630 to 910, and met 12 teachers, one was out for surgery and had a god night. I was sad to that there was so little participation on the parents part. These teachers taught our children allllll day and stayed at the school in to the evening and you can't come out to meet them.....I don't like it. This school has very low parent participation. At back to school night at their previous school there were so many parents that came (mom and dad of many of the kids) that there were never enough seats in the class. One of the classes I went to last night had about 7 parents in it and that was the most. :(

Parents out there: GET INVOLVED with your kids and the schools!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't think any parents read my blog but just in case someone stumbles upon it!!!!!!!!!!!! ;)

Wordless Wednesday - Growing up

2008-09-10T08:24:00.003-04:00

2004

2006

2008

Kids are funny, especially toddlers

2008-09-09T08:02:00.003-04:00

So, on our long trip to Fl the baby sat in the middle of me and B. As the sun came up and we were getting closer she suddenly became super awake and super bored. I started playing the What does the ____ say/do" game with her. She really loves this game and singing also. So we are going through the basic animals; cat, dog, cow, sheep...you know all the ones kids that age know. I was saying the animal noises with her too. Then we get to piggy. Oh the piggy, which most kids will say "Oink, Oink"...me I like to snort cause it's funny to see the lil ones react and my kids loved it when they were little. Adri belts out with laughter and then she tries to do it also. This had us laughing so hard we almost had to pull over, Adri laughed with us too. "Auntie, again, again" Of course I broke out the camera because her piggy face snorting was the CUTEST ever. We also made fishes faces which entertained for at least 30 more minutes. How cute is this munchkin....

Piggy
Piggy
Fishy
Fishy

I love her!!!!! I wish I took a viseo of the piggy!! Note to self: take video of piggy!!

Why I can't seem to blog

2008-09-08T21:25:00.003-04:00

So I want to blog/write/journal/update.....

My issue is that everytime I think about doing it I think where do I begin because it's been so long since the last time and there is sooo much I want to write and document. hmmmmm This is my block, this is the reason I can't get it together. ARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGG I am frustrated.

Sooooo, I went to FL with the girls and B and her fam, S. too. We drove 13 hrs there actually I think it was more like 14 but I lost track. It wasn't so bad going, coming home was a different story though. We were crammed in and we got a flat in the first two hours of driving. :(

While we were in FL we went to Sea World a GAZILLLLION times. No seriously we went everyday except one and sometimes several times a day. I think by day five we actually saw everything and every show. How do people do it one day I dont know. The one day we didn't go we were at Busch Gardens allllllllllllll day. It was great but we were so freakin tired by the ride home, even the kids. We did get to see a lot of cool animals. Actually I have seen more animals this year then I think ever in my life. I took alot of pics. WAY too many. I think I took almost 2000 that week in FL. Maybe 1500. A LOT is what I know. How can I go through that many pics to share some? ;) Hmmmmm Way to hard. It was amazing vacation and also the first full week I have taken off in six years. Okay gonna share a few photos.

Before I do though I am going to commit to trying to update on Mondays about the weekend, Wordless Wednesdays, cause that should be easy to do, I have seen lots of bloggers do it and I like it, and on Thursday or Friday. Okay can I hold myself to this PLEASE!!!! I have made a new pack with my girls... they are not allowed to get on the computer unless they write for 15 minutes first. Sooo, if I am gonna hold them to that I have to hold myself to writing also.

My life is not very exciting but there are things I want to remember moments with friends and my girls that if I do not make my lazy but type them I will forget them. I should make that my title so I can remind myself. Any of my wonderful friends out there that may check in here once in a while, please shoot me an email to remind me it is time to write again.

Okay that is all...time for a few pics.

They are stars .....

2008-07-29T07:48:00.008-04:00

The girls show was a success and much better then the park authority had expected!!! I went to all 3 shows and each was a little different but GREAT!! I think the best part of it all was the bond between the kids, the connections they had with each other is what made the show go off with ease after only 14 days of rehersal!!! You can read all about the director who is going to do big things with his dreams and this was the start!!!! HE was AMAZING!!!!!!! Smart, mature and in control of these kids he was only a couple years older then! I went to rehersals right after work on Friday the night of the opening show and was so impressed. I was also back there at 1130 on Sat and there until I think after 1000 that night, so I also bonded with them and they were all wonderful kids. So...here are some pics and the link to the article:

http://connectionnewspapers.com/article.asp?article=317520&paper=72&cat=104
I love this SHOT!!!!! We took like 9 pics to try and get everyon in the air with no success
The whole cast!!! Love these kids!!!
After the opeing show (see my Annadale Atoms sign in the back, so wierd to be back in my old school)
Just Chillin'
On Stage!
and the other on Stage
Posed pics on stage!!!!
The family in the front row...Hi Kiem in the second row!!
Auntie Mish...always supportin her girls!!! :)
and this is the Annandale Crew! We all have lots of memories good and bad in this place! The one in the white I haven't seen since '94. We were all feelin it bein back in there!
Kiem surprised the girls showin up cause he wasn't going to be able to come and I had already told them when they asked, so they were super excited when they looked out and saw him there!

AND THAT'S A WRAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday Drama

2008-06-25T08:07:00.004-04:00

My girls are doing a theatre camp for a "High School Musical" production. I was soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo excited when I found it and even more excited to get the discounted rate which saved me ummmmmmm about $400 that I don't have! I would have paid it though for them to have this experience and for Princess to figure out if she REALLY likes drama or not. She always talks about it and the love for plays, theatre, musicals, but I don't know that she ever thought about the work that goes with the beautiful end piece we watch. So, most places prepare for months...not these inexperienced kids, they got three weeks!!!! Three weeks to learn all the songs and dances, which are different then the ones Princess has learned from watching the movie 100000000000000000000000000000000000000000 times, because of copyright issues. So, new songs, new dances and lines. Not as easy as either of them were anticipating. Angel face on the other hand who had no expectations cause she didn't want to do it (but Mommy made her) really likes it. Go figure!!!

Sooooooooo, here is the Monday part. First day is Monday and I bring them to work with me and we get in the car to head over to the High School where they will be doing their thing. It is not just any High School, it is MY High School, the one I went to all four years and graduated from, the one I have nightmares about more often then I think I should. So, as I am driving up in the school, passing areas that hold four years of memories for me, so many feelings are coming back and it is CRAZY!!!!!!!!! Then I pull in front of the school and we are rushing in and when I stepped in there, even more crazy feelings. I haven't been back there in eeehhhhmmm...15 years. I stepped in and just looked around!! The smell was still the same and even the feel, all though they have remodeled lots. I took dramam in high school, so I was hoping I knew where to go and sure enough, that hadn't changed. It was an experience I wasn't prepared for and overwhelmed me. After I got them settled and left the room, walking back through the school, I walked really slow and took it all in. Then I looked around and saw the PLACE, the place from my dreams, where I am lost and it was exactly the same. I had to check myself, but who knew. I sure as hell didn't. Day #2 I just pushed them out of the car and kept on going and will continue to do that for the next several weeks until it is SHOW TIME and I get to go in there again. Nostalgia is a crazy thing. Last two nights before bed I think about the school and that I am going to have the dream, but I haven't.

Oh and the girls think that it is the COOLEST that their Mommmy graduated from there and WENT to that school. I love that part! and I CAN NOT WAIT to see them on the same stage I was once on. I am a big dork I know

Sisters

2008-06-19T08:53:00.003-04:00

My sister is my heart.She opens doors to roomsI never knew were there, Breaks through wallsI don't recall building. She lights my darkest cornersWith the sparkle in her eyes. My sister is my soul. She inspires my wearied spiritTo fly on wings of angelsBut while I hold her handMy feet never leave the ground. She stills my deepest fearsWith the wisdom of her song. My sister is my past. She writes my historyIn her eyes I recognize myself, Memories only we can share. She remembers, she forgivesShe accepts me as I amWith tender understanding. My sister is my future. She lives within my dreamsShe sees my undiscovered secrets,Believes in me as I stumbleShe walks in step beside me, Her love lighting my way. My sister is my strengthShe hears the whispered prayersThat I cannot speakShe helps me find my smile, Freely giving hers awayShe catches my tearsIn her gentle hands. My sister is like no one elseShe's my most treasured friendFilling up the empty spacesHealing broken placesShe is my rock, my inspiration. Though impossible to define, In a word, she is...my sister.

Summer Summer----Time!!!!

2008-06-13T08:42:00.004-04:00

Today is the last day of school which mean my girls are about to go in to CHILL mode, where they sleep until noon and when I cook dinner it is lunch to them!!! I am sooooooooooo jealous. I am working on a list of chores to keep them busy this summer. I am also going to find some english and math activities, along with a few books they WILL read. I know at first they are going to think I am MEAN and it is SUMMER MOM!!! but I don't really care cause I am the Mom and well I have that power. I know they like when they accomplish tasks and it makes them feel good inside even if they fight me to do it at the start. They have gotten really good about doing what I ask of them like dishes, cleaning the bathroom, putting away their clothes, picking up the room. They get excited about their accomplishments. So I am going to make sure they have some excitement this summer ;) HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! I mean they just got back from camping, next month they are going to TX for almost two weeks, then we are going to the Jonas Bros. concert, and then to FL for a week. Come on!!!!!!! They better do everything and then some with a smile!!!!!!!!
So my Rocker Child finally got Guitar Hero and is IN LOVE with the game. Come to find out she is not the only one in the house in LOVE with the game. We came home the other night and found Gma sitting on Princess' bed TV loud, rockin out with the plastic guitar in hand, oh and in serious concentration mode. I think we all laughed til our tummies hurt. So, now Rocker girl and Gma have finally found something to really bond them. She loves that Gma wants to play and learn and is happy to sit and watch her get a 100%. Me, nahhh, not so much!! They both try to convince me to play at least twice a week. I really just have no interest and I don't like the songs, so there you have it, Gma is KEWL and I am not.
In other news I am back to the gym and OH HOW I LOVE IT. I have had bronchitis the last two weeks which makes exercising next to impossible, even walking the dog was exhausting me. So I went to the gym on Tuesday and yes the cough is still lingering but I pushed through it and by the end of my work out I was the only one left in the gym. Ummmmmmmmmm, I don't know, maybe my hacking all over my hands and then the machine. HEEE HEEEE!!! I wiped it down after. I went again last night and not as much coughing and I burned 50 more calories then the other night in the same amount of time, GOOOOOOO ME!!!! I am hoping with the break and getting back in to the routine, my body is gonna be excited and I will continue to shed!! I bringin SEXY back!! LOL that was for my other Princess T!!!!

Gma ROCKIN out!!!!!!!! This is how we caught her, she is still in her pjs.

Sisters!!! This pictures makes my heart warm and fuzzy inside, the details of it and how much these three love eachother and the bond they have!! Doesn't have anything to do with the post it just makes me happy

Extra Baggage

2008-05-19T22:38:00.004-04:00

So, I started working out with Aim I guess mid January this year. I did it because I was tired. Tired all the time, and that IS NOT ME!!! I am an energetic person, I am full of life and joy!! In January though with the start of a new year, I was not. I am a morning person, always have been, even before kids (I think). Before I put on the extra 50lbs from the weight I once maintained for 8 or so years. Even after the girls (I know I only carried to 6 months but still I put on some pounds) I was TINY!!! well for me, some might beg to differ that I was ever "tiny".

Anyway... I used to look forward to waking up early on Sat. mornings and I had gotten to a point that I did not like to get out of bed until my body just wouldn't sleep anymore. Having teenagers rocks cause you can stay in bed pretty much as long as you like.

So, when I finally made the commitment to get my ass to the gym with hope of weight loss but expecting to get my energy level back to where I was comfortable I had no idea I would feel this good and MISS exercising when things came up that cause me not to be able to get to the gym. At least I always walk my dog EVERY night, so that is a little sumtin sumtin.

So here we are pretty much 4 months later and over 30lbs gone and I feel great. I have always been comfortable in my body, a blessing from my Mom. She raised to me feel comfortable in my skin regardless of my weight, she also passed down to me amazing genetics of a curvy figure regardless of weight. So...at 135 or 150 or 175 or 207 I have always had a hour glass figure. Thank you Mom!!! Also inheritted from Mom is the way I gain weight it doesn't stick to one area, like most women, from what I hear. It distributes kinda nice and even through out my body. So, gaining weight hasn't really bothered me over the years, I mean, I am a woman and conscience of the way people look at me, but I didn't really care. and I had the disease opposite of anorexia. (another gift from my Mom, apparently, she has it too) I look in the mirror and regardless of weight I think I look damn good nekked!!! HEE HEE what a great way to see yourself to some extent, not a healthy way, but life is less stressful that is for sure. The lack of energy bothered me. The way I came home everyday after work and my schedule went like this....crawl in bed for 90 minutes or so and rest, get up cook dinner, eat and then back to bed to relax and watch tv, walk the dog but only to the corner (poor Tobie) and then brush teeth and go to sleep. In the mornings I would stay in bed as long as possible, like I needed it and through out the day felt like I needed a nap after a couple hours of working. ACCCCCCCCKKKKKKK... it makes me sick thinking about it.

Back to the positives. I HAVE my ENERGY back. I love to wake up now, I am excited about getting out of bed. I come home and I get my work out clothes on, cook dinner, hang out with my girls, walk the dog, exercise, walk the dog and have some time with the girls and then me time. ;) I feel so much more productive and happy, like ME!!!

Here are some before and after

November 2007

May 2008

I look happy either way and that makes me smile!!!! :)

My Mini Me!!!

2008-04-29T08:49:00.004-04:00

This past Friday I really saw the results of my lil Mini Me!!! I went to help out Aimee at Banana's Bday party, but I ended up being the photog for my Mini Me
Here are the results:
Mini Me: Aunnie, take a picture of me and you
Me: Yes Baby

CLICK

Mini Me: Lemme See Lemmsee....Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww we're so cuuuute Aunnie

Mini Me(MM): Aunnie, you take a picture with my sister and you and me
Me: Yes baby

Click

MM: Lemme See Lemmsee......Awwwwwwwwww, I love it Aunnie

MM: Now me and My Sister Neeeeah, okay Aunnie

Me: Yes, of course Baby

Click

MM:Lemme See Lemmsee

MM: Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww but Aunnie she not looking, one more please

Click

MM:Lemme See Lemmsee

MM: Look at the Camera Neeeah, Aunnie's taking a picture, LOOK!!!!!!!

Click

MM: MM:Lemme See Lemmsee

MM: Awwwwwwwwwwww I so cute Aunnie, awwwwwwwwwwwwwww she's not looking, aunnie, please

Click

MM:Lemme See Lemmsee

MM: Aunnie I love it, awwwwwwwwwwwwww, we're so cute, awwwwwww......one more

Click

Okay you get the point right, here are the rest of the pics, well not all of them but a few more from that moment

MM: Take one of me and my Daddy!! Come on Daddy, look at the camera, Aunnie, call Daddy!! Noooo kisses Daddy...the camera (oh that is my child and I love it!!!!!)

Now this one, below was the best for me. MM was standing by my side with her arm wrapped around my leg and I am getting the camera ready to take a pic, yelling at the girls to SMILE, cuz you don't look cool, girls just smile...okay ready?

CLICK

and then I look at it to make sure it isn't blurry and MM says: Am I in it? Lemme see Lemmesee

She was soooooooooooo proud of herself for being in the pic with the big girls, I mean how freakin adorable is my MM???

On Sunday we had another party and her Mom gave her the camera and I sware she took like 8 pics of herself and then kodak moments with all her friends and ME!!!! ;) I am beggin her Mom to get her a camera with her bday money, BEGGING!!!!!!!! I mean look at her!!! and everyone she looks at afterwords is the cutest bestest most adorable picture ever in her eyes!!!

There's have the talk and then there's QUESTIONS

2008-04-25T09:15:00.009-04:00

So here I am again, wanting to share all kinds of fun stuff and uncomfortable moments but I just don't have the time, nor do I truly make an effort to make the time. I thought the other day I will just use pictures to update my blog, since I carry my camera everywhere I go and document every moment there is in my life. Then there are moments that I can't document on camera like when my 13 yr old daughter wants to know what certain things mean after she has watched a lifetime movies about teens and STD's spreading mean. Hmmmmmmm, talk about an uncomfortable moment that as a parent I wasn't prepared for. There are many scenarios and topics I try and come up with and think how am I going to handle this when it comes up, I go through a million different explanations in my head and even run them by friends/parents to get other thoughts, but when that moment comes you can never be truly prepared. (or at least I am not)
I am very honest with my girls, always try to answer questions as clear and straight as I can w/o going overboard. I have a truly amazing bond with them and feel comfortable knowing when they have questions they will seek me out first because I have always been straight with them even when I haven't wanted to, even when I wasn't sure and had doubts that they were not "old enough" to hear the answer I was going to share. They have always taken it in and have seemed to appreciate my honesty and my trust in them. I am nervous about the day that is coming when they want to know how old I was when it happened, when I did it, when I kissed a boy and what happens after that. I told myself I would never lie to them, I told myself, even if it is painful and they may throw it in my face down the road I will be honest with them and now here they are at 13 and I feel myself running the other way from Honesty.
I feel guilt about this, serious guilt, I try to convince myself that I was brought up differently and that things happened in my childhood that made my teenage years different then theirs will be. I try to convince myself that a little white lie at this stage in the game will be okay, but it eats me up inside and I haven't even told one yet!!!!!!!! My saving grace to all this is I have wonderful friends who I can use as examples of waiting and my Mom too and I will use them, but I know the question is going to come and that they are going to want answers and I don't want them to have skewed ideas about if Mom did it it must be okay.
I want their innocence to last as long as possible, I want them to respect themselves and not seek out love from boys, I want them to have values and confidence enough to say NO and steer clear of anything that would make them uncomfortable. I want to be able to tell them the truth in a way that will keep them safe and discouraged from going down that path too soon, I want to teach them respect of their bodies and minds. I want to instill all that I lost as a child. I want them to not go with the crowd or do things to be popular, I want their confidence and self esteem to shine above all that they are not ready for.
Okay, so the conversation has opened my eyes that my babies, my lil babies that I could once hold in my hand literally are growing up and I want to keep holding their hands with the one that held them for the first time.
This moment....although I wish I had the camera in my hand, I could not document with a picture! However her reaction was priceless to my response and one that although uncomfortable and scary made me belly laugh. I love my children I love them with every breath I take and I want to give them what I didn't have, I know how cliche that sounds, but I truly mean it. I want them to have it all!!!!!
At almost two months

My girls are growing up, my precious babies

Quote

2008-04-09T08:57:00.003-04:00

So I was reading one of the many forwards I get a day, because, well I don't know why, I usually scan through them if nothing else. Well now I know why, you never know when you might come across a tid bit of information that will make you smile or make your day.

So, I was reading one of those forwarded jokes or something and at the bottom is a quote I can totally relate with:

(drum roll) here it is:
"Being happy doesn't mean everything's perfect. It means you've decided to see beyond the imperfections."

I think this just might be how I get through each day smiling and feeling thankful and blessed!!!

I love it!

Maybe I should have my teenage girls say it to me every night before bed! ;)

Help me reach my goal!Sponsor Me at March for Babies!

2008-04-04T09:27:00.002-04:00

Question of the day???

2008-03-13T14:22:00.002-04:00

So, at work today I was "psssssted" at, followed by "Come here" with the finger pulling me in close and the question asked next was....."Are you black?" huh!!!!! mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm .... hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm....What??????

then the person said, "You know, you have black ways about you?"

I tried HARD to get more details and figure out what that means and I am still not quite sure but I was told I am a "Real" person and don't front or change who I am and still remain professional.

Okay, I'll take that.

WERD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PS I got my hair cut off.... 7 inches, SEVEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yup!!! in the back of my head it looks like a blonde curly afro!!!!

I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pictures Share the story of my Baby Girl

2008-02-26T22:05:00.004-05:00

I know I said I would make an effort to write tonight but I am tired!!!

I had a great day!!! I got the best news I have gotten in a while on my way home and I am still on cloud 9!!!!

So, Wanted to document a few pics and get my effort in!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh my crazy life

2008-02-25T08:38:00.003-05:00

So, every day I think about logging in and typing away because I have lots of stuff I would like to record that is going on in my life, lots of moments I would like to remember that I know if I don't get them down somewhere over time they will fade and I just can't seem to find the time. It is driving me crazy cause every morning I read my daily blogs and think, I WANT to write and then I start but never finish.

So, now that I have figured out adding exercise in to my daily routine I am going to figure out how add bloggin in there a few times a week too. Not sure how but I am working on the thought process.

Exercising, I am LOVING IT!!!!!!!!!!!! Really loving sweating and most important the after effect and how I feel the rest of the day and even the next morning. I have met my first goal and I am working on my second, YAHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! I have lost about 22lbs!!!! I know that seems like a lot but not when you are a big momma like me!!! and really the weight isn't as important as me feeling good and having more energy, that's what is motivating me!!!

So, in no particular order I am going to write some of those things I don't want to forget.

- Tricia and Tyra completed their science project, which they did together and on the OWN!!! (I really made them figure this one out) It looked great!! They are both very creative and did an amazing job! ....note to self take a picture next time

- I had a special night with my three year old best friend and took her to see Disney's Nemo on ice. Just her and I, we rode the metro in and sat in the nose bleeds, but we had a wonderful time and she loved it. I think it meant more to me though.

- During Nemo show, my Mom called and my Doggie had ingested (ATE THE F%$* out of) CHOCOLATE!!! She ate about 60 Hershey kisses. I immediately started tearing up while I am listening and Ci, the three year old looks up and says, "Auntie, it's okay, don't cry the Daddy is going to find Nemo, I have the movie at home, don't worry the Daddy is gonna find Nemo, Auntie, I have the movie at home." That was the best thing she has ever said to me in the year plus she has been really talking.

- Tobie, my dog, is fine. She is a BIG dog and the vet at the emergency hosp said that she could probably handle it based on her size. and she did. She pooped silver from the wrappers for a few days, but no blood and no diarrhea, so she and I both really lucked out. She did puke once, the next morning, but on a towel and only a little which also included lots of silver.

- Have talked to MF a few times and nothin, haven't really felt sad/down or like I wanted to jump in my car and go over there. He has even extended two invites to come over and I declined them both!! (pat on the back)

- working out with Aim is soooo fun!!!! :) We don't really talk, other then the walk to the gym and back, but knowing she is on the next machine over makes the workout that much better!!! LOVE her and LOVE that she is making so much effort to work out!!! We are also encouraging each other with eating better, have even done our grocery shopping together the last couple weeks too. Friends are the BEST!!!

- saving the best for last............... MY CAR IS PAID OFF!!!!!!!!!!!! FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! not that my payment was super big, but just to know I have a little more money in da pocket is FUN!!! :)

okay let's see, will write again on Tue. night, maybe Thurs, but again this week.

Buhbye

BUSY BUSY bumble bee

2008-01-31T08:11:00.000-05:00

ummmm, I wrote this last week and forgot to post, I am a knucklehead, yes I know!!!

Yup that's me!!! I am busy every where, at work and at home, but I am happy and feel great. I have reconnected my girls with the other side of their family and it has been a truly amazing thing to see. It made me a little sad in my heart that I have not initiated contact sooner and made more of an effort for them to have that, but now is better then never, right? Right!!!! Last week I talked to their Aunt J, the D's sister, and we went over and hung out. We had a great time and it was just so nice to see the girls bonding with their cuzinz and chillin'. The have many cousins, I think 8 first cousins, maybe 7, Aunt J has 3 and Uncle G has 4. So, the girls had such a wonderful time, and I did too. I was very close to Aunt J's older two and after seeing them again, apparently still hold a big place in their hearts!!!! :)

So, I got home from work the next day, FRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDAY, and I was planning on taking hte girls to their old school for Bingo night, but they wanted to go to Tank's, basketball game. I called Aunt J and found out where it was and we quickly piled in the car and headed to game. When we got their Uncle G was their too, now the girls haven't seen him in LOTS of years, like 4/5 years, so when they looked up the bleachers and saw him they went running up them and jumped in his arms squeezing him with all their might, while his kids looked on like, who in the heck are they. By the time I made it up the bleachers Uncle G was introducing them to their other cousins and like family should be it was like they had known each other for ever.

Just watching the girls interact with their Aunt and Uncle, cousins too was soooo nastolgic. It warmed my heart very deep and made feel so happy. Probably cause the girls were smiling from ear to ear almost non stop and their voices were high pitched from the excitement in them. It is something I will hold with me and remember. That and the fact that Tank came and hugged me tight and whispered, "Auntie, Please don't let so much time pass before we see you all again."!!!! UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, talk about a hit to the gut!!!! He is my baby, my big baby, but none the less my Baby!!!!

So, Friday after the game we went back to Aunt J's place and hung out until two the AM and when I tried to get the girls to get it together to go home, they didn't want to leave.

I won't let so much time pass agian

Science Projects, WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

2008-01-23T08:08:00.000-05:00

I HATE THEM!!!!!!!!!! Why am I not exited and motivated to kick my girls in the butt so we can just be done already??????????? Why can I not remember how much I HATED doing the science projects at the last minute the last two years and it change hoe things are done this year????? WHY WHY WHY????? Why do they have to do a freakin science project every year from now until they graduate??? What life lesson is this teaching them, huh Mr. K, huh, do tell?? Why do I fight it???

So, science projects are do in less then a month and the girls have topics so I guess we are at least on step one, but next comes experiments and research and visits to the library, cause they can't use the Internet as their only source(they force you to go to the library). Materials have to be bought and I am not sure if they teachers realize it but I have TWO KIDS doing TWO different projects, I mean I know Ms. W does cause they are int he same class, but come on, you couldn't have made them partners???? They probably could have but didn't want to and deep down somewhere in my soul I know that is almost like giving them each other's papers to copy, WHATEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, what should I be doing, I mean other then work, I should be printing of information to do these stinkin projects. The issue with that is, ummmmm, I have no idea what the Princess is doing or WHY, I even emailed the teacher to say, what is she really proving, cause I can't figure it out?

In other news..... the heart breaker called last night and I think to his surprise I sounded great and alive and HAPPY. Even though he sounded a little surprised cause I am not sure what he prepared himself for, probably didn't even think I would answer the phone. We didn't talk long, because I was on my way to the gym and even though I wanted to (just a little) talk to him, going to the gym and taking care of myself was more important, so I DID and I worked HARD!!! I also know God was on my side cause when I got to the gym it was packed and there was one treadmill open and within 5 minutes, about 4 different people came down and then headed back home cause there was no more room!!! Good decisions are rewarded, if I would have stayed on the phone, I wouldn't have had a spot, I WIN!!!!!!!!

Its hump day!!!!!!!!! My day here is going to be hectic so I thought, while I am not able to do much, I should take me break now so I get it, cause I know the rest of the day is going to be CRAZY!!!

Oh, I should Ty how to blog too, set her up and everything, she is excited about it, we'll see! It's gonna be HARDDDDDD not to peak in to it, but I promised, so if anyone else will peak and share and feel no guilt about that LET ME KNOW!!!!

Reds have more fun

2008-01-21T08:23:00.000-05:00

Sat. night BONDING!!!!!!!!

Well, before I get in to my incredibly wonderful Sat. night I must touch on Friday which was a HARD night for me. I decided to let go of something I have been holding on to for many years. I decided to put me first and take the first of many big steps in taking care of me before anyone else and doing what is right for me, and although painful I DID IT!!!!!!!!! Maybe it I wasn't ready, maybe I was but knowing my girls would be coming over on Sat. and keeping me company gave me just the kick in the arse I needed to jump in and DO IT!!!!! So, I am hurting still but I also feel good and free. IN fact when I drove away from making this HUGE step in my life, I felt a weight lifted off and a deeper love for myself and that superseded everything else. On the way there I cried tears of sadness and heart break and on the way home I cried tears of strength and happiness. I know the next few weeks will be hard but I plan to continue to empower myself and stay strong.

....and thank to my Clussy who had a house full, to include kids and when I called her crying my ass off she dropped everything and gave me stregnth, told me the truth and loved me so hard it was if she were standing next to me holding my hand!!! HOMEbase, you are the BEST!!!!

So, Sat. night my girls and I planned a night together, not out, just hanging and bonding, the real deal!!! Mimi and I met at Don P's and ate some chips, I spilled my guts, she drank a margarita and listened while I sipped on Coke. She just listened, and I love that about her!!! She has become an incredible sounding board. (She used to break me down and make me call her "Mommy", but now she listens with an open heart and mind and I love it) She has grown too. B was suppose to meet us there but the chips were kinda stale and we weren't really hungry. I called B to see where she was at and she met us at Targe' where we planned to pick out some hair color. FUN BEGINS!!!!!!!!!!! We all picked a shade with some red in it. So much fun. Mimi has never gone outside of some sort of shade of blonde so I am sooo excited. I want to find a peel, that was the one thing I really wanted to do, a face peel and the only one I could find was like $14, so instead, I sent the ladies to my house and I headed over to Wally World to find my face peel that I know will be more then half of that freakin cost and it was. I also grabbed some snacks which we didn't touch. When I got here we jumped right in to it. Mimi brought over a foot massager bath thing too, it was going to be a full on girls night. Mimi went to work on my hair while B plopped down in the tub and we all just talked and laughed!!! :) Pure happiness, really!!! When Mimi was done with mine, B started hers and then B did Mimi's while is that confusing, me I snapped pics!!! :) When I got out of the shower, WHOOOAAA Red!!! After I dried it it wasn't as bad and had hints of blonde through out, which was expected, my hair to start was 100 different shades of blonde and now is 100 shades of red with about 20 blonde ;) of course that is a Harmonism!! After we were done showering and admiring the new looks we had the foot baths begin and the face peels. I put mine on my face and then did Mimi's and B's, that stuff was great and on them I think it was extra thick cause I couldn't tell. We all took turns soaking and scrubbing our feet in the mini foot jacuzzi. So, when all the pampering was done, our hair all curled and dressed to a t in pjs we laid on the bed and took some pics. It is like 130 am not. My mom popped in on us, we felt like teenagers and she snapped a couple pics too as well all giggled like little girls. We sat in the bed all three of us talking (me feeling like the luckiest girl in the world to have such great friends and so hmmmmm safe and happy). So I guess this feeling sweeps over me and I decide after not eating ALLLLLLLLL day, well two chips and at Don P's, I AM HUNGRY and ready to eat. So, we throw on sweatshirts, boots, sneaks, and slippers and climb in the car and go to Denny's. We are all about to fall asleep but we make it through the meal and laugh lots. Get back home and sleep like babies!!!

What a great night, could have only been better if my Home-y were there too. It was a long over due night that we all needed and I think benefited from it.

Here are some pics to enjoy from out night:

ME BEFORE

MIMI BEFORE

B BEFORE

FACE PEELS, ALL NATURAL

MIMI HATED THE PEEL, WHO'S MY TOUGH GIRL

WE DID IT!!! WE ARE HAPPY!! BONDING IS GREAT

TAKIN BY MOMS

THE END!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (this was my Mom's idea, might have been cute if she focused in on the hair and not our bottom halves)

I did it!!!!!!!!

2008-01-14T07:55:00.000-05:00

I went to church yesterday!!! I know for most that may not seem like a big deal, but for me it has been. I feel great and I am so excited and I can't wait to go back again. I was a lil worried about my girls cause service was longer then expected, which I didn't mind but I was concerned they would never want to go back again. We got there a little early at 1040 and there was prayer going on which I fell right in to with an open heart and tears. I went back out to the car to get some napkins cause I felt water works coming on. It was a great service and one I NEEDED to be at. The crazy thing, or as I would say the expected thing was when the pastor called for anyone wanting to come up to be saved, dedicate their lives, born again and something else, I had to hold the pew in front of me as not to RUN up there. There is still some (lots) of fear in me. Then after when he looked me (or so it felt) right in my face and said "I know there is one more, stop fighting it, I am going to give you 10 seconds to get up here." Well, I fought it and I didn't go and then follwoing that he said "Harmony" like 4 or 5 different times, of course he was speaking of Harmony in the "peace" sense but he said said it over and over and over again. At that point I bowed my head and prayed because I knew God was speaking to me. Really, how may times can one us the word Harmony in 3 minutes??? Huh!!!

So, I throughoughly enjoyed it and I plan to go back!! The girls had a good experience too and plan and want to come back with me, so I am thrilled!!!!

Last night I did hair for three hours and here are the results (they are soooooooooo my kids)

(Don't focus on the juice on my baby's lip she just finished a glass of carrot juice)

Mini Me

Mini Cluss

and this one they said Mom, we're takin this one for Titi Cluss cause she loves when we wink!! So this ones for you HOME-y!!!!!!!!!!!! They miss you!

Happy New Year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 2008

2008-01-03T21:17:00.001-05:00

is going to be great!!! I am claiming it!!! This will be a wonderful year for me and those around me!!!! At the stroke of midnight I said a prayer and claimed it for me and my family and friends, so I am ready for it!!!

I have been thinking about resolutions and what do I really want to accomplish and what do I think I can truly commit to and make happen. When I first thought about these ideas, the first one that popped in to my head was "Church" and going back. I have wanted to go back to church for a loooooong time. 2007 I made excuses the WHOLE year. I am scared to go back to church, I know that sounds crazy, but I am, that's why I haven't gone yet. I know my life will change and for the better, but I am not sure if I am ready for all that, well I wasn't sure, I am now. So, I will stop making excuses and get my butt in to church and the girls too. I am even excited about it. Now I just have to find the girls and I some church clothes, I think that will be fun!!!! :)

I would also like to get the girls and I exercising together, doing some type of activity on a regular basis, haven't figured out what yet. I was planning for us to go to the community gym but they aren't allowed until 16, three years away, and I am not trying to rush it.

and then there is the smoking issue, well, I have thought about it, I even went to the doctors and got another prescription for the meds to help me, but I haven't picked them up from the store yet. Hmmmmm, I guess I need to do that if anything is going to change, the thing is..........

I LOVE IT and I DON'T want to quit, but I know for my health I should and I also know I will feel better, WHATEVA!!!!!!!!!!!! is what I am thinking as I type that!!!

SO that's pretty much all I have come up with. I want to continue to be close to my girls, but I don't think that is something I need to work on. In fact I may need to learn to give them more space, but I like them to much, sooooooooooooo, until they tell me to BACK OFF I will be right there and if they ever say that to me, OUUUUUUUUU, it will be ON!!!!!!! I think they are too scared to say it, but we will see.

I brought the new year in with my girls in my arms and it was perfect, I was sober and HAPPY!!!!!!!!! I think this is one of the first years that I didn't have A drink on the new year and I think I liked it!!!!! It was just a really wonderful night full of friends, love, family and good eats!!!! There was also a birthday cake and song for Beebs!!! It was special and wonderful and I had almost all of my closest friends with me. I called my Nunus and let everyone what with her and then I took the phone and hid so I could chat her up real quick!!! I think my favorite part of the night besides talking to my Nunus was watching everyone at 1201 kissing and hugging each other, EVERYONE including the kids walked around and hugged and kissed each other and wished a Happy New Year, it was a beautiful moment to be a part of and watch!!!! It was a moment of friendship AND BLESSINGS!!!!

I AM CLAIMING IT for me, for my girls, for my family, for me friends, for those around me!!!

Happy New Year!!!!
My baby Girls

Sisters!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Babies!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so freakin cute these two!!!
They boys!!!!!!
the kids, minus to two boys who were playin play station, Boys will be Boys
and of course the Ladies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-12-14T08:20:00.000-05:00

That's all!!! Look at my baby!!! Isn't she a precious lil reindeer

We got to see the Gingerbread Man at a Holiday Party!!!

I wish you a Happy Holiday, a Merry Christmas and a BLESSED and Beautiful New Year!!!

SNOW!!!!!!!!!

2007-12-06T08:16:00.000-05:00

I love it!!! I love how beautiful everything looks covered in snow!! It makes me happy, feel like a kid again. I wish I could reap the rewards the kids do from the snow, like NO SCHOOL!!!!!!! The girls were up at 515 this morning!!!!!!!!! 515...........515!!!!!!! My lil Angel is in the shower yelling to her sister and I am CRINGING in my bed pulling the covers over pretending I don't hear anything. Tobie starts whipping me n the face with her tail cause I have moved and she thinks it must be time to wake up, so I get her settled back on her pillow, then.........................My lil princess storms in the room cause she needs SOCKS at 530 in the morning, WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!! Why does my child need socks at 530 in the morning!!!!!!!! SO I yell from bed, "DO YOU GUYS EVEN HAVE SCHOOL?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

and I hear in snyc "I don't know". So I tell them to turn the tv and look and then I hear a screeeeeach ("NO SCHOOL" for the lil girls I call mine) and again I try to pull the covers up and catch just a few more minutes but Tobie has decided it is time to eat!! So, I roll out of bed and go downstairs to feed her and I look out the Big Bay windows from the kitchen and I see beauty. The snow covered trees, the frosted covered water and the light peaking from the sun.

Yup, wrote this yesterday and forgot to post so here it is and late. Oh and my day was great!

Happy Friday and Happy Me

2007-11-30T08:56:00.001-05:00

So every night for the past three days I have gotten on the computer with the sole intention of blogging!!! I told someone very important that I would try to make more of an effort to Blog more even if it is nonsense and every night I have found a million other things I end up doing and then when I am done with those and I remember why it is I turned the computer on in the first place, I don’t wanna anymore. So, it is Friday morning and it is beautiful outside and I am feeling SUPER happy, not for any particular reason, just happy in my soul. Which I know is usually very normal for me but I have had a few rough weeks of crazy woman tantrums and I am SOOOOO done with it. Don’t get me wrong, I love my emotions, but I need ups to come with the downs I don’t deal with to many down days in a row and probably cause again, not used to it and it just doesn’t feel right. Oh and my down days are way way way down, like end of the world as we know it. As I have matured I have learned that the world really isn’t going to end and I have to remind myself that I am just goin through something and IT will get better, but holy moly my heart, my soul and my body, they would tell you a different story, thank goodness my mind has wised up a wee bit and I can listen to it.
So, feelin good!!! Feelin great!!! If I could explain it in words it is like, when you are super sick, like can't get out of bed, fever, chills, throwin up, aches and pains and then you wake up the next morning and feel completely better, like brand new. That is how I am feeling today: BRAND NEW!!! :)
M.F. must think I am NUTZ, out of my mind and yet he still deals and puts up with my and all my issues. I think he said last night, "I know YOU and I know that if I just let you get through it and am there for you, you will, you always do" Out of everyone in my life, he probably gets the worst of it cause he is any easy target for me to take all my emotions out on. It helps that I know after 8 years of having me in his life there probably isn't much I could say to him that would scare him away. The last two times we hung out I wasn't myself and he notices right away. Yes, I think that is special, but everyone else says, "Hello ding bat, a stranger would know." He makes me talk it out or try to anyway. His conclusion was I missed my friend. I think he was right. Even though he drives me up a tree most of the time, when I need him, when I really need him to be there and take care of me, he does. He hugged me and rolled me around on the bed, he tickled me and he told me beautiful and positive things. He put a movie on and wrapped his arms around me and just held me and then said things like, "U good? What else do you need from me?". That's a friend, one who puts up with your shi* and then tries hard to turn it around. Of course I tell him it's cause he is selfish and it is easier on him when I am good and that's why he wants me to be good!!! I know I am crazy sometimes. The thing is I acknowledge it and never deny it and it is what makes me ME!!!
It's Friday, Friday and what am I going to accomplish this weekend??? I would like to get the tree up, find my winter gear (gloves, hats, scarfs), hang out with my girls (the grown-up ones and the lil ones), go to the gym twice, take five walks, maybe I should shoot for 7 walks, cause I will knock two of them out tonight, yea, 7 is a better number, take my car to get it fixed, take junk to storage and I have to put blinds up in the girls room, that is a priority!!! and if I have time after all that, I would like to make my Christmas list of what I need to buy and figure out my budget, cause I am not workin with a lot this year after my mother has sucked me dry!!!!!! I love her though!!!! :)
Happy Friday!!! Happy Weekend!!!! Happy Harmony!!!!

Thanksgiving Weekend

2007-11-27T08:06:00.000-05:00

You know how normally when you have a four day weekend it goes by so fast it seems as though you didn't have anytime off, well not this year. In fact by Sunday evening it felt like I had been off for a week. I don't know if it was because I was just on vacation for Clussitas wedding or not, but I liked it!!!! I was Super busy too, it makes no sense to me and I am still trying to process it but I am THANKFUL for it. I came in to work yesterday refreshed and ready to go. (I also went to bed at 915 Sunday night)

Wed: went to work and got off 90 minutes early, whooooooo-hooooo and thanks to HOV and carpool was home in 25 minutes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :) Took a little snoozer, woke up and went to get some goodies for "Movie Night" with the neighborhood kids. We all met up at the club house at about 730ish and watched "Hairspray", they loved it and so did I. It was a great movie to watch with a bunch of teens to see their reactions and listen to their comments. I sware they must forget I am sitting in the back chillin. We all walked as a group and dropped everyone off at home and then the girls and I headed home. As usual they are so appreciate of the little things I do with them and it's all worth it.

TURKEY DAY: got up at 730 and started cooking. I made a cake and cupcakes, two pumpkin pies, green bean casserole w/ sausage gravy, sweet potatoes, corn bread, honey coated ham and stuffing. Relaxed and hung out with my babies! Got lots of text messages and calls of Happy Thanksgivings which made me smile!!!!!!!!! Headed over to D's house to eat with friends and family. Stuffed our faces and sat around the table and talked and laughed until our belly's hurt. Thought about calling my Mas many times to give her a big ol' laugh, because we had so many of those moments!!! Headed home.

Friday: Woke up and took the girls, Bananna and Titi to see enchanted at 1045 am. So you would think on Black Friday that the movies wouldn't be packed early in the am on this day, but sure enough they were. We went to see "Enchanted", it was great. Of course since we went to the Mills to watch the movie we had to walk around and the store they wanted to go to was at the OTHER end of the mall it took us two hours to get there and then maybe a hour in the freakin store where they can't afford anything. Friday night the girls had a friend, C, spend the night. I cooked dinner and we went to BBs to get movies.

Saturday: Woke up extra early to get all the girls in the shower to wash their hair so we could go get it done. YEAH!!!! I got my haircut too, just trimmed nothing dramatic or exciting. Headed over to Aims to chill and pick up Banana. Back to my house and cook YUMMY chili, everyone had seconds. Then I got some popcorn and soda together and headed up to the clubhouse for another "Movie Night". This time Aim and lil Ci joined us for a fun Christmas movie. It was great. I had two beers and was tore up from the floor up, it's crazy!!!

Sunday: RELAXED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! chilled and got some stuff done around the House!!!

It was a great weekend!! Here are a few pics
Thanksgiving
Gma and baby Nana at Thanksgiving
Girls after they got their hair did

I had one from movie night, but....uh-oh I deleted it and it is not on this puter

Hope everyone had a wonderful, thankful and blessed holiday with family and friends!!

My Clussita, My friend.......... I miss you

2007-11-21T11:51:00.000-05:00

A friend is someone who brightens your day with a smile,a warm hello, or gentle words from the heart.A friend is a precious gift to be cherishedand nurtured. A friend is a treasure beyond worth.I am so grateful to call you my friend!!-----(-----(-----@ @----)----)-----by Anonymous

Friendship
Each of us has a hidden placeSomewhere deep within ourselves;A place where we go to get away,To think things through,To be alone, to be ourselves.This unique place, where we confront our deepest feelings,Becomes a storehouse of all our hopes,All our needs, all our dreams,And even our unspoken fears.It encompasses the essence of who we are and what we want to be.But now and then, whether by chance or design,Someone discovers a way into that place we thought was ours alone.And we allow that person to see, to feel and to shareAll the reason, all the uncertaintyAnd all the emotion we've stored up there.That person adds new perspective to our hidden realm,Then quietly settles down in his own corner of our special place,Where a bit of himself will stay forever.And we call that person a friend.

So I am a Mom of a Cheerleader

2007-09-07T08:10:00.001-04:00

and I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love going to pratice and I love helping out!!! I am so proud. Ty and I do the chants all the way home from pratice, while she almost knocks me out cause she is trying to do the movements with her hands in the car. She is so pumped up after practives. The coach has this cd with a song on it, not sure what the real name is, but they all call it the "Ice cream and cake" song that she plays everyday when practice is over and all the girls LOVE it and DANCE together. It is a beautiful bond the squad has developed and I love all the girls. They truly are all very pleasent, respectful, polite and just down to earth girls. I have also found in talking with the girls and the parents we all share similar values, so I know that makes a difference. We had our first game last Sat. and the girls did really well, they all tried to pay attention to the game and was intense about learning when it was appropriate to do which cheer. When the players got hurt, they all dropped to one knee and cheered HARD when the player got up and walked off the field. It was a great experience. By the time the game was over the girls were wiped out, they had opening day at 9 and then the game at 3, so they basically had two hours to relax and eat in between.

This is something I never thought I would have the experience with and I definitely didn't think I would enjoy it as Ty started with the "I want to be a cheerleader", but I really am enjoying it, all of it!!! I am so proud of my baby and her dedication and determination.

Panthers opening day

2007-09-05T08:24:00.001-04:00

My BABY is a cheerleader

It's been along time

2007-08-07T21:19:00.000-04:00

So, everyone has been giving me crap for not posting, I have just been so freakin busy and since I can't post at work anymore, it has just been tough to get on at night, fighting T&T to use the computer.

So, lots has gone on since I last posted, I have moved in with Max, my Mom to attempt to save money to buy a place for the girls and I, but also to be able to turn both my girls in to metal mouths ;) (which costs a small fortune to do)

So, I am so in love with my daughters, I know that may seem normal/natural to most people, but I am in not only inlove with them, I REALLY like them and enjoy hanging out with them ALOT!!! We have been super busy this summer, but I think the biggest hit so far was this past weekend with another Disney concert. This concert was the closest one yet and the girls went crazy. Check them out

SO FREAKIN HAPPY

So pretty.... (check out the brace faces)

So, we are all getting adjusted to living with Mom/Grandma.... I haven't lived with her since I was 17, so here we are 16 years later doing much better then when I when I left the first time. I am doing better then my girls though and that breaks my heart. Gma is trying to mother them and change our routines. I am worried she is going to destroy her relationship with them at a time that is so cruical for her to be apart of their lives. On a lighter note though she is making me out to be SUPER mom, cause they appreciate how things are vs. what Gma wants. It's just been a little over a month and they are at least back to being in her presence again, for a week or so they didn't want to be in the same room with her. We also have all started walking together which has been nice too.

Last night on our walk we stopped at the playground and chilled, Gma and I took turns swinging and seesawing with the girls and we all had a BLAST!!! Moments like that are priceless to me. One other thing we have been doing together is watching "So you think you can dance" and are all in love with "Danny"

He is an INCREDIBLE dancer!!!!

So, I am going to try and start writing again, although my life is pretty boring aside from hangin with my girlies!!! :)

The trip to the zoo

2007-02-21T22:02:00.000-05:00

So, I was all excited to take the girls to the "Childrens Museum", but the girls didn't seem to excited although they played along for my sake. I didn't even think that they are preteens and really don't have an interest in chillin' at the kiddie spot. So, while we are driving 45 minutes away to go we see a sign for the Zoo and both of the girls say can we go there, did you see the sign. We got off the exit and I asked someone for directions and we were on our way. Oh, and by the way, I didn't have a coat with me, cause I planned on being inside, not out, but I toughed it out. We found it and went in, of course it was deserted, well maybe about 6 others there too. We didn't look at the map or see what kind of animals there were, just started walking. First we came upon the tiger, it was sleeping. So, we kept walking, saw some other crazy animals. Then saw this beautiful area, took a couple pics and continued around and there she was this GORGEOUS lioness. So cool. So, we found this spot where we could see her real good and I took some pics, then she spotted us. She played it cool at first and then came right up to where we were. here comes the really amazing, once in a lifetime moment. While we were observing her, Trish put her hand on the glass and the lioness came right up to the glass and put her paw on it, then Trish and Ty started scratching at the glass like a cat would do and she started doing it back. It was so neat. I can't even come up with the words to express this experience. I can't wait to share the pics. I didn't get any of them pawing at each other because I was stuck on stupid in amazement. Then Tricia put her face right on the glass and the lioness started to lick the glass. After she was done showing off, she walked away like the queen and jumped up on the rocks like Lion King. We just all sat there and enjoyed the moment, the incredible experience and soaked in God's Blessing for the day. I wanted to call everyone and tell them. I wanted to tell the other six people in the zoo. So,after that nothing else was quite as exciting. The girls rubbed it in that they made a good choice to come or that would have never happened and I agreed with them.

Check out the pics:
Look at my baby's face, PRICELESS!!!!!!!

So is this face!!! This is one of those pics that I want to blow up for my girls to always have that precious moment

This was when she first start coming over to us, we were right on the otherside of the rock

Check out Tricia's face in this one

My Lion King pic

My little butterflies

My girls, so pretty!

How cute is this ugly face?

HEEE HEEEE this monkey was funny about the camera, I have lots of this little guy

And of course we visited the gift shop and they tried on the mask I couldn't resist

Get-a-way with my girls

2007-02-20T21:26:00.000-05:00

I have such a fear of my litle girls growing up and not wanting to hang out with Momma anymore that I am trying to get all this quality time in I possibly can. We went on another little get-a-way this past weekend to Williamsburg (used my Mom's timeshare). We went to Kings Mill Plantation, I think that is what it was called. It was a nice resort, can't wait to go back in the summer. They had lots of activities for us to do, but most importantly they have an olimpic size indoor pool. This is very important to my girls, along with the rooms that had dvd/vcrs in every room. We took advantage of those as a family too. We had such a great time and I only asked a few times if they will love me and want to spend time with me like this in the next few years too. They sware they will, even pinky promised me. I still don't believe it, want it writen in a contract in blood. Yes, I am crazy!!! I don't really want it writen in blood, but that's how paranoid I am that they will turn in to normal teenage girls and not want to have anything to do with me.

I sat in the steamroom, while the grirls were exercising and tried to figure it out, my paranoia. I think it is because I shyed away from my Mom big time as soon as I hit middle school, I think that is when I remember it happening. I know my girls are me and I am not my Mom, but it's just a part of life, isn't it? I talk to a lot of my co-workers that have gone through it and they all continue to try and convince me that they will "hate" me by 15 at the latest!!! BOOOOOOOO!! I will prove them wrong. I am determined to maintain a close relationship with my girls.

I thought it was a good sign when after we watched a movie on Friday night in the King size bed they wanted to me sleep in there with them like a "Slumber Party". Of course I did!!! We made tote bags, painted bird houses, went shopping, saw Brige to Tarabitha (sp), went to the zoo, rented movies, ate out a few times, exercised, hung out at the pool and most importantly spent some good quality time togethe, The other cool thing was the zoo trip, that story to come soon as well as pics.

Saving Babies Together

2007-02-20T14:45:00.001-05:00

Check out this video and it will help you to understand why I walk and try to gather all of you to walk with me!!! Please let me know if you would like to walk with us or just donate to me!! :)

It is an amazing organization, one that saved my babies and many others

I believe the pics tell it all, Happy Bday Ames

2007-01-29T13:32:00.000-05:00

We do know how to have a good time together if nothing else. We also know how to claim our space and make anyone in it uncomfortable, not sure if that is a good thing. We know how to enjoy the group we are with even if some of us just met that night, you would never know it from these pics....oh and there were 262+ pics taken, I just didn't have the patience to add anymore, stupid blogger

First snow...YEAH!!!

2007-01-22T21:29:00.000-05:00

I love the snow, I mean I really love the snow. I enjoy taking the kids out and playing with them. Of course I love to take pictures!!! :) Yesterday after a looong ass drive home from Barbie's I suited up with the kids and went out to play. We were suppose to go to Aria's (girls lil sister) first bday party and as we were driving there we were sliding all over the place, so much so that I pulled over to put Trish in the backseat so if we got in an accident the airbag wouldn't get her. It was very scary, but we made it, almost three hourse later. Needless to say I had to call the other baby momma and let her know we weren't going to make it. We saw 10 accidents and about 5 stuck cars, it was so scary. Anyway after all that I was excited to get out and enjoy the streets full of kids and everything covered in white. It was absolutely beautiful. We had a great time. Aimee and I were out there for a couple hours and then came in, kids stayed out for a little longer, and made dinner and hot chocolate.

B and I took the girls to the High School Musical Concert

2007-01-16T21:47:00.000-05:00

The show was at the Verizon Center and was sold out. This was out second Disney concert of 2006. I think I enjoyed the energy from the Cheetah Girls better, but the kids liked this one, probably cause it involved boys or maybe cause High School Musical is extremely Popular right now with the kiddos. Here are a few pics (crossing my fingers to load) from the show
Check out my shirts I made the girls for Christmas!!! They were so excited. It was amazing how much High School Musical and Zac Efron clothes, purses, and jewelry there was out there. So many homemade shirts that were to cute. Also the pther crazy thing was the age ranges of the girls from little ones all the way up to late teens.

The opening of the show included the group
Vanessa Hudgens (Trish's idol, she loves her)
The last song.
And V again

The one person that was missing was the guy Trish has every poster of there is out there and that is Zac. He was filming another movie and couldn't make it, Tricia was a little sad but still very excited to see everyone else there. She was to cute. I wish I would have taken more pics of the kids rather then trying to get pics of the people for the kids. Ah well live and learn. We all had a great time.

Happy New Year!!!

2007-01-16T21:39:00.000-05:00

So, I have been trying to post pics from the New Year like the last few weeks with no success so here I go again, I am going to try and add some pics.

Yeah, It worked!!!!! Happy New Year!! This is my babies and I right at the strike at midnight

My puppy participated in the nights events as well

But this baby, I mean how cute is this New Years girl

I hate new blogger

2007-01-16T09:51:00.000-05:00

That's all!!! It has deleted my posts and won't let me add pics, it is stupid and not new and improved. I will try this again tonight at home!

They grow so fast

2006-12-21T08:44:00.000-05:00

Oh how they grow…I went to visit Tricia and Tyra’s Aunt and cousins last week. We haven’t seen them in a long time, a couple of years.

It was wonderful, we walked in, Auntie hadn’t told the kids we were coming yet, so they were really surprised when they came down stairs and we were standing there. I think I was even more surprised to see Tank, this lil man stands taller then me now, I had to look up to him…WTF….!!!!!!!! His voice was all grown except for the few high pitched tones thrown in every once in a while, a handsome young man. I wasn’t expecting that, I wasn’t ready for it and then Brit, is a little lady, my goodness. I remember throwing these kids in the tub together. I remember them staying up many nights playing with toys and then chatting and doing hair. I remember and have pics rocking Brit to sleep many times. We all sat around the table and talked for a nit and then Auntie and I went outside to catch up some. As we were talking I could hear the kids in the house laughing and catching up too, it warmed my heart!!! I am so glad we have reunited with them, cause you could see all the kids needed it and LOVED it. Of course I took a few pics, don’t have them back yet. (I am going to finally break down and get a digital camera) I twas really amazing how much Ty looks like her Aunt, I mean I know they are family and the girls lok a lot like their Dad, but it was CRAZY. She looked more like her then her daughter. When we were leaving we all exchanged lots of hugs and as we were walking to the car I hear Tank yell “I love ya’ll!!” Awwwww, my lil man all grown!! When he was younger we were very close and I am sad it has been so long. The girls talked about it all the way home and how much they missed them and can’t wait to see them again. What a great early Christmas present!!!

On a side note to ruin my beautiful post the Devil sent me an email: He is filing for Paternity Testing!!! ARE YOU KIDDING ME????????

Of course I responded, sure ok, time and place. My only concern is the girls finding out, it would break their hearts and I am not ready for that yet, ever!

Hopefully I will have some time to update some pics in here soon.

This is sooooo much fun, just try it

2006-12-14T10:17:00.000-05:00

www.simonsezsanta.com

Pictures say it all

2006-12-12T11:53:00.000-05:00

Look at my girl's face above, she is serious

So cute how they danced together all night

Yea, they think they are cool!!

even though they are the youngin's of the school

The shopping trip

2006-12-08T11:49:00.000-05:00

So, the girls asked me to take them to Target the other night. Of course I make sure dinner is done along with Homework!!! They have been doing pretty good with all things except their room, but I am working on that too.

We get tin the car head to Target, I never even asked what they wanted to buy, so when we get in there and they follow me in to the clothes I am a little confused…”Wassup guys what are you doing, I thought you wanted to come here, why are you following me?”

OHHHHHHHHHHH, I should have known, they want new shirts for their dance, which is tonight, and YES, I am chaperoning AGAIN (smacking myself in the head)!!

So, we look around, don’t really find them anything so I take them to DOTS. I needed to go to a store near there anyway. I send them in to DOTS and head to the other store, get what I need and go find them. I walk in and Tricia is looking around at all the clothes and Ty is at the clearance rack (that’s my girl). They both come towards me cause the store is closing and we got to find something fast. Tyra tells me about this shirt but thinks it might be to big but she loves it, so I tell her to go get and she comes running back saying “Mom, you aren’t going to believe this, it’s only $3!! Oh I hope it fits, $3 mom!!” She is MY child, I spit her out and is ME ME ME!!! She may not look at me but when she smiles and her personality shines through she is all me. I love it!!! Turned out the shirt fit and because she only paid $3 she also bought herself a necklace and matching earrings. Trish on the other hand was very excited that she was getting two shirt for only $30. Who’s child is this, CLUSSY???!!!! She’s not allowed to hang out with you, cause I could do hear you saying “I got two shirts for only $30, can you believe that?”, not a bargain. Anyway, it was a neat experience to have as a mom and I enjoyed it.

It was also weird for them to go to the clothes section instead of electronics or toys. My girls are growing up. They got their hair done last night and paid for that too!!! I am so proud. We have the dance tonight and they are excited I am going to be there again, which is the best part of all of this!! I love those to something kinda special and really enjoy hanging out with them and watching them grow up so beautifully.

And I am the "good" girl after all

2006-11-15T18:06:00.000-05:00

Last night I talked to D. This is such a moment of happiness for me, but also a moment of harsh reality and being grown up.

When I was 14 and met D, I loved him right from the start, he and I hit it off and were instant best friends. We did everything together and didn't worry about those we were currently involved with. We decided they would just have to deal with it and he cause he and I were just friends. Of course that only lasted so long, but unfortunately we were never both single at the same time for many months. I don't remember how many months it was before we finally got together but when we did we were "That" couple in high-school.

So this past weekend, when he came over, it was just like it was when we were younger. When he called and said he was right around the corner, my heart pounded and I had butterflies. I went outside to wait for him to pull up. As soon as he saw me, he came around the corner and pulled in the first available spot and hopped out of the car and came running. Memories, so many of them flashed through my head in those few seconds before we reached each other. It was one of those moment of your life flashing before your eyes, but everything I remembered were precious memories of me and my friend. I ramparts the first time I went to NC try visit him when I was 16 after he had moved down there and when we pulled up to the house how he was sitting waiting for me. I remembered us holding each other for minutes, a lot of them. I remembered each and everytime we saw each other after time had passed. For only a few minutes I forgot he was married and held him tight in my arms and enjoyed the flow of kisses that he was giving me all over my face, except my lips. Then reality hit me like a rock hits your windshield while driving on the highway when he stopped and was about to kiss my lips. I remembered the look and I had to turn away and break out of the arms that I used to feel so safe in. For such a skinny man I have always felt so safe in his arms and by his side. I guess because he has always defended me and had my back since we were kids. As we walked to the room, which was actually like a two bedroom apartment, he grabbed my hand and held it all the way there. He must have told he 20 times in a matter of 5 minutes how beautiful I am and how my smile melts his heart. It was nice to hear, but the whole time my conscience and morals are reminding me of his other half at home. We got in to the room and he sat on the couch and I sat on the other side. We talked and talked and talk and talked. We sat there and talked for five and a half hours w/o a break. He moved closer and closer to me, he took my feet and put them in his lap, he said he wanted to have me close to him and at that point I had to let him know that is didn't matter to me what was going on at home, he was still married.

Flash back: When we were younger we used to always claim each other, no matter what. I would always tell him, when we talked I was his and always would be and he would tell me the same. No matter who we were involved with no one ever seem to replace we held in each others hearts for many years. I remember telling him he would always be mine even if we went 20 years w/o seeing each other and then we did, I would claim him as my own and it wouldn't matter to me who he was with or what was going on, he would be mine. I guess times have changed and I have grown up and I have also accepted he isn't mine anymore. I could have been one of those woman who doesn't give fuck and I am sure I could've have had him anyway I wanted but I am not that woman. Part of me wishes I was a little, cause it's been a LOOOONG time.

So, we reminisced about everything for a couple of the hours, about all the crazy shit we did as kids and all the crazy things we did together. We were so adventurous. We just loved talking walks together. We loved playing in the rain. We loved finding new places to get it on. We loved going places we had never been. We would get in the car and just go sometimes. We loved sunsets and sunrises and watched many of them together. We were both pretty broke as teens, but we still did more then most. It was exciting all the memories he brought back to life for me that I had forgotten about and vice versa. It warmed my heart how much he remembered. I guess I never thought it meant to him as much as it did to me. We talked about the fights we had and when we made up. He told me he loved me time after time. I wanted to tell him to leave his wife, but again, I didn't.

So, at about 530 in the am I told him I had to go to sleep, because the girls and I had big plans for the day. He didn't want to leave, but he had a busy day ahead of him too.

Later that day the girls and I went by his job and he took us for ice cream next door at Cold Stone. We had a good time and he got to meet my young ladies. They bonded instantly which I thought was cool. They liked him a lot. There was lots of laughing and giggling going on. I kind of just watched and thought about him and I.

The next day he came back to our place at 0930 and we all went out to breakfast. We were there for over 3 hours and again I had to break it up cause we had to get on the road. He has called many times and is telling me how much he misses me and needs to see me/us again sooner then later. He said he is going to try to figure out how he can fix the issues and deal with them. I am not counting on anything. A a matter of fact when he said that I responded one day at a time and you don't need to jump so fast.

So here we are. I miss him and I want to call him and email him and I want to tell him how much I love him and how I feel when I am with him, but instead I am being a good girl and behaving myself. I am holding back everything I want to share and do. I know it is the right thing and I know what comes around goes around. Most importantly I know, this like my life is in His hands and that is where it will go in the direction it is meant too.

Me and Dilly, my first love ...

2006-11-14T14:01:00.000-05:00

A look at our lives through pics over the years, I am so glad to have my best friend back in my life!!!!!

Wow, would you look at that...1988

and on to 1989, not much different

I think I got a perm in 1990

and I got some sense in 1992

This is 1994 the last time I saw him before this past weekend

and here we are, still lookin a lot like we did as kids

Mommy and daughters' weekend

2006-11-13T20:59:00.000-05:00

We had a great time and lots of good bonding which is exactly what I was looking for. We arrived Thursday night after a long drive, do to the fact I left during rush hour, but it was cool, we sang and danced in the car all the way down. Once we got there the girls were starving, we picked up some food and headed to our spot. It was a nice night of me and the girls. We watched TV together and laid in the king size bed. The girls took turns in the jaquzzi tub and loved it, I eventually got in a hot shower. We went to sleep pretty early. Friday morning we woke up, went and had breakfast and headed to Presidents Park. It was cool, we took lots of pictures. The girls wanted to take pictures with all the presidents they knew, which was a lot. I tried to get them to read about each one and listen to the recordings they had but they were more interested in running around and reading what they wanted. It was cool, I made them tell me something about each president they wanted to take a picture with. ;) We had a good time. Then it was lunch time, but we drove around Williamsburg first and checked out somethings, they weren't interested in anything but getting back to the resort and going to the indoor pool, so that is what we did. It was a beautiful day and we spent most of it outside which was nice. We ate and then headed to the pool. We went in to the arcade and I got quarters out. It was dark in there and I am trying to shove quarters in the game then some kid says, "They are all free" Ohhhhhh. SO we played games for a while too. We went home showered and got the movie CARS for movie night and popped it in. I turned the couch in to the bed so we could all snuggle. Five minutes in to the movie Di called and wanted to come by, but I had to tell him it would be awhile cause we just put the movie in. He called 90 minutes later and came over. The girls were exhausted and couldn't wait up for him to come so they could meet him. He got there soon after, but that's another whole post. We had a nice time and hung out til 530 am. After he left I crashed, I was exhausted. Got up shortly after I slept and then the girls and I headed to VA Beach. We walked around and hung out together, played on the beach, ate lunch, plated some more and then headed back. We decided to stop by Di's job so he could meet the girls. He took us out for ice cream and the girls asked lots of questions about the younger me, when I was a teenager. It was cute. We all laughed a lot. They did steps and dances for him, showed off. They liked him. When it was time to leave, they ran to him to hug him good by. We went back and headed to the pool, played video games and back to eat dinner, I made breakfast for dinner and the girls loved it. They were exhausted though, for real. We all crashed. I packed up some before I went to sleep. Next morning, I got up early and packed the car up, Di called around 9 and was heading over to take us to breakfast. We hung out, he helped me pack up and we went to eat. We were at breakfast for about 3 hours and then I had to ruin the fun and get on the road. We had a good time, the girls had a blast.

On the way home Ty asked me if Di and I were ever boyfriend and girlfriend, I told her the truth and she said she could tell by the way he was looing at me. That freaked me out a little. They asked some more questions and said they liked him a lot. It was a wonderful weekend!!!

Just a quote

2006-11-13T09:04:00.000-05:00

"Everything you need you already have. You are complete right now.

You are a whole, total person, not an apprentice person on the way to
someplace else.

Your completeness must be understood by you and experienced in your
thoughts as your own personal reality."

"You should never, ever come to a point in your life where you look back
and say, 'I've wasted it.'

Don't throw away this gift God has given
you."

The girls and I are gettin away...

2006-11-09T08:33:00.000-05:00

The girls and I are off to Williamsburg for the weekend. I am so excited. We don’t do as much one on one as we did when they were younger. They enjoy having their sister with them as well as cousins or friends. As a matter of fact when I tell them we are doing something the first question usually is, “Is Titi coming?”, their pride and joy little sister, which was the case with this trip too. I told them it’s just going to be us this weekend and then seemed okay with that, maybe a little excited. They have been asking to go to Jamestown for a couple years now, I think, ever since they went on a field trip their with school. With it being Veteran’s Day this weekend, there are LOTS of activities going on. I have lined up an itinerary for us with a bunch of different options, I will let them chose. The one I am most excited about is thisI have never been there before and I think it will be so good for the girls. I am also planning to go rent new movies to have a movie night with them in the KING size bed!! We have two rooms because that’s what was available. I wanted to invite everyone down, but I keep reminding myself Mommy and Daughters weekend!!! We will also be about a hour from the beach, so I plan to take them there for a couple hours at least. The part they are really excited about, after Jamestown is the indoor pool, whoooo-hooooo. It also has a hot tub and a sauna, I can’t wait. I am probably looking forward to this more then they are and the quality time we will have together to just chill out and enjoy each other w/o any stress or time constraints. If the weather is anything like today I could be more thrilled, it’s gorgeous outside!!!

My babies are 12 today, remember when.....

2006-11-07T15:56:00.000-05:00

The first time I held them after 6 LOOOOONG weeks

My baby Ty only a few days old

and of course lil Tricia

and they have grown so nice..... I miss my lil' babies

Pics from the CHEETAH GIRLS

2006-11-01T08:08:00.001-05:00

My BEAUTIFUL Cheetah Girls!! I love this picture, it is one of my most favorite the girls have taken together!! SISTERS for Life

Awwww, my Tyra is a hat girls like me!! Can you see how much fun we had in Chocolate world. I bet they wished I didn't have my camera in there.

I snatched PP from a birthday party for a picture with my girls.

Reach for the candy, I want this wall in my room

Strike a pose little Ladies

We had great seats, this is the Cheetah Girls

Vanessa in her little clothing

More Cheetah Action

Cheetahlious

2006-10-31T16:02:00.000-05:00

We had a wonderful time with our daughters’ at the Cheetah Girls concert. Barbie and I got the notice months before the even and were so excited to take them, the day the tickets went on sale I was in Target and realized, "OHMIGOSH, the tickets", so I called Barbie and told her to quickly get online and order them, it was 1008 (tickets went on sale at 10) and would you believe they were sold out. YES, the Cheetah Girls, sold out. So, she looked at other places close to us and we ended up getting great seats in Hershey, PA. I was excited about that; I had never been there before and always wanted to take the girls. So, the day before I found similar shirts for all the girls and cheetah head bands.
We woke up Sunday morning and headed over to B’s house, took a few pics and got in the car for a BEAUTIFUL drive to PA. The drive was just amazing, leaves of all colors blowing everywhere, the mountains in the background, and horses and cows, quiet kids (cause I brought the dvd player), and time with my girl B, which was much needed.
We made great time, even with the stop to eat and got there 90 minutes early so we went to Chocolate World, lots of fun. I will definitely be taking them back this summer instead of King Dominion for the 29th time or something like that.
We headed over to Giant Stadium to get settled in for the concert. I accidentally snuck in my camera, no really, I took out the rolls of film, but forgot to take out the camera because we were rushing and THANK GOODNESS, cause I got some great pictures and everyone had their cameras. We had very good seats and the girls could barely keep their lil' bottoms in them.
The opening act was a new girl coming out on Disney in the next few months, she has a beautiful and powerful voice, OMG!!! She sounded like an angel, or what I imagine an angel to sound like. She did a few songs. Next came, the girl my baby Trish was waiting for.....Vanessa Hudgins!! THE SCREAMS increased to the point I thought, "Why did we do this" The girls all over the stadium in their cheetah attire all screamed at once and were so excited. She did a few songs and danced. I didn't care for her out-fit. Hellllooooo your target audience is all under 13 or so, dress a little more appropriate for young girls. She did good though. I can't believe they let her wear the clothes and do some of the dances though, she is only 17.
So, just when I though their is no possible way for these girls to scream any louder, Vanessa asked who was ready for the Cheetah Girls and the kids went CRAZY, like lost their minds crazy. B and I were ready for a drink at this point. We were a little nervous because the other two were so quick and short, but I must say the Cheetah Girls put on a serious show. It was very entertaining I believe to all of the audience. They did a great job and had SSSSSSOOOOOOOO much energy. They pumped up the girls and encouraged them. It was a really wonderful self esteem show too. I was really impressed and surprised at the over all show they put on and most important the energy they gave off the entire show.
When we left there the girls were all excited and very pleased, shrieking with excitement. We stopped at a little diner on the way home for dinner which we all ordered breakfast.
It was a wonderful time and it's so nice for the sisters to get to do things like this together. Thanks B for your love, friendship, support and sibling for my girls', I love you to the moon and back!

Why does 12 feel so much different then 11

2006-10-30T15:38:00.000-05:00

Why am I so nervous? Every year as the day gets closer to my daughters’ birthday party I am so crazy, nervous, anxious, excited and really wanting it to be perfect. Although I am feeling some of those things already, the party is Sat. I am feeling much better about everything this year then years past. I only need to get two things and I am DONE, DONE people, does anyone understand?! I will not be running around freaking out and out of my mind Friday night and Sat. until two minutes before the party starts. I have even made a schedule for myself of tasks to complete leading up to Sat. so I am relaxed and not stressing my girls out before the party starts. Each year I am so frantic I end up yelling and them, like it’s their fault Momma is unorganized!! Well, not this year.

I am also VERY excited about this year’s party. My girls are going to be 12, twelve years old, WOW!! For some reason it is hitting me in the gut, HARD. I don’t know if it’s my own memories of 12, or if it’s because 12 is before 13 and 13 is TEENAGER, or if it’s because having boys at their party this year is a little different then years past. Maybe it’s “D” all of the above. I have cleaned out the playroom and it is now the dance room. Picture an empty room with hard wood floors a built in corner desk that will be used for snacks and drinks and a dimmer light, ouuuu laa laaa, NOT!!!

Sean is going to hook up bigger speakers to my little radio. I have picked out cds I hope they will enjoy, plus the girls have their own collections. I have also asked my bestest friend and the mostest coolest Auntie in the world to make them a cd for dance purposes and as presents for them, make them their own cds. The girls made their song lists last night, what a variety. I will add them tomorrow for my own memories, so I can make them laugh in about 20 years.

I am also a little nervous because only a few people have RSVP’d and I know that means nothing. So, I could have 20 kids show up or 7, who knows. I am prepared for whatever, I think. I am excited. Hopefully it will all be prefect for my darling young ladies!!

Are two really any different then one

2006-10-26T15:44:00.000-04:00

I have so enjoyed every moment with my girls, even the rough ones, and as they grow the time with them seems to grow more and more enjoyable. We can actually do things together and have fun together. Anyone who has kids should understand what I am getting at. Twins, every time I tell someone I have TWINS, they look at me in amazement and then comment something negative like, “Poor thing” or “Must be so hard”, which pisses me off. I mean if you only have twins and never had a singleton, do you really know any different. It’s kinda like I attribute my singleparenthood…if I were married when I had my girls and then separated, I might understand what it is like to have someone, but I wasn’t and I don’t. Of course I imagine it would be easier to some level, but then again, I imagine it to be more complicated too. When I think about when my little angels were tiny and try to come up with what was hard I think, #1 buying two of everything and then carrying two of everything. Two car seats, two monitors (heart monitors they were on for the first years, almost the same size as a diaper bag) and then the diaper bag, not a cute little one, a BIG one, because again you have two.

Anyway, I have had it easy, I guess, I don’t know any different or have anything to compare it to. When I try to think of moments that were horrible none really come to mind, ok one, but that’s it. One night when they were still tiny little things, Ty was on Albuterol (sp) and was crying nonstop. I meaning screaming crying like someone was hurting her. Meanwhile Tricia was having a night too and was CRYING, a lot. So, the two of them were screaming at the tops of their little lungs and I couldn’t comfort either of them to calm them down. A couple of hours had passed and I couldn’t take it anymore, put them in their crib and closed the door and went outside on the balcony for about 20 minutes. When I went back in Tricia had fallen asleep and Ty was still screaming, so I called the drs. And they tell me the people put the wrong dose or something any way turns out it was like if I gave my little baby some crack. She had no control over her energy filled body. They said it would last a few more hours and it did. Aside from that one night, I don’t really remember any hard times as far as they went. Now we had hard time in regards to things out of our control, like all the sickness and doctors and surgeries and hospitalizations, but nothing my precious babies did.

I remember lots of fun times with them; I remember being excited to take them on new adventures and to see new things. I also remember being excited to take them back to places they loved and wanted to go again and creating new memories with them. They are truly my little best friends. I love hanging out with them. Don’t get me wrong I have my moments of frustration, but they usually get the bad end of the stick during those moments. My frustrations aren’t because of them, I just need a minute now and again, as we all do.

So, I guess what I am trying to say is appreciate what you have and make the most of it, the situation at hand. Find all the wonderful things in that particular situation that stresses you and focus on that. For instance, when I had my girls at 27 wks, I was told they wouldn’t amount to much, one would be a vegetable and the other may walk, but with assistance. Look at my girls now, almost 12 years later and perfect, no disabilities. I think if I would have focused on what the doctors said they might not be who they are today. Instead I focused on my beautiful little babies and every moment that was pure and priceless. I received an email from a lady that read my story on March of Dimes share –a-story website and it gave me strength and my beliefs and my faith. Here is the letter:

Thank you so much for sharing pictures of your girls with me...I could not
express to you how much it did to me..to put a face to PVL....I just cannot
beleive how good your girls look and it is so nice to see them so happy and
healthy and doing things that every child should do. Again, thank you.
You are right. I will make a conscious effort not to do any more searches on
the net. It has done nothing but worry me to death.
I do really good when i am with Sophia, because honestly, she does not give
me any reason to worry...she is happy, healthy and very alert. It's really
when i am at work that i get on the net. I just finished my maternity leave
and went back to work on the 06th.
I love her and will raise her to the best of my abilities no matter what the
outcome is....so, i will keep my head up and cuddle with her and love her to
death, as i have been doing..:))

Have a great day and thank you again!

Pictures from their first Middle School Dance

2006-10-23T10:42:00.000-04:00

Look how pretty and innocent they appear at the start of the night, before the "Friends" arrive!!
It was funny they stayed near by, but dance most of the time with different groups.

Trishy!!! Cutie Patootie!!!
Go Tyra, Go Tyra

I love training....

2006-10-20T10:02:00.000-04:00

Inspired!! We had several different trainings this week, all of which I attended. I believe even if the training doesn’t directly affect my position, it can only give me more insight and as a recruiter, I need that. It gave me more then insight, it has inspired me. It has put a fire back in me to go for the goal and recruit like crazy. I couldn’t be more happy that I sat in on all the trainings and got the opportunity to talk with employees that I don’t usually get to see on a regular basis. In fact I see them twice a month, when we have staff meetings (which I missed the last one) and on Blue Jeans for Babies days (for March of Dimes). It was a great to talk to the newer employees and check in with them and see how they are doing. I am one of these people at work that truly cares about ALL of the employees here at our company. I develop some kind of something with them through the hiring process and it sticks. I got so much accomplished yesterday after training even as tired as I was. I have gotten so much done this morning as well and I am EXCITED!!!! I talked to my boss to about needing motivation and I unexpectedly got it!! WHOOOOOOOOOO-HOOOOOOOOOOO

So, all this means I will have to start reading blogs at night and writing at night as well, cause while I am here I am going to Make a Difference and do MY JOB and DO it Well!!

Plans for the weekend, OF COURSE… My first love and I talked about possibly meeting up tonight for some dinner, but I am not sure if that is going to happen. Tomorrow, I would like to be motivated to take my girls apple picking and I am sure I will. Then Sunday is the BIG day the CHEETAH GIRLS concert. YIPPEEEE, thousands of little girls screaming at the top of their lungs!! It will be like the girls’ first dance last weekend all over again. Nahh, I am excited, not for me, but for my girls, this is a surprise for them which I have held in all this time. We got the tickets a couple months ago. They have watched the movie, The Cheetah Girls 1 and 2 so many times. ALSO…..duh…duh…daaa, one of the girls from Highschool Musical will be there as well. We are traveling up to Hershey, PA for this concert since it sold out in my area in like 6 minutes.

I tried to scan in pics this morning from the dance last weekend and my girlz night out last weekend, but something wasn’t working….. I am sad

It's getting chilly, but the weekends haven't slowed down

2006-10-17T11:05:00.000-04:00

Last weekend was very full and many pics were taken (so what else is new, I know) from Friday’s school dance to Sat. night out with the girls and finally the park and pumpkin patch with the kids.

Friday night was crazy, the kids were off the hook, and I was amazed at some of the things I saw and a little frightened even. The first thing was a group of little girls putting make up on and at the end of the night, the same group taking it off with a travel pack of baby wipes. This is why I am a chaperone!! Just kidding (a little) Then the clothes, OHMIGOSH the clothes were off the hook. Some of these girls had the “twinz” out if you know what I am sayin’ and they can’t be older then 13 unless they failed or were held back and I am sure not that many of them could’ve have been. I mean not only were they out they were accentuated in every way possible. Aside from a few things and the principal stopping the dance to let everyone know they were dancing “Way to suggestive and sexual”, it was a fun night. I had someone come take my place out in the hall so that I could go in with the girls and I had a blast with them, they even let me dance a little, w/o embarrassing them. We had a fun time and my babies had the time of their lives thus far. All weekend they kept saying they wanted to start Friday over. Both of them danced too, it was wonderful; hopefully I got some good pictures. Between the girls and I there were 2 full rolls and could’ve been more, but I had to leave my purse in the office.

Sat. morning we had a yard sale; it was FREEEEEZING, for real. Made some good pocket change though and got rid of crap I didn’t need anymore. Aimee and I went shopping and we went out for Ladies night. Hope to post some pics from that night too. We had a good time, but I think had we went elsewhere we could have had a better time. It was a long day for some of us and we were pretty tired.

Finally Sunday morning we got up, I didn’t have to help my Mom move some stuff so I wanted to take the kids out and get some good fall pics of them. Aim wanted to go too. We dressed them up in orange and black shirts and headed for the Lake. We got some really beautiful pics. The kids had enough of our snapping away and finally just went to play.

BIG Sunday dinner complete with turkey and gravy, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, broccoli and stuffing. Then we all watched “Click it” together, it was a good movie!!!

What a weekend, although I wish I got a nap or two in there. ;)

Here are some pics of the beauty that happened on Sunday …

Momma and her girls!! I love these kids so much

This one is priceless, it made the whole day worth it, does that say "Fall" or what

Awww baby Nia, look how big and how stinkin'cute, but the one with the little pumpkin is even cuter, I will find it and post

Inspire ME

2006-10-10T08:55:00.000-04:00

It’s wonderful to have a friend that is so inspiring, actually friends!!! I have been working for the last month to get my room organized, all the summer stuff put away, clean out the closet of clothes I haven’t wore and just get it together. I am almost there. This past weekend, I got my desks cleaned off so that the girls can do their homework at them. Of course where were they when I got home, not at the desks, but they were doing home work. My next goal is to find some time to start exercising. I really want to get in to a routine, because if I can, then I will stick to it. In addition once I start exercising, all these other things fall in to place with it, more energy, eating better, feeling good and I want those in my life. SO, I am going to have to figure out a plan and then talk to my roomies. Right now things are kinds wacky cause I have the babies from the time I walk in the door until 7ish when the daddy gets home and in that time I am trying to cook dinner, wash dishes, get homework done and tend to the bambinos too. By the time the Daddy gets home and all that is done, I am ready to crawl in my bed in relax, but I am usually finishing up homework with the kids and then doing something else in the house/my room. I need to make it a priority. This morning I was going to try and get up early and go for a walk, but it didn’t happen. I woke-up; I just didn’t get out of bed. I need to DO IT. Hmmmmmm!! I gotta figure out how to make this happen. I also want to start walking at night. I was going to walk last night, but there were no strollers in the house. I am giving myself until Monday of next week to figure out how I am going to incorporate exercise into my weekdays. I am going to write up a plan for myself and everyone in the house to see and I am going to stick to it, like my life depends on it, which it does, doesn’t it?! I mean I need to be healthy before I start to have issues. I want more energy and to feel better. I will figure out a way to walk tonight and I will start my plan. I would also like to cut some of the carbs out of my life, but I just don’t know how…..I LOVE THEM!!!!!!!!!!!! LOVE LOVE LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My girls did it, they got through the surgery

2006-10-02T10:11:00.000-04:00

My babies did it and came out strong!!! Both of my girls had surgery last Thursday, I know what was I thinking, well if one was going to be laid up, why not both. It didn’t really hit me what I had done until they were laying in the stretchers side by side calling out for me at the same time. They did great though. I am so blessed to have such strong, amazing, incredible little girls. We arrived a the surgical center at 0630 and I think we only sat in the lobby for a few minutes before it was time to go back and get them ready. Ty was more nervous then Trish, but that’s normal in any situation. Trish has been to this place before and had surgery so she wasn’t so scared, more prepared. Ty was asking a bazillion questions which were answered attentively by her sister, the nurse and I. We got them dressed in their gowns, and I put on my robe, slippers, head covering and mask and we waited for the doc to get there. Trish went back first because her surgery wasn’t going to be as long. She had a tube removed from her ear and her turbs shrunk in her nose. I walked her back, held her hand tight, got her up on the table, kissed her as she dozed off and then the nurses told me I could leave, I didn’t want to though, it is so hard to leave your baby laying there on a table in someone else’s hands, even if I trusted that someone. I walked down the long hall back to Ty trying to hold back the tears so she wouldn’t be scared. She asked 100 more questions in five minutes. My Mom was there too, she helped calm her down and distract her from the fear on my face. It didn’t seem like to much time passed and they were telling me to bring back Ty now. She was shaking all over, her entire little body shivering with fear. I held her tight in my arms and helped her on to the table. I whispered, “I love you” in her ear over and over again as she breathed in deep and fell asleep, kissed her and then out they sent me. I went back to get our stuff to sit in the lobby and by the time we reached the lobby door it was time to go back for Trish who was waking up. Now I was beginning to think this wasn’t such a good idea. It took Trish a while before she really woke up and when she did she complained about how much her nose and ear hurt, got her more meds and she fell back to sleep. I sat there and just held her hand and rubbed her hair off her face. Again, time went so fast and the team came in to adjust things to bring Ty in and place her close to her sister, at Trish’s request. As they both really started to come to, they reached out for one another’s hands and looked for each others face’s, it was so sweet.

So, here we are four days later, Tyra is still laid up and hurtin’ pretty bad. Trish is back at school and doing great. I am going to call the drs about Ty cause she is still in so much pain. I am so proud of my super trooper girls!!!

My high-school sweetheart, my first love

2006-09-25T18:36:00.000-04:00

I am feeling so crazy, excited, confuesd, happy, crazy and so many more emotions all at the same time, I don't know which one to let take over if any.

My first love called me on Sat. night, my high school sweet heart. My best friend for so many years as well as my partner. When I was 16 and he was 17 we made a promise to eachother that if we weren't married by 30 we would find eachother and get married. We stayed in touch for many years and then lost touch about 8 years ago. I tried to find him a few times through out the last few years, but I didn't try hard.

I figured if we are meant to be it will happen and in the timing it is suppose to. I am a true believer in faith and fate. I believe in everything has a time and a place and when left in God's hands it will happen just as it is suppose to.

So, with all that being said, I could have probably found him if I wanted too, but I found out he was married so I left it alone.

History of us: We met in highschool, I was a freshmen and he was a sophmore. He was the new kid, well the "new fine as n!gga, with the beautiful eyes". I heard about him being there after second period and then was on a mission to see him, well it just so happened that he was lost and of course my out going smiley ass was the friendliest person around so he asked me to help him. We instantly had a connection a bind and became best friends. We were passing ntes by the end of the day. I was dating someone else but hung out with him more then my man. He started dating someone too and she was ready to fight me soon enough because of the time we spent together and how close we were. Eventually we hooked up and started dating later in the year. We were together for a couple years after that. We did everything together. We took alot of walks, just hung out at the park, watched sunsets and sun rises, talked on the phone for hours and hours at a time. Then we found out he was moving to North Carolina. We decided to try and maintain our relationship for a while, but I was a wild child and just couldn't do it. Plus it was lots of money for our phone cards and travel back and forth to see eachother. We decided that we would always belong to one another and that anytime the pther could get to each other we would be together. So from that point on every guy I dated I let know, if D comes back I am going to be with him. Crazy I know!!! That was all the way up to 9 years ago I did that. And sure enough anytime he came here or I went there we were together, regardless if we were invloved or not we dropped everything to be together.

The last time we saw eachother: It was March 1994, I was with the Devil at the time and thought I was in love. I head told the Devil the same thing I told all the others, "If he comes back, I am going to be with him", well, I didn't think he was going to come back at that point. So, when he did I wanted to see him and hang out with him, but of course the Devil didn't want me to, naturally. I told him I didn't want to be with D, but I wanted to see him and hang out with all my friends one night. I had my own place, but I was staying with the Devil at the time. D was staying at my place with my friends. So, the Devil got pissed and I went home. What happened after that was a whole different entry, but the bottom line is he broke up with me. At that point D and I were together. He proposed to me, I accepted and we started trying to make babies, litterally. After day five or so, I decided I wanted to work things out with the Devil and told D that something was missing, in the middle of us making love. He was very understanding and cool with the whole thing which was amazing to me. He told me he still loved me and I would always have his heart. So, that was the last time we saw eachother. We took a picture together and he drove off. After I had the girls he got word and with the timing of it he thought they were his. They came at the right time for him, but really they were three months early. So, he got in touch with me and we wrote letters back and forth for a little while. I sent him pics of the girls and told him I was happy, he let it go and eventually we lost touch.

So, I came home and saw his number on the caller ID and freaked out, I got butterflies in my tummy and had that excited feeling you get when you are a teenager or are newly in love, the excited one. So, I thought I was crazy and ran upstairs to ask Aim if I was seeing right and then I called him back. WOW, it was as if we talked the day before. I mean we just started talking and were on a roll before we realized, SHIT, I am talkin to .....! We talked for about an hour. He said all kinds of things that made me all giddy. We reminissed for a little bit and then he told me he was at work and he would call me as soon as he got off. Sure enough at like 1005 the phone rang and he must have called as soon as he walked out the door because I heard him get in to his car. We ended up talking until 230 in the morning. He told me he still loves me. He told me he was smiling from ear to ear and felt like he was a teenager again, said the excitement was like when I was coming to see him or he was coming here. I felt the same way, but I didn't tell him that. He brought up so many memories that I forgot all about. He said he has never stopped thinkin about me and still has every picture and letter/note I ever gave him. I couldn't believe it. he talked about how I helped shape the person he is today and the father he is. That made me feel good. He asked me to meet him, but I couldn't see getting in the car and driving two hours then turning around and coming back. I wanted to though. I also reminded him he is a married man and he needs to respect and honor that. He told me he married for the wrong reasons and things weren't right. He said that something was missing and he didn't know how long they would be together. I was a good girl and tried to make him positive about it although I wanted to be like leave her and be with me. I am still amazed at how the conversation folled and how natural it all was. I am amazed at all the feelings hearing his voice brought back. The next morning I wanted to wake up and call him, but I didnt and before noon he sent me a text of good morning and how he was still cheesin and couldn't wait to hear my voice again. We talked for about an hour last night. I can't wait to see him. I am not tryin to jump his bones and the feelings I am feeling are more about the friendship and that love then anything else. He and I had something very special, one of those rare finds in a friend.

I still love him and just like everything else in my life I have put it in God's hands and prayed about it.

The Date with Daddy.....

2006-09-20T14:53:00.000-04:00

The girls had a great time with their Dad. What else is new, how can you not have a good time when you only see him once a year. Anyway…. So the story goes like this. B calls to tell me he has picked up their little sister and he is on his way. I get home from work and make sure they have all their stuff ready. Do some running around and other stuff and look at the time it’s now 5 somethin, B called me at 330ish. So, I call her and confirm that he was atill planning on picking them up, right?! We chat for a little while and then she gives me the number so Ty can call him because she has asked me 150 times when he is going to get there. No answer so I tell B to call him, he says some crap about traffic and blah blah blah he is on his way. Another 45 minutes of so goes by and now I am starting to get pissed. I mean at this point they are getting hungry, so I pick up the phone and call myself. He actually answered, I was very straight forward and emotionless, “Are you coming?” He said he was turning on to the main rd off my street. So, I rushed the girls to get ready. Ty wanted to give him the pic below, which was in my trunk so I went to get that and guess who pulled up. Now, the phone call was the first words we have spoke in years, literally. He pulls in right behind me. As I am walking away he calls me over, very cordial and nice and hands the phone to me, “Someone wants to talk to you.” What?! Is he crazy? “Who?”…..”Just take the phone”, it was his Mom. I talked to her for a bit and by that time the girls started running out. Of course both screaming and screeching with excitement to see “Daddy”. I had the pics in hand and he glanced at it and reached for it, but I pulled away. “Let me see, please” I handed him the one pic and continued to flip through to give him one of them on the first day of school too. As Tricia came running out hands in the air, smile stretched across her face he got out to hug her and the next thing was a shock, “Hi baby, you look so pretty, you look really good Trish”, just when I thought the smile couldn’t get any bigger, it did!!

I was cringing inside, but at the same time I was thankful that he was in a good mood and nice to my babies and pleasant to me. The girls had a great time with him, they went shopping and out to dinner, got back to B’s house around 10 something. When I saw them the next day they told me they had such a good time and that Daddy was going to try and get better about seeing them more often. We’ll see, cause I will only believe it when I see it!!!!!

How can he not want to be with these four all the time

(Stupid Blogger won't let me add pics!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111111!!!!!!!!!!)

THIS SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!

2006-09-14T13:21:00.000-04:00

I hate this, I am so torn and confused and it sucks as a Parent (mom) to have to even be in this position.

The Devil (Daddy) called the girls' younger sister yesterday and talked to her about picking her up on Friday, she was ecstatic and then threw back at the Devil, "What about my sisters?", and apparently he responded some type of yes we can pick them up too. B called me to ask me if they wanted to go. Here comes the sick, stomach wrenching, want to throw up decision, do I tell them or not say anything, because I don't want them to go. Am I being selfish or protective? Is he going to hurt my baby again, telling her about her weight, if I ask her if she wants to go will she even remember the pain she felt? Am I going back on my own promise to never keep them from their Dad no matter what my opinion, because it's up to them? If I don't tell them and their baby sisters brings it up will they feel rejected and hurt again? Is it better to just not let them go and get over it or to let them go and suffer the next 10 months he decides not to call or see them? That's right it has been 10 months since he has seen them, not a couple or a few, 10 freaking months!!! When was the last time he saw his other daughters, oh in the last three months. How will this affect them as they get older, more mature and wiser? Have I made up for his sorry A$$ in attention? Is allowing this to go on, the seeing them once a year worse then not letting them see him at all? I honestly don't know. I guess I feel like if I don't hold them back then they can't blame me, the fault will fall on the Devil, where as if I don't let them see him it will be my fault.

I am so torn!! I grew up w/o my dad, never met him and have never even seen a picture of him. I remember when it started to bother me, at the time I begin to notice boys. I remember hating my mom (at the moment) for not allowing him to be in my life. I remember resenting her for making the decision to keep him out of my life instead of allowing me to make that decision. I was angry at her for many years about my Dad. I don't want to put my daughters through that. I also don't want to put them through thinking they have anything to do with the reason their Dad is absent in their lives or only comes around once a year and doesn't call during these missing periods either. My girls left the Devil probably close to 10 messages for him to come to their grad party and he didn't respond to one call and of course didn't show up. That really hurt them and they asked lots of questions which of course I told them, "you two will have to ask Daddy when you talk to him, because I don't know", instead of saying, "That loser A$$hole has no sense of responsibility and doesn't care enough to make an effort to respond"

I have never said a negative or bad thing about him and I don't plan on it because I firmly believe they will draw their own conclusions w/o my input. I also still think they are to young to understand why the Devil does what he does because I don't even understand it.

So, after talking to B last night I decided to ask them if they wanted to see "Daddy", because I always told myself if they want to go I will let them and the way Ty reacted you would have thought I asked her if she wanted to go to Disney World. Trish just said yes and I don't know if it's cause of the last visit or because she wasn't feeling well. I told her she didn't have to go if she didn't want to and that it was up to him. I also made sure to have my back and say It's not definite, just a possibility cause you never know when he isn't going to show, or if he will change his mind and only pick up Ti and not the twins.

So, if anyone has anything to say positive or negative I would really like some input, because all I can go off of is my own feelings.

First day of middle school

2006-09-12T15:26:00.001-04:00

Look at my pretty girls!!! This is the morning before school. Yes, that's how every first day goes, they are scrambling to get ready and Mom is chasing them with a camera, "wait, stop, get together, smile, one more, please!!!!"
They told me I wasn't allowed to come to the bus stop and take pics, but they wanted to me to come, just not take picstures and they stressed that. Well with the rain, I behaved and left my camera in my pocket. Poor girls, I left for work and the bus didn't end up coming for a hour and ten minutes, meanwhile it was pooring rain this whole time. They finally got to school, their bus had broke down and they couldn't find a sub. By the time they got home, their hair looked NOTHING like this. Then, just to make the day perfect, they locked themselves out. What a day, the rest of the week was good and all this week too.

Ty is standing up on a step she isn't even taller the Princess!! Oh they looked so grown at the stop with their umbrellas in the rain. :)

Party of the Summer

2006-09-07T08:46:00.000-04:00

I had a slumber party for my girls the weekend before last and it was a hit. I told the girls they could invite three friends each, what was I thinking, plus their little sister because I knew one of the lil’ sisters of their friends was coming to. So, now we’re up to 10 kids. Well, so and so heard about the party and called and was sad cause they weren’t invited and they saw so and so at the pool and they heard and next thing you know, I don’t know how many kids are showing up. We had been planning this shebang all summer and the opportunity presented itself to finally have it when I knew my roommates were headed out of town. So the girls have been AMPED up about it. I tell them to call their friends and remind them to bring bathing suits and pool passes (almost everyone that lives in my area belongs to the pools). The girls are so grown and are giving directions and I hear them providing the address and listing what will have planned for the evening. Awwwwww, so cute. I talk to a few parents, but not all, which I am surprised about. I guess I have met most of the parents at one previous school function or another. So, in addition to all these girls, they have called the boys and told them to meet us at the pool. HAAAAAA, no not funny really. So, we walk to the pool and no boys, whooo, thank goodness. I guess I spoke to soon because here they come and the parents are dropping them off. I have in my care now about 12 girls and 5 boys. I don’t know how teachers do it. We are only there for two hours, I can do this. We have one that gets made fun of and ends up crying, another that goes to bat for her and hits one of the boys, he gets a bloody nose and now I have to step in. I talk to them all and they all respect me and what I said, not that I was that worried cause I know most of these kids and their parents. Turns out one of the mothers of three of the boys can’t come pic them up yet, no biggie (just so happens to be the twin boys my girls have a crush on and their cousin). We allllllll walk back to my house and I cook. I cook a pack of hot dogs and 12 hamburgers, oh and three boxes of mac and cheese. These kids are starving, it’s about 8 now. Some how, still not sure how I did it, but I managed to feed them all, settle them down, get them out of wet clothes, make some of them take showers and sit down and eat myself. We all watched a movie together, “She’s the Man”. It starts to get pretty dark and I have sparklers that I told them we would do, so before it’s too late we pause the movie and head out to the driveway and light them up. I have Tricia helping me and the boys Mom shows up too. At this point I am EXHAUSTED and it’s only 930. We finish the movie, the boys are gone. We do crafts, make book marks, door hangers, and bracelets and them have a dance party. We play a couple games and them they dance again. Do they ever stop, am I crazy for doing this, when can I go to sleep. I decide it’s time to settle down again, pop in a movie, make 5 bags of popcorn and position them in their sleeping bags. It’s now about 2 and I head upstairs. I wake up around 3 something and smell something strong, so I peak to see what’s going on, now they are doing their nails, I just close my door and try to go back to sleep. I wake up again around 430 and all the girls are finally sleeping. Alarm goes off at 730, time to wake the first one up and get her fed and ready for her dad to pick her up. Once she is off, I start cooking. I make pancakes, eggs and fruit for the kids. After the last one is picked up, I head upstairs an sleep until 1.

I did it, and not only did I do it, I did it well and all the kids think I am the coolest and T and T are so happy and proud of their Momma. They have also informed me that on the first day of school, everyone was talking about their party and how cool it was and how "fun" you Mom is!!!!! I guess it was all worth it

Pre-teen or what?! More from the Chris Brown concert

2006-09-01T09:57:00.000-04:00

Here they are again, my too grown looking little girls. I got these back and as I am going through them my mouth is dropping to the floor, because CRAP, are these my lil’ girls? They both almost look like teenagers, I know it’s only a year away, but I am counting on one more year to get an even closer bond to them then we have. I make them promise me on a daily basis that they will always be my best friend and never hate me!!! ;) They think I am funny when I tell them one day you aren’t going to like me and it is coming soon. I pray it doesn’t come; it doesn’t happen with all teens does it?????
REALLY, how stinkin' cute are they???

BABIES!!!!!!!

2006-08-31T13:13:00.000-04:00

Wow, three weeks makes a big difference. These two little angels are only a few weeks apart.

Honestly I think it is the breast milk, can you tell which baby drinks it?

hee heee

Middle School Orientation

2006-08-24T09:12:00.000-04:00

I took the girls for orientation yesterday. They are going in to Middle School and I am just blown away. I mean it didn’t really hit me until yesterday when we walked in the school and cheerleaders are running around, there are lockers down the halls, but the punch to the gut was buying the gym uniforms. Standing in line I was fine, but when it came time to hold them up to them and figure out sizes, it was like someone took my breath away.

Immediately I started reminiscing about my first day of middle school and couldn’t believe MY kids were now going, granted I started middle school in 7th grade, but holy cow I remember it so clearly. I remember how nervous I was and how I went from very out going to kinda shy. Granted, I also moved over the summer and was going to not only middle school, but a new school as well where I didn’t know anyone. At least my girls know lots of kids and have also met some others that didn’t go to their elementary school at the pool this summer. I remembered my first crush and my first heart break, although neither was really significant, they felt very real during those years. I remember getting involved with the “Popular” crowd and pulling myself out quick and finding two plain Jane girls who I became best friends with and hung out with for those two years. I remember hating it because it was not a diverse school. We moved from the ghetto to a more prestige area and I freaked out. I remember changing for gym and everyone was so shy and I had no shame and was very confused about if we are all girls, why are ya'll freaks going to change in the little bathroom stalls? This will be my Tricia too, I think. I don't even know how to prepare them except to continue to be positive and encouraging and most of EXCITED because "this is soooo coool", AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

So, I am feeling all these things and walking my “Babies” around the school and introducing them to teachers and just numb to all that is going on around me because I can’t believe that these years have gone by so fast and where did they go? I do have a million pictures I can pull up to tell me where the years went, but it won’t help the scared feeling I have in my tummy for all that is to come for my babies in the next few years. All we will go through together and get through together, all the questions, the fears, anxieties, happy times, BOYS, hanging out, dances, crushes, heart breaks, secrets, tears, joys, emotions and so much more.

THANK GOODNESS I have a strong support of friends around me the girls trust because I know they will be calling you all as well!!!! My little babies that came out weighing less then 4 lbs together have grown in to these beautiful young ladies that I can’t be more proud of!!! I love you my Angels and Mommy is always here for you both!

Look at my babies, WOW!!!!!!!

2006-08-21T09:06:00.000-04:00

How beautiful are my baby girls and their cousin!!!!!! Look how freaking happy and excited they are. This was right before Chris Brown was going to preform.

First concert for my girls

2006-08-21T08:28:00.000-04:00

What a wonderful time I had with my girls and my niece on Sat. night. I got tickets for the three of them to go see the Chris Brown concert as a surprise end of the summer event. Of course I could only hold it in so long after I got the tickets because I knew how excited they were going to be. Wow, I had know idea how big of a deal the first concert would actually be, it required, hair done, new out-fits and shoes to go with, jewelry and of course a little lip gloss. The three of them looked really pretty.
On the way to the concert the girls are singing and screaming because they are so excited and I am smiling ear to ear because of their happiness. I remember my first concert; we got dropped of with tickets in hand. I was 13 and going to see New Edition. I remember the same excitement my daughters both had oozing out. So, as we get closer and they see a sign for the Nissan Pavilion they all start screaming.
After walking up a 100 stairs to the field we get settled around 6 pm, concert starts at 7. The girls BEG me to upgrade their seats when they see people getting up from the field and leaving. So, I said yes, but only if they didn’t ask for anything else. We walked around to find the upgrades and got great seats, even better seats because we moved up to the front row where no one was sitting. The show started and the girls, danced, sang and had so much fun. Of course I had to get pictures taken since you weren’t aloud to have your camera, I paid $1,000,000,000 to get these to pics taken, okay $20, but shit, that’s a lot for two little pics. However, after I saw them it was worth it.
The concert was great, very entertaining and lasted four hours!!! The girls had a wonderful time and I loved seeing their excitement, joy and awe of their favorite singer. Took us 45 minutes to get out of the lot, we went and ate at IHOP, we were all starving!!! Got home around 1:45 and when I woke the girls up to go in the house, they were still mumbling, “Thanks, Mom, you are the best”

oh the million dollar picture

There is one more of the three of them, but Blogger is F-in' up!!!!

My Mom.....she knows how to get me....

2006-08-18T15:52:00.000-04:00

I received this from one of my close friends today and it made me cry like a baby right from the beginnning reading it, so of course I sent it out.

Strongest Dad in the World
From Sports Illustrated, By Rick Reilly

I try to be a good father. Give my kids mulligans. Work nights to pay for their text messaging. Take them to swimsuit shoots. But compared with Dick Hoyt, I suck.
Eighty-five times he's pushed his disabled son, Rick, 26.2 miles in marathons. Eight times he's not only pushed him 26.2 miles in a wheelchair but also towed him 2.4 miles in a dinghy while swimming and pedaled him 112 miles in a seat on the handlebars--all in the same day.
Dick's also pulled him cross-country skiing, taken him on his back mountain climbing and once hauled him across the U.S. on a bike.
Makes taking your son bowling look a little lame, right?
And what has Rick done for his father? Not much--except save his life. This love story began in Winchester, Mass., 43 years ago, when Rick was strangled by the umbilical cord during birth, leaving him brain-damaged
and unable to control his limbs. ``He'll be a vegetable the rest of his life;'' Dick says doctors told him and his wife, Judy, when Rick was nine months old. ``Put him in an institution.''

But the Hoyts weren't buying it. They noticed the way Rick's eyes followed them around the room. When Rick was 11 they took him to the engineering department at Tufts University and asked if there was anything to help the boy communicate. ``No way,'' Dick says he was told. ``There's nothing going on in his brain.''
"Tell him a joke,'' Dick countered. They did. Rick laughed. Turns out a lot was going on in his brain.
Rigged up with a computer that allowed him to control the cursor by touching a switch with the side of his head, Rick was finally able to
communicate. First words? ``Go Bruins!'' And after a high school classmate was paralyzed in an accident and the school organized a charity run for him, Rick pecked out, ``Dad, I want to do that.''

Yeah, right. How was Dick, a self-described ``porker'' who never ran more than a mile at a time, going to push his son five miles? Still, he tried. ``Then it was me who was handicapped,'' Dick says. ``I was sore for two weeks.''

That day changed Rick's life. ``Dad,'' he typed, ``when we were running, it felt like I wasn't disabled anymore!''
And that sentence changed Dick's life. He became obsessed with giving Rick that feeling as often as he could. He got into such hard-belly shape that he and Rick were ready to try the 1979 Boston Marathon.

``No way,'' Dick was told by a race official. The Hoyts weren't quite a single runner, and they weren't quite a wheelchair competitor. For a few years Dick and Rick just joined the massive field and ran anyway, then they found a way to get into the race officially: In 1983 they ran another marathon so fast they made the qualifying time for Boston the following year.

Then somebody said, ``Hey, Dick, why not a triathlon?'' How's a guy who never learned to swim and hadn't ridden a bike since
he was six going to haul his 110-pound kid through a triathlon? Still, Dick tried. Now they've done 212 triathlons, including four grueling 15-hour
Ironmans in Hawaii. It must be a buzzkill to be a 25-year-old stud getting passed by an old guy towing a grown man in a dinghy, don't you think?

Hey, Dick, why not see how you'd do on your own? ``No way,'' he says. Dick does it purely for ``the awesome feeling'' he gets seeing Rick with a cantaloupe smile as they run, swim and ride together. This year, at ages 65 and 43, Dick and Rick finished their 24th
Boston Marathon, in 5,083rd place out of more than 20,000 starters. Their best time'? Two hours, 40 minutes in 1992--only 35 minutes off the world
record, which, in case you don't keep track of these things, happens to be held by a guy who was not pushing another man in a wheelchair at the time.

``No question about it,'' Rick types. ``My dad is the Father of the Century.'' And Dick got something else out of all this too. Two years ago he had a mild heart attack during a race. Doctors found that one of his arteries was 95% clogged. ``If you hadn't been in such great shape,'' one doctor hold him, ``you probably would've died 15 years ago.''

So, in a way, Dick and Rick saved each other's life. Rick, who has his own apartment (he gets home care) and works in
Boston, and Dick, retired from the military and living in Holland, Mass., always find ways to be together. They give speeches around the country and compete in some backbreaking race every > weekend, including this Father's Day.

That night, Rick will buy his dad dinner, but the thing he really wants to give him is a gift he can never buy. ``The thing I'd most like,'' Rick types, ``is that my dad would sit in the chair and I would push him once.''
Here's the video.... http://youtube.com/watch?v=WjPrL3n63yg

then I got this from my mom this afternoon:
Wow. Wish I could have been that good for you.
Mom

Is it really almost over...

2006-08-16T14:21:00.000-04:00

I can’t believe the summer is coming to an end. I think this summer seemed to go faster then any other and I can’t figure out why. The girls and I had a fulfilled summer and I look forward to relaxing and snuggling up in the fall and winter. I look forward to coming home and relaxing, not running around like crazy.

Let’s see this summer we
 Went to the beach/camping
 Went strawberry picking
 Went to a water park
 Saw the Broadway show Annie
 Threw two baby showers and
 Went to hospitals to visit those two new babies
 Went to the pool a bazillion times this summer, more then any other
 Went on lots of nature walks
 Went to the movies on a rainy day
 Celebrated a few birthdays
 Went to Kings Dominion
 Played in the creek, ewww, oh and the Potomac, ewwwwer
 The girls started tennis lessons

And we still have a few more adventures to go
 Of course the Pool
 Girls first concert (Chris Brown and Neyo)
 BBQ at Great Gma’s
 Another camping trip
 A day out in the country
 The zoo
 Slumber Party
 Pool Party

How many weeks are left?? How am I going to accomplish all of these tasks? I don’t know, but I am pretty confident we will get almost all of them in if the weather holds up for us. I am really enjoying the time with my kids, my friend’s kids and their lil’ sister this summer and all the wonderful moments we have been able to document and share.

2006-08-16T14:18:00.000-04:00

The Summer Mommas

Almost there....

My baby and I chillin'

Summer Events

2006-08-16T14:12:00.000-04:00

Water Park, check out my kids!!!!

Can anyone tell what we are celebrating?!!!???!!!

Wolf Trap to see Annie

Party like it's 1999

2006-07-28T10:02:00.000-04:00

Back in the day......I reminisce, I reminisce

2006-07-28T08:07:00.000-04:00

Happy Friday Lady Elements!

I don't remember what year Bug created this for us, but the pics are from a trip we took in 1999. Gosh we were so stinkin' cute, if anyone can see any of us in the pics being that we were all trying to squish in this little booth and then fight for picture space, it was hillarious, good memories, good times!!!! :)

Buggie, wasn't there more to this and do you still have it??? I need it!!!!!!!! please!!!!!111!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You know the color version, this is all I got!!! Didn't have color printer then. I love this!!! It makes me smile and laugh so hard!!! :)

STUPID BLOGGER

2006-07-27T13:47:00.000-04:00

Doesn't want to load pics, so you will have to wait til tomorrow girlies to see what I found!!!!!

Don't hate me, hate the game!!!! ;)

YOU ARE THE BEST

2006-07-26T14:10:00.000-04:00

I sware I want to write every freakin' day and I just don't have the time. I have really been trying to get more focused at work and at home, Haaaaa, yea right, maybe at 11 when I am ready for bed would I have the time to sneak on the computer and blog, but I am tooo tired then.

Anyway, I received the most beautiful flowers ever today and Boy, was I surprised. Thank you my love!!! I appreciate you so much, you always know how to brighten my spirits,bring the joy back to my heart, and make me smile all over. I love you baby!!!

Life is a garden,
Good friends are the flowers
And time spent together,
Life's happiest hours.
And friendship, like flowers,
Blooms ever more fair,
When carefully tended
by dear friends, who care.
Thank You My Friend!!

I got something similar but more beautiful then these today:

Fresh Flowers

2006-07-21T15:41:00.000-04:00

There are so many things I want to BLOG about, but just never enough time in the day, between work, emails, kids, dinner and TV. I keep thinking I will make more time to BLOG, because I have a running list of things I would like to write about going on in my head. Last night, I just decided to write in my journal, because I was already in bed snuggled under my covers when the need to write came about as I listed to this new cd, of a new artist, she is fabulous, if you are a Norah Jones fan, I think you will like her. She has a very soothing, calming voice. One that she would be singing about killing people, destroying the universe and I would’ve never caught on, because the sound has taken me to my own place of comfort.

So, I was thinking about the “ex” last night, the bad/good one, Ryan. I came across something that instantly made me reminisce about some beautiful times we had together and I got out the photo album while listening to beautiful music and looked at the pics and cried. It was just an emotional cry, I miss him!!! I don’t miss all the bad times, who does, but I miss the good ones. I miss the way he treated me like a princess and just wanted me to be happy (when things were good) he loved to see me smile and I appreciated that about him. I came across my first bday with him which was a few weeks after we started dating and he went all out for me, I was so impressed.

He took my daughters’ to get me a present and asked them what they wanted to get me. They told him they wanted to fill a room with flowers for me and a cake, so he took them to the store and told them to grab as many bouquets as they could carry in their arms and let them pick out a cake too and decorate it. I had to stay up in my room and when they were ready he blind folded me, walked me downstairs and surprise…. My babies started singing, the whole kitchen floor (it was empty we were moving) was filled with flowers of all kinds and colors and in the middle of the floor was a cake lit with candles with the words Happy Birthday Mommy written on it in the cutest hand writing. I was blown away and taken back and overwhelmed. What an amazing gift!!!!!! Later that day I received a heart shaped diamond necklace that he asked my friend to help him pick out. Good Times, Good Times!!!!!

The flowers filled two pitchers and a vase, this is just one pitcher full!!!

I tried to load pics, not working, DAMN blogger!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why doesn't it give me an error message instead of trying to fool me with the "done" and then nothing. I will try again on Monday!!! :( Syke, it worked, finally

Oh and I didn't go a day, not one, w/o fresh flowers from this day forward for 7 or 8 months, he was pretty charming, I got cards for no reason too.

and Here she is...... Nia

2006-07-18T09:26:00.000-04:00

An Angel

Look how Big she is (remember people this was a natural birth)
And the kids (can someone photoshop Ci into this pic?) with Momma
The Proud Poppa (should read "The tired Poppa")
And of course I am the proudest Auntie in the world, I have more pics with the Nia then I took of anyone else with her. She is a doll baby, honestly. She seems to only fuss if the diaper is wet or she is really hungry, otherwise she is just chill, what an amazing little girl!!!!

I love you little N.A.M!!!! :)

One Year and it continues

2006-07-17T15:02:00.000-04:00

One year, it’s been one whole year; 52 weeks, 365 days and I have survived it and feel incredible. I can’t believe I did it. I never ever thought I would be able to, but here I am SINGLE and happy. This is a huge accomplishment for me. Since I was 14 and had my first boyfriend I have gone w/o one until last July. I have always been very co-dependant and labeled myself as such and others have too. Not anymore people!!! I am NO LONGER CO-DEPENDANT!!!! I am INDEPENDANT!!!

For most this probably wouldn’t be a big deal to be single for a year, however this is one of those things I never thought I would get through, being alone, w/o a man. Not only have I done this for myself, but for my beautiful daughters’, so they know and believe you don’t have to have a man to validate who you are as a woman. I think I believed this for a long time that if I didn’t have a man that something was wrong with me or I would be judge as such and I am not sure at what point in my life that stuck, but it did.

So, here I am one year later from the best/worst relationship in my life and I am happier today then I have ever been in any relationship. I guess there really is something said about being alone and giving yourself time to find you and fall in love with you/ME. I love me and I am glad that it is no longer a chore to be alone. I am actually in no rush to hop in to another relationship and I am so much closer to my daughters’ now that I can truly focus on them and dedicate myself to them and only them. This would be the first year they have had me all to themselves in 11 years.

Don’t get me wrong I have my days I go through thinking “I will never find the one” or “I am going to be alone forever”, but I wouldn’t have given this experience up for either of those. I believe that God will bring me my mate in time when I am truly ready. I trust that when I have gone through all I need as a single person, the right one will walk in to my life and I will not settle. I know that I am much happier and stress-free then I was in any relationship and I don’t have to worry about how to manage my time between man, friends and kids. I know there are many benefits to being married or in a healthy relationship and I look forward to those, but for now, I will continue to enjoy my new found freedom.

I tried to enter my fat happy picture but No luck, you will just have to trust me on this one.

Coolest cake

2006-07-13T09:59:00.000-04:00

I was reading through MYSPACE profiles and came across someones pictures, I love to look at pics, anyone's, especially if they are pics from an event with friends. We all know I am a little crazy. So, I am looking with this random persons pictures and come across this cake. WOW, that's the funniest thing I have seen in a long time, how great is this cake....

Don't get any ideas guys, I don't want this on my next cake, but it made me smile hard!!! So much love out there!!!

Baby Girl "Noname" (No name) is on her way

2006-07-12T08:22:00.000-04:00

I haven't even had a chance to post from the baby shower and the baby is on her way this morning. I woke up to feed the dogs and it was super early for us in the house, so I walked downstairs in my t-shirt (thinking no one will be up anytime soon) and then Sean is standing at the top of the stairs as I am stumbling up them saying, "Pssst Pssst, it's time". Of course I don't realize what's going on and I say, "Time for wha... OH IT'S TIME!!!!! The baby is coming!!!!!!!!!" and he sends me to go check on her while he goes to brush his teeth and gather himself. Sure enough contractions are coming and I am running around trying to get whatever she needs and then I realize I am still only in my tshirt, of course she doesn't care at this point. I send them off, lay down for five minutes and hop in the shower, get Baby Ci ready, wake up the kids and here I am at work!!!! I can't wait to hold my new precious baby girl, I can't wait to snuggle her and smell her and hear her little voice, see her beautiful eyes and sing to her. I will post pics in the next couple days!!!!

Congratulations Aim and Sean!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh here's one pic from the shower, they are both having girls, B's is coming soon in a few weeks!!!!

Happppppy Birthday to us!!!!

2006-06-29T12:01:00.000-04:00

I love you Angel Face!!!! And I look forward to a wonderful and blessed year for the both of US!!!!

Storm before the Calm???

2006-06-27T10:56:00.000-04:00

One of the worst days of my life, probably the most emotional since Ryan and I broke up almost a year ago. My daughter walked in the house last night and all her hair was GONE, that’s right, GONE. My friend’s Mom cut it off. Didn’t say anything to me, didn’t ask me just tied her hair up in four little ponytails and cut. My heart is broken. I didn’t even know what to do but go up to my room and cry. I felt angry and enraged and wanted to hurt someone. All I kept saying to myself is …”Why” and “WTF”. I can’t even put my baby’s hair in to one ponytail. It is so short in the back that it just sticks out and uneven from every angle. I am still sick, working on getting over it, but SICK and disgusted that someone has the balls to do this. I brushed her hair out to see how truly bad it was and lost it. I threw on my sweat jacket and tennis shoes and went running out in the pouring rain, screaming and crying. I am so upset because 1. She had NO RIGHT 2. My baby loved having long hair 3. My own issues of when I was younger and couldn’t grow my hair out 4. SHE HAD NO RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I called my Mom and she of course wanted to call her which would have done NO GOOD, so I said NO, but she talked to me until I calmed down. I went back home and hung out with the girls for a little and got them to bed. I laid down in bed and cried myself to sleep. What a day!!!!

This morning I wok up to sunshine and my beautiful daughters’ standing above me with a precious present for my Birthday, earrings and a necklace, I love it. I also working on letting this go, because there is really nothing I can do about it at this point.

My computer is down

2006-06-22T08:11:00.000-04:00

Our computers are down and this is the one day I have to write and I gots nothin’, aside from I am tired. Our computers are down and have been since I got in at 0730 this morning. My boss said something about taking a half day of vacation, but since I commute in and my co-workers have access, that won’t work. Our phones just came up at about noon, but still no access and no internet, stinks. I did get my desk cleaned out and my drawers, I organized everything. Then I cleaned out my computer, the parts I could access. There is one area up on my floor that has access and everyone is crowed in that room, I have never seen so many people in that area in the four years I have been here. It’s kinda funny, that nobody really seems phased by it, except for our IT staff that is running around with their heads cut off trying to get us back up. So, today has been almost like a work function where we get to see everyone from all the different teams, I love it.

I am one of those rare people out there that is fortunate to have a wonderful job with a company that I love and enjoy. I really enjoy almost everyone on our staff in and out of work. This past Friday our CEO got us (and our guests) tickets for the DC Improv, which was so much fun. Then after the show a bunch of us went to a bar to hang out some more, we had a blast, all of us!!! Our company really is like one big family and our CEO is the Mom and she does the most amazing job ever keeping us in line as well as making sure we are happy and enjoy ourselves. She also cares, truly about her employee and knows our names and kids or spouses as well. Here’s an example; when I finally got custody of the girls I was so excited, CEO had been pushing me for years offering nothing but support, so when I got it she was one of the first I wanted to tell. When I walked in her suite she was in a meeting with many people, but from way across the room she caught eyes with me and gave me a thumbs up and when I returned it she mouthed “Congratulations” and gave me the warmest smile. A few days later I received a personal card in the mail (hallmark) telling me how proud of me she was. I mean, really, does anyone else have a CEO as amazing as mine? I could go on and on about her, but I won’t! Bottom line is she has done some absolutely amazing things and I have so much respect for her.

Update: My computer came back up at 3 yesterday and I leave at 4